franktownfrank
After all that evolution and they still couldn't convince Bill to wear pants to work.
gm_zero
"Sharptooth to H.Q... I've infiltrated the human orphanage facility... no one suspects a thing..."
Bosephus5000
"These attacks on my age are irrelevant! I am not too old to be President..."
Mr.Ironic
"When will he let us go?" "He'll get bored soon,just stay still and act like a doll"
thefallguy
Good luck changing your shoes at the beginning of the episode with those small arms.
jwhaler
His brain may be the size of a pea, but his heart's the biggest of all.... Awwwwwww.
Gatt
King: "So what do you call a gay dinosaur?" Queen: "Ummm, Ralph, I think you should..." King: "A Mega-Sore-Ass. Get it? Aw fuck, he's right behind us isn't he?"
bobboringbaker
It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood, a beautiful day for a dinner. Would you be mine? Could you be mine?
technotard
The Land of Make-Believe started to get a little creepy when Mr. Rodgers asked the kids to sprinkle meat tenderizer on themselves and pretend like they were little, juicy, tasty steaks.
boyeee
New research suggests the cause of dinosaur extinction may have been the fact that they were actually just a bunch of sissy queers.
superpoop
In the Kings last attempt to free himself, he overflowed his diapers with urine and feces to give Dino Rogers the ultimate 'stink palm'.
flyerzrule
Replacing the donkey, the democrats decided to adopt a stronger, scarier mascot before the 08 election.
CavalierX
So every other dinosaur I've ever seen depicted is naked? Jurassic Park was dino porn?
phreesh
Once they managed to clone a T-Rex and it matured to adulthood, it was pretty apparent why they died out.
Bosephus5000
With the passing of Mister Rogers, King Friday and Queen Sara were forced to pursue more aggressive representation.
microhendy
Christians have Jesus on the cross, Muslims have Muhammed and Scientologists have...
Daniel_Garcia
When Marty McFly altered the past and went back to 1985, he didn't realized that his Crispin Glover wasn't his father anymore
jwhaler
Billy was always having to stand at school because the desks wouldn't accommodate his backward-bending knees...
Drroxxette
You know what they say about dinosaurs with big shoes...They've got tiny puppet hands...
grafton
No one could call Robert's new sculpture - Grandpa BadTouch - subtle....or good.
phreesh
Sure, he looks harmless enough, but that cardigan is made from the pelts of puppet show-loving children.
Bosephus5000
Sarah Palin's version of evolution differs slightly from the theories you'll find in most books.
jwhaler
The Sign Reads: "The Mall Rex (venaliciumosarus) lured in its prey of small children with promises of free puppet shows. Sadly, Internet shopping lead to its quick extinction."
Holy the Goalie
Trolley hauled ass when Mr. Rogersaurus Rex rampaged through Imaginary Land looking for snacks.
LaPalme2
"How the T-Rex learned to dress itself with it's very tiny arms still remains a mystery."
dubiousmx
With Jurassic Park's sudden closer due to shaky economics, T-Rex had to find work wherever he could.
dant
Hi there! I'm a Reptilion and I secretly rule the world. Say hello to my puppet governments!
Leaf
King Friday XIII of the Neighbourhood of Make-Believe might have been a kind ruler, but he didn't cut corners with personal protection... You don't fuck with King Friday XIII!
phreesh
"You want to release him to the public? Are you insane?! He's a kill-crazy eating machine!" "Sure he's a killer...Entertainer!! Look at those puppets move!"
Borsey
Rex's mates were obviously taking the piss when they told him the shirt/tie/cardigan/leggings/Nike/puppet look was timeless...
snotsnake
Paleontologists were proud to reveal the artist's rendering of Anal-retentasaurus
Truthiness
Tripping on acid while visiting the Creation Museum will yield some interesting results.
heartlessevil
Good evening sir! Would you be interested in the bible according to ST-Rex?
getittwistd
Freddy was so enamored with Mr. Rogers Neighborhood that he stole the royal family while visiting the studio. Mr. Rogers will have to hunt him down for a little Dinosaur spanking session now!
JoeS
After the rumors of Mr. Rogers being a Navy SEAL were debunked a far more darker one was alleged.
