CavalierX
Sometimes, "Virgin Records" is more of a descriptive term than a record label.
jmble
While everyone is being distracted by the stormtrooper on lead vocals, a young Marty McFly (far left) waits nervously for his parents to kiss as his right hand begins to vanish from existance.
roktober
"So they said 'Storm Trooper.' And I was like 'Storm Troop Her? I hardly know her!' Thank you. I'll be here all night."
gm_zero
"Can I have your attention please!? Uh.. There's a blue X-Wing double parked in a handicapped space out front.... also, your lights are on."
Leaf
"I saw the little runt sitting there on a log I asked him his name And in a raspy voice he said Yoda Y-O-D-A, Yoda, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda"
paranoidpyro
After several miserable failure, the Empire realized it needed a new method to draw people to the dark side.
Wasteroo
A few minutes of uncomfortable silence followed after their guitarist realized it was impossible to play a guitar when your right arm is incorporeal.
Druz
This is totally unrealistic. That stormtrooper should be wearing his indoor armor, not his forest armor.
DrDank
Thankfully, 20th Century Fox finally cut off George Lucas after seeing early plans for Star Wars Episode VII: Electric Boogaloo
thefallguy
After the destruction of the Death Star the empire was in disarray. Carl then pursued other interest.
HelperMonkey
Steve's Uncle's warehouse. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villiany.
djseifer
No, we won't play the goddamn Cantina song. Yes, we can play "Wind Beneath My Wings."
getittwistd
At "Battle of the Bands: Death Star", a Rancor is released from the door behind the stage if the band doesn't perform well.
ShawnStu
OK, attention everyone..Attention. We have a speeder bike, tag number XLS700, you left your repulserlift engine on. Repeat XLS700 your repulserlift engine was left on.
donspaghetti
Take me down to Coruscant City where the grass is unseen and the girls are pretty! Ooh won't you please take me home!?
HelperMonkey
Years from now, these guys will look back on this time in their lives, laugh nervously and desperately try to change the subject.
gm_zero
"Ladies and Gentelman, I'd like your attention. I've been with this perfect girl Laurie for 2 weeks now.. and.. aww hell.. Laurie, will you marry me?" "I don't think the word 'no' is sufficient enough in this situation."
harleyquinn86
With the activation of the Hadron Collider, the president couldn't think of a better band to sing "It's the End of the World as We Know It"
rustytrombone
The Stormtroopers of Death were not as intimidating live as they were on record.
geniuswaitress
The only thing worse than the shitty band they got for the prom was Principal Finkle's attempt to be "cool."
getittwistd
George Lucas (pictured above, center) enjoying an off day at Skywalker Ranch. [Reported by Diggers as Possibly Inaccurate]
Leaf
George Lucas produces an episode of "Don't Forget the Lyrics" which is subtitled "Please forget the Prequels".
Bosephus5000
The last thing Johnny remembered before passing out was flipping Darth Vader the finger and his arm exploding in a bloody mist.
walloftext
Few people of today remember just how bad CBS's Star Wars Holiday Special broadcast from 1978 really was.
Leaf
The band "Star Wars Six" became much more popular after dropping Jar Jar Binks and continuing with just five members...
Doc_Caligari
Thank you, Tatooine! You've been wonderful! Now...WHERE ARE THE DROIDS I'M LOOKING FOR?! *THUNDEROUS CHEERS* Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah!
Leaf
"Uhhhhh.... heh.. well, guys.. That was good.. but... well, to be honest, when you told me that one of your members dresses up as a Star Wars character, I was picturing the bass player in a gold bikini..."
DesertEagle
OK everyone, Lord Vader's coming. Someone get the lights. Make sure to yell "Surprise" as loud as you can, and then we'll bring out the ice cream cake.
melissa
"Merry Christmas Everyone! are you ready to jam for the Christmas party?" "Wait... are you telling me this... isn't... Halloween...?"
TulsaZ79
Come on guys let's get serious here with rehearsal. If we don't win the Battle of the Bands, Lord Vader will be pissed.
ZMannZilla
Slash fiction is getting really weird. I just read this one about Star Wars and The Breakfast Club...
BuckleAU
Finally, Madonna picks a costume for her sticky & sweet tour that we can look at for more than 10 seconds without our eyeballs bleeding...
ZenParadigm
Tramploines: 100 Dollars Christmas Lights: 25 Dollars Stormtrooper Costume: 175 Dollars Having internet proof of why you are 40 years old and still a virgin: Priceless Somethings money can't buy, for everything else, there are hookers.
donspaghetti
Hello everybody at the 10th annual 501st legion office party! ARE YOU READY TO ROCK!?
pambeesly
"... I'm sorry guys! I tried to go with your matching outfit scheme, but this was all I could find!"