HelperMonkey
Up next we have the Retardasaursus Rex, which went extinct over 65 million years ago...
Nimzomitch
Little did we all know that Mr. Rogers was actually a human imposter - a close cousin of the aliens from "V".
CoastieGurl
Who's the scariest kid outside the mall, the scariest kid outside the mall....Hey neighbor.
Dragonman
Even in his later years, Barney never quite got over his obsession with chidren.
walloftext
You know what they say about people with big feet ... ... They have small arms.
tomroadrunner
Give me your children or the king dies!!! ... What? Oh no, the kitten dies regardless...
getittwistd
Not understanding how the King and his mistress had given birth to a Dinosaur 50 times their size, Wells Fargo rejected Arty's application for a loan.
thefallguy
Deleted scenes from the collectors edition DVD of Jurassic Park reveal that Spielberg had a few minor misconceptions about what Dinosaurs were capable of.
CavalierX
Somewhere, in an alternate universe, the dinosaurs ATE all those damned uppity little mammals.
Holy the Goalie
It's a beautiful day in my neighborhood, A beautiful day in my neighborhood, Won't you be my, Won't you be my, Won't you be My dinner.
Stretch
In order to liven up the Kingdom of Make-Believe, PBS decided to let Michael Crichton write a couple of scripts.
gm_zero
"Mr. Hammond, after careful consideration, I have decided not to endorse your park."
MTF
T-Rex's tiny arms finally made sense after archaeologists excitedly unveiled the recently discovered "Dino Nursery" in South America.
Gatt
"OK guys, so step 4 is apologizing, so here goes. I'm sorry I ate the entire kingdom. I'm a changed predator now."
Obama08
Citizens of America, I want you to be a part of history in the making. This upcoming 2008 election will be one of the most controversial and epic in our Nation's history. Please make the right choice and vote for the Democratic Party. Only you can pr
agalryunaer
Since no one is taking serious those stupid Youtube's "reptilains shapeshifting videos", reptilians are getting reckless day by day
Leaf
Well, the king's name is King Friday XIII... When you're named after the unluckiest day ever, you've got to expect that some bad shit is going to happen to you at some point!
MrTowel
I always assumed an alternate universe where dinosaurs survived would be alot less completely stupid than this.
CodyCastor
Hi there, boys and girls. Do you like my trolly? Yeah, it's a really nice tro- GET IN MY FUCKING MOUTH YOU LITTLE BASTARD!! STOP SCREAMING! NOBODY CAN HEAR YOU IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD!!!
GeeGee
Lulling kids into a false sense of security around these things is dangerously irresponsible. Despite the cardigan & puppets, he'd gladly rip your kid's head off at the neck.
MrTweek
"They show extraordinary intelligence, even problem-solving intelligence. Especially the big one. We bred eight originally, but when she came in she took over the pride and killed all but two of the others. That one... when she looks at you, you can
garbageman05
The be-all end-all child toy: T-rex for the X-treme kid, cat dressed in a dress for young girls/queers, a magi for your average Christian freak, and a Mr. Rodgers outfit to please those goody two-shoes
docScorpio
After a troubled past Tim the T-Rex has become a born again christian spreading the word through hand puppet shows.
superpoop
Wouldn't it be nice to have friends that won't tell... Who you've been eating in local motels... Won't you be my neighbor?
Nickman
scientists believe if that if they survived modern day dinosaurs would look something like this.
abernathy
This example of the Tyrogersaurus Rex was recovered from the La Brea tar pits neighborhood in almost pristine condition.
stjimmyguy420
The outdated controversary of Mr. Rogers being a former CIA assassin was greatly overshadowed by the recent discovery that he was a fucking dinosaur.
lizzurdking
Pictured: Awsome things that still couldn't have made that "Dinosaurs" TV show any good.
boyeee
Aside from a single statue outside a mall in Richmond, history has mercifully chosen to ignore the brief reign of the vaginosaurs.
Ubergeek
It's just one butterfly! That couldn't change the course of history, right? RIGHT?!?!
SlickityMuffet
They said the new boss was a dinosaur, but I didn't think they meant this.
boyeee
God: Rapture? No, must've been a misprint. I'm pretty sure I said the Raptor was coming.
Leaf
Fred Rogers was one of only two dinosaurs to ever host a T.V. show. The other was Joan Rivers...
Wazula
"If any of you bastards even THINKS the word 'Cloverfield' I'm gonna bite the king's head off while the queen watches."
TastyNuggetz
With Mr. Rex in charge, the neighborhood of make-believe would never be the same again
DarkJackal
After further inspection, the Smithsonian realized that this was not an authentic dinosaur, but a dinosaur with a terrible case of cameltoe.
MrLoco718
I'd like to see that fucking trolley come toot that whistle in front of my castle in the middle night now.
sifumokung
Here at the Creationist Museum we show you indisputable proof that dinosaurs existed at the same time as humans.
TheMoop
Jurassic Park 4 decided to drop the whole 'dinosaurs with guns' concept in favor of something less stupid.
Dolly_Gumdrops
Somehow, Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood: T-Rex Edition looked a lot more kickass on paper.
ScottMon
After carefully sweeping the La Brea tar pits, Scientists were finally able to reconstruct the Dorkosarous.
ArthurSpeakman
"So then I was like 'I wish Barney could be as cool as Mister Rogers.' and then Jeannie blinked, and the rest is natural history."
user111
"Hi, my name is Gilbert, and we are selling candy for a class project. Would you like a King, or his Lass?"
_Phoenix_
Though terrifying to children, the tiny arms made him a suitable replacement for Mr. Rogers.
Leaf
In Canada, they name their basketball team after dinosaurs.... Canada's fuckin' weird...
HelperMonkey
Do you have any idea how hard it is to find sneakers in size 58 quadruple-E?
strlen
After the first Jurassic Park, Dr. Hammond made some improvements to the dinosaurs.
phreesh
Media exec 1 - "Barney's popularity is fading. Mr. Rogers has been dead for years. We need something to bring in the under ten demographic." Media exec 2 - "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" 6 months later - Hello, Mr. Rex
Dragonman
Even in his later years, Barney never quite got over his obsession with children.
Jmx70inNJ
The spawn of Mr. Rodgers and Barney was not as "Kid-Friendly" as people hoped.
getittwistd
Upset to find the letter L loitering outside his office building, Frank took matters into his own hands.
microhendy
"So what's the new marketing angle?" "Um... a big, grey dinosaur in a sweater holding a king & queen?" "Good enough."
Jmx70inNJ
King Friday HAS NOT stopped complaining about the giant Claws in his ass.... Diva.
megaweege66
If you guys don't change your shoes I'm gonna fuck king Friday six ways to Sunday
Brett-Butler
When I asked for a t-bone steak served rare, this was not what I had in mind..
humanity
At the opening of the "Museum of Children's First Nightmares." Not shown, the Polkaroo with a chainsaw.
GUIDO58
BUURRRPPPP!!!!!!!!!! Taste like chicken? NO. UMMM. I got it taste like MR. ROGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LordAndrew
Elementary schools across the nation have banned sugary foods from their campuses. Sadly, this includes humans.
joeyblaze
he'd eat more things and be more entertaining and stuff.... but his shoe lace is untied, and those poor little arms cant reach
getittwistd
I'm sick and tired of working in this no good, stinkin' post office with you short SOB's who can't reach a god dam thing! (Proceeds to bite heads off)
brightash
His shnazzy outfit doesn't change the fact that he'd like to rip your arms off and chomp down on your intestines. I've seen Jurassic Park.
Spirolli
"Today, Boys and Girls, we will learn about anatomy as I rend the flesh from Henrietta Pussycat and King Friday. It will be nice, so won't you join me boys and girls."
getittwistd
Son! Son! Where are you! What have I told you about letting your pet humans run around outside without a leash! (I should get these damn things neutered before they start humping like rabbits)
Diggity46
Most fairy tail experts agree, the sequel to Little Red Riding Hood did not carry the same influence as the original.
agalryunaer
Michael J. Fox can't is not the model for this statue. Because of Parkinson's
Obama08
My fellow Americans, the winds of change are coming. Be sure to register so you can vote in the 2008 election campaign for the Democratic Party. Together, we will unite a divided America. Together, we will work towards a goal. And together, you and I
HelperMonkey
The "Two-for-One" sale at the costume shop got a little kookier than expected.
grafton
First ET gets the guns removed, then you destroy Indy,and now you do THIS to Jurassic Park??? Fuck you Spielberg! Fuck YOU!