Dinsdale
Can the owner of a grey Tie Fighter with the registration number VDRKIXAZ please move your vehicle from the handicap parking spot.
CavalierX
Hearing that Warcraft has an in-game band called The Level 70 Tauren Chieftans," fans of Star Wars Galaxies rushed out to create their own competing rock band. This is their story.
TJL
Honey? It's me. Listen, I found the best band for the reception! Trust me, this is gonna be great!
CavalierX
Sadly, their big break finally came on the very day the Rebels were to blow up the Death Star.
Kierkegaard
They had it all -- talent, a strong local fan base, and a dozen or so chart worthy songs. But in the end they were just one gimmick short of fame.
billsindabowl05
If this was a real photo those pathetic humans would be laser scrap. -Cole-
schnook
Will the owner of a suspiciously British protocol droid and some kind of beeping trash can please report to guest services?
grafton
George George, George of the jungle Watch out for that tree. There wasn't a dry eye in the house
OlDirtyBen
The audience looked on in stunned silence... Bitch was wearing sneakers with a dress.
chemtard
Awh crap! no one told me we were all wearing Chuck Taylors... You guys are assholes.
AntOnion
I know we said we'd take requests, but we're not doing The Trooper. EVER AGAIN.
MikeDOttavio
This is the first band ever where it is less embarrassing to sleep with the drummer then the front man
izzyboy
Yeah, my armor is real imperial storm trooper armor... I dare you to come punch me in the cod piece you little smart ass.... No YOUR band sucks.... Yeah well I can buy beer, how about that you little fuck! You won't be able to for another 14 years!
bcanders
Attention, attention (is this thing on). This is an unauthorized performance. Everyone clear out or you will be blasted.
pambeesly
I'm not a Star Wars nerd, so anything I come up with is not going to be nearly as funny. [Arm is subsequently chopped off with light saber.] Damn.
harleyquinn86
On the next Behind the Music we give you a look at what the Storm Troopers are up to since the fall of the Death Star...
pambeesly
"I gotta tell you guys, America really is the land of opportunity. I was going NOWHERE fast on that Death Star."
fallenchipmunk
To the owner of a gray Imperial Deathstar....you're space station is being attacked.
pambeesly
"...and the VMA goes to.... Britney Spears! ...goddamnit... that bitch is everywhere!"
Bosephus5000
Come at 9:00 for the the traditional Force service, or 10:30 for the contemporary service.
Bell110
It was at this moment that Dan, the drummer, realized he shouldn't have dropped out of medical school.
getittwistd
The Alderaan's, a Star-Wars themed Christian Rock Group, are known for their kickin' vocals and devout faith.
megaweege66
After the destruction of the Death Star, many stormtroopers found themselves with even shittier jobs.
megaweege66
The Empires pension plan was so poor, this stormtrooper had to take a night job hosting Kareoke.
manbat
"Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!" was growing all too predictable by the 4th season.
Maverick
Jim:Why don't I hear anything? Will:There's no power going to the speakers Jim: Why not? Will: All auxiliary power was diverted when they set the mic lights from stun to ROCK! Will: All the power is being diverted from shi
Rex-Jester
My regular back up band got called back to the hive. This is my back up, back up band.
Rex-Jester
Nothing goes with a late night, warehouse rave hangover than electro, xmas lights, a couple of trampolines and a stormtrooper.
Fabbyfubz
Find a decent job has been hard ever since the Death Star exploded. Especially since putting "Worked for the Dark Lord of the Sith" doesn't look good on resumes.
GOOSE09
I though I told you to find an upbeat and cheerful band for the Hadron Collider ceremony and this is what you found?
Jenna_Tullwortz
Sadly, the "Star Wars Rocks" tour turned out to be nothing like the poster they used to promote it.
evilspwn
Vader couldnt bring himself to let Luke know he was his father after seeing the kid's sneakers. The force clearly wasnt there.
blackadderz
After the destruction of the Death Star and his humiliating years in an Ewok prison, Trooper 8675309 decided to pursue his dreams of being a jazz fusion singer.
TheCrackFox11
"Could the owner of a green, 1978 Tie Bomber please move your vehicle as you are blocking the entrance.... green 1978 Tie Bomber... thanks"
montanaguy
Where are they Now??? We recently caught up with bob johnson, former imperial stormtrooper turned caberet singer. Q:Bob how did you end up singing in cabarets and dive bars?? A: After getting my imperial ass handed to me by those fuzzy ewok bastar
elsexorcisto
Later, trooper #427 would come to regret his earlier statement "Guard the exhaust port? fuck that, they wouldn't try that AGAIN, would they? Let's ROCK!"
tonyro19
After pawning the mini-tramps and the Stormtrooper costume to repay their one and only gig, The Perpetual Virgins disbanded and faded back into wedding band folklore.
dandaman
The fabled Star Wars Christmas Special was even worse than I thought. ...Though to Lucas' credit, the SFX on lighting is still amazing.