Calvin_Crack
That youthful look in his eye slowly dissolved once he saw what highschool was really like for people who looked like him.
antm
"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood - please won't you be mine, please won't you be -- my breakfast? Um, er, I mean neighbor..."
cmt9949
the dinosaur's spy completed his mission to destroy the human race by capturing the royal family
Rimshot
Another beautiful example of symbolism in art: our leaders are nothing but puppets in the feeble hands of the economy (i.e. corporations and banks).
LaLa
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...Won't you be my next meal? -ahem- I mean neighbor?
Dragonman
I think there's a problem with the time machine. We somehow shrunk one of the three wise men and managed to fuse Mr. Rogers with dinousar.
GeeGee
Lulling children into a false sense of security around these things is dangerously irresponsible. Despite the cardigan & puppets, he'd gladly rip your kid's head off at the neck.
Rimshot
'Well, the judge may have ordered me to wear this T-Rex suit in order to scare off kids, but that ain't stopping me from trying the good ol' hand puppet trick!,' stated Henry the child Molester after leaving court.
Hero
Parents just couldn't help but think there was something strange about the staff at the new library.
MTF
T-Rex's tiny arms finally made sense when the great "DinoNursery" was uncovered by baffled archaeologists.
MrTweek
"They show extraordinary intelligence, even problem-solving intelligence. That one... when she looks at you, you can tell she's working things out."
Leaf
"I know that he's big, mean, and vicious, honey... but that's what you want in a lawyer..."
Leaf
Billy the T-Rex was disappointed after being rejected as puppeteer for Mr. Rogers.... you just can't be a good puppeteer with only three fingers on each hand...
CreepyOldMan
With his latest round of plastic surgery, Micheal Jackson thought nobody would recognize his true identity
velocirapture
Today's kids needed a makeover in the land of make-believe to make them pay attention.
velocirapture
It's only a matter of time before the pirates, ninjas, and robots show up...
Leaf
The children's T.V. show "The Country T-Rex and the City T-Rex Adventures" was not as big a hit as people had hoped...
chemtard
"If you thought my VP was a bad, just wait till you meet my new Secretary of Defense!"
Kierkegaard
Even more fearsome than than his ancient carnivorous ancestors was the Pedophilus Rex.
chemtard
"and the fight raged on for a century many lives were claimed, but eventually the champion stood, the rest saw their better: Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater..."
Rickr304
Wow, so if you put Mr. Rogers in a RED sweater, he kinda resembles a dinosaur... You know, maybe those queer eye guys are onto something.
Uranus
Once Simon Rex had kidnapped the king and his kitten, his devious plan was set into motion.
ijustcame
For my next trick, I will turn into the Lochness Monster and devour your Presidential Nominees.
Leaf
Oh, you may eat our royalty now, T-Rex, but we're patient... in millions of years your kind will evolve into chickens.... and then we're going to introduce you to Colonel Sanders..
ion2471
Who is more disturbing? The burger king king, or the dinosaur kid who idolizes the burger king king so much, he carrries a burger king king statuette everywhere he goes?
SlickityMuffet
I have a big head and little arms, I don't think this plan was thought through very well.
Remmy
Rumors about Mr. Roger's service in the military were sadly untrue, but unfortunately for his neighbors...he was hiding something much more horrifying.
ClintBeastwood
You know.....if you stare long enough............it really does look like Mr Rogers..........................................fuckin freaky!
Wazula
By these power's combined I am Captain - wait, where's Heart? Where's Heart guy? Ohhhhhhhh shiiiiiiii-
hillzagold
Is it me, or does it look like that T Rex can move and is about to walk off the platform?