Mr_K_Twig
Sure, the Scooter Stormtrooper was cool and all, but in the next song Gertrude would totally steal his thunder with her trampoline routine.
JPN366
The sad part, there are two, possibly three chicks in this band. Don't they have something better to do than hang out with this motherfucker?
Fkelleghan
Who's the more foolish: The fool, or the fools who actually paid the cover charge?
Fkelleghan
Not pictured: Guy in line outside telling his friend, "Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don't care what you hear!"
skyman299
What a nerd, he's wearing the standard storm trooper gauntlets with the scout trooper helmet.
Fkelleghan
"I got some old debts I've got to pay off with this amateur band stuff. Even if I didn't, you don't think I'd be fool enough to stick around here, do you? Why don't you come with us? You're pretty good in a band. We could use you."
sonnyblack
"the butch, the ballerina, the trooper, the fag, and the wanna be prom queen" playing at your local drive in soon
Indigo_Dingo
A site you'll never see anywhere but Craked.com - actual girls coming within a mile of someone in a Stormtroope costume.
nickotien
My Dingaling! My Dingaling! I want you to play with My...ahhh hell this is a Christian Rock show?
Joobles
After the Empire fell, many Stormtroopers were laid off and had to find other ways to make a living.
getittwistd
At the Canadian Music Festival, John reprised his Star Wars version of Rhianna's 'You can stand under my Umbrella, ella, ella, Eh Eh Eh Eh!'
thefallguy
Not since Weird Al has parody music been so popular. The band hit their stride remaking "Video Killed The Radio Star" with "Rebel Force Killed The Emperor's Death Star".
MrTweek
"Vaaaader... Ex Jedi Knight in shiny armor, and I love you. You have made me what I am and I am yours. My love, so many ways I want to say the force is with you. Let me hold you in my arms forever more."
getittwistd
Frank though that since their lead singer had procured a new costume in an attempt to save the band, he would would try out a new hat and tie combo while playing the drums.
Truthiness
Boy, Scott Stapp really took a dive when his career went down the toilet, didnt he?
getittwistd
Hopefully the door doesn't open, as they will most likely be exposed to a vacuum almost immediately. Oh wait, this isn't what a carbo bay looks like on the Death Star? ...wierd...
Leaf
"Sorry guys, we have to cut band practice short - see that door behind you? Han Solo and those frickin' rebels are trying about to break through it."
Hatetheory
Much to the fans discontent, the new Rock Band spin-off, "Star Wars: Lets Rock!" Isn't as much of a hit as its more famous counter part.
getittwistd
Known for the awesome christmas light displays and original costumes, The Flamers would go down in histroy as one of the greatest bands to have ever lived.
izzyboy
No really, just come on up here and punch me in the crotch. This is real imperial storm trooper armor. It comes with invincible cod piece. Hell, do a jump kick off the trampoline into my balls. I dare you.
Salman
This just goes to show you that Star Wars will NEVER be trapped in the '70s! Behold, RockBand: Storm Trooper Edition!
McIntyre
The never-before seen, behind the scenes look at Kiss' beginnings was very eye opening.
myunitisz
The band thought having a Storm Trooper as lead singer would make them famous....
HelperMonkey
This is what happens when the clerks from Hot Topic and Spencer's Gifts decide to join the Battle of the Bands.
agalryunaer
Those are not the droids we're looking for baaaby no, n,o not the droids we are looking for babyyyy
SlickityMuffet
After the destruction of the death star, finding work has been difficult for the storm troopers.
microhendy
You should see how out of place the actual lead-singer looks on the Deathstar
getittwistd
In an effort to create hype about the new video game "Star Wars: The Force Unleashed", the developers have decided to host a release party of their own. Unfortunately, the lack of friends or social skills prevented it from reaching it's full potenti
BuckleAU
Venues got smaller and gigs got edgier after the Dixie Chicks bashed President Bush...
microhendy
A stormtrooper was an obvious choice seeing as the bottles would fly towards centre-stage
getittwistd
After downing 2 20 oz. Aquafina's, Arty was regretting the choice to wear the full suit instead of the helmet only he had originally planned on.
megaweege66
I wanna sing you a song about I man I love....a man who taught me everything I know about the dark side........VVVVVVVVVaaaaderrrrrrr........