Secret Agent
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the OHHHH SHHHIIITTTT!!!!!
maverick1194
After Dr. Who and his time travel misadventures were finished with the British royalty, the king and queen had a hot new ride, and the streets of 18th century London were never the same...
steeltesseract
Why the fuck does this exist at all.....seriously....what rape victim has taken a turn to Dino Rogers
aeyrhed
Concept art for Jurassic Park IV suggests the writers MAY be running out of ideas
monkeyboy
remember kids eat your vegies and do your homework or ill bite your fucking head off
aeyrhed
welcome to the creationist museum! if you think this guy is absurd just wait till you get inside!
Dragonman
Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld have gone a bit too far with their new Microsoft ads
ZiggyTheZ
Jurassic Park 4 decided to drop the whole 'dinosaurs with guns' concept in favor of something less stupid.
indie114
Not satisfied with their plight against evolution, the Creationist targeted children's programming as well.
indie114
Within seconds of laying eyes on the mock-up, the producer's at PBS fired the creators of the "Barney/Mr. Rogers" cross over concept for gross incompetence.
Dick_Johnson
Somehow, Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood: T-Rex Edition looked a lot more kickass on paper.
knuckle
Suddenly the disappearances in the Land of Make Believe started to make a bit more sense.
Truthiness
"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, and some barbecue sauce and I shall eat them!"
Damion
I'm just a human...you know...buying human things...like yo...I-I mean US humans do...
Bonehead-XL
Finally taking off the rubber mask, Mr. Rodgers shows that everything is not so good in his neighborhood.
wizzPOPPA
mr rogers is reincarnated as a t-rex....over throws king friday and steals his bitch in the process
frenchlauan
Helen Clark stood outside the Fiji Embassy in New Zea land with her Petition Board and her 2 favorite Toys
deathmate
After the Jurassic Parc fad died down, Rex had to find a new line of work. At least, now he has dental insurance.
GummyTarzan
Hi! My name's Terry. Can I interest you in some Amway decorative soap cozies?
baingoe
Finally the never before seen puppeteer Rex Tyrannos from Neighborhood of Make-Believe reveals his self with King Friday and Henrietta Pussy Cat
Splosion
No, Officer, I was not aware that anal penetration is considered a public display of affection.
scabbalicious
By stepping on one butterfly during his trip back in time, Billy changed history for everyone.
Cleverusername
King Friday XIII's reign ended during the Great Dinosaur Wars that rocked the Neighborhood of Make-Believe.
MONGO1971
I always knew he was gay. He insisted on shoving his thumb up my ass everytime we went some where. I never said anything. But my daughter, the princess, actually learned to "enjoy" it.
MONGO1971
It wasn't until years later that I found out it was all a lie. If I want to hitch a ride with a T-Rex, It is NOT mandatory that he shove his thumb up my ass.
hey_mavis
Don't push me cause im close to the edge, I'm trying not to loose my head heh heh heh heh......
livmight
"My what big teeth you have Mr. Rogers." "All the better to smile my dear" "My what big feet you have Mr. Rogers" "All the better to stomp on all your childhood memories!!!"
mijp
'Damn it! We should never have left Japan. This is Godzilla all over again!' 'Shh king. Shh.'
EvilJerry
"Unlike the real Mr.Rogers, I just want to eat your children; not have sex with them."
Truthiness
Other side of the black hole theory #47 - dinosaurs roam the earth collecting human fossils.
Doc_Caligari
I won the Junior Achiever Award AND I play with dolls. Even though I'm a T. Rex my dinosaur ass is still getting kicked on the way home from school. Again.
mikelaz14
maybe if i pwn enough noobs i can raise my server level from three to one hu hu hu
colby_park
Seriously, I'm just an normal salesman...could you just take a few steps closer...that's it...
AnTEater
New kind ofporn mixing dna from pedophiles and dinosaurs and breast feeding puppets...mmm mmm good
Shiggaaay
People of Tokyo due to the number of recent safety cone deaths... we have begun to take precautions.
schneidremarks
Despite the commercial recall of "Zen Buddist Monk Suppositories", the government needed signs to warn the people...before it was too late.
rjsesq513
plaque reads "what the fuck are you doing reading this didnt you see the fucking ball"
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