Sywin
Lucas in the editing room: "I want to replace the background with the forests of Endor. Let's remove all the people and instruments out of the scene and add Ewoks. Always Ewoks."
antm
Those girls need to work on their Robert-Plant-background-girl impressions -- otherwise, the concert won't make any sense....
sherbination
with his acting career dwindling after return of the jedi; and lucas not asking him back for the phantom menace, Robert decided to act out the only way he knew how...by reforming his old glam rock band and playing his high school prom...with a VENGEA
megaweege66
Hey man I used to have it all....a fleet of speeder bikes, hundreds of clones at my command....fuck this I don't need you people....I'm out this motherfucker!!
Doc_Caligari
One for the money, two for the bitches Three to get ready, and four to check the hitches On my dewback, 12-foot gray to be exact With troopers on my side, and troopers on my back
baleeted
Many stormtroopers tried art therapy to cope with the destruction of the second Death Star. That's why Lando learned to play the drums...
charokee
"We're the Spaceballs! Watch out, 'cause we're the Spaceballs We're the masters of space Hey, don't mess around with the Spaceballs. "
megaweege66
.....no but seriously folks...Darth Vaders breath is so bad...its called tic tacs Darth they're not expensive...
charokee
Hey, after the show you can be Princess Leia and I'll show you my Darth Vader helmet
CaptinJohn
For our next number we'd like to do a song by Master Yoda it's called Lovin I am You Yess
Cap
After the destruction of the Death Star, the death of Darth Vader and the fall of the Empire, Stormtrooper Joe figured joining up with hard rock band Great White was a great way to start over.
charokee
The Death Star Christmas party budget had to be cut after that whole x-wing bombing incident
Kristoff45
First verse of the song, "I live in my parents basement! I've never loved a women! I made this while crying and looking at star wars porn! I AM A NERD!!!!!!!"
charokee
Deathstar Idol didn't get the ratings that most expected, but Emporer Cowell and Paula Vader were able to carry the show for an amazing 2 seasons
getittwistd
Due to lack of funding, the Death Star 3 designers decided to used Garage Doors as opposed to force fields in the cargo bays. Also, they decided to forgo hiring Puffy to record the elevator music, and instead, formed their own band.
chemtard
Elwood's return in "Blues Brothers 3: Mos Eisley Cantina" never managed to land the band a gig; sadly all the death star orphans died.
SlothLoveChunk
"Whatis the DEAL with these Ewoks!? I mean they are so small yet SO vigilant!"
See,Foo,Gee
Chasing incestuous Rebel Scum across the galaxy kept Steve from what his true dream: creating a Fall Out Boy cover band.
Kingofmars
It seemed like a cool concept, but the lead singer just mostly stood there singing "Dun Dun Dun Dun, dun DUN Dun, dun DUN Dun." The audiences did not respond well and their fame slowly faded into obscurity. The Guitarist went on to form "Storm Troope
Ish
"Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!" was growing all too predictable by the 4th season.
devourerofsouls
jim thought that he could follow his dream after the dissolution of the galactic empire, but somewhere between the trampoline gogo dancers, the aquafina deal, and the ill-fated "unmasked" tour, the music industry somehow lost its lustre. shortly aft
marlonsroad
The name of the song is "cjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj-cjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj-cjjjjjjjjjjjjjj-" and is dediacted to Darth Vader
CaptinJohn
Will the owner of the green Ti-fighter please report to the information stand, you left your lights on and don't take the brown acid man it's a bummer
manbat
After the fall of the Sith and the Endor Imperial Guard, an out-of-work Hector turned his attention to his passion; gay-ass punk cover bands.
Yofcker
Susie waits for the grand finally the FLAMING HOOP OF DEATH!!!!!!!!!!! As she attempts to jump from trampoline to trampoline
Rex-Jester
Dude, how do you get Stormtrooper out of Stonehenge? They sound nothing alike!
cw22233
We're looking for a little droid, about this high, sort of white and blue, answers to the name R2...
Tezzle
If they want people to come to their shows, those girls on the trampolines better dress skimpier.
madman1
People thought the singer was pointless, seeing as how the theme of the Tatooine bar had no words in it.
Mutha
The Christmas lights add just the touch of class that this band needed. Finis! Don't change a thing.
NobodyNowhere
After being rejected from the storm trooper army, Bill persued his dreams of being a rockstar with little success.
agalryunaer
What??? You telling me Star Wars is no longer hot with chicks? get out of here!
GrandMoffWow
TH-598's Hope of winning Empire Idol was destroyed when he realized his mic was unplugged
Calvin_Crack
Jared was a little more cautious after taking a beer bottle to the face last friday.
Cap
Things got a little awkward at the Jefferson Highback-to-school dance when the Stormtrooper started asking about droids and then started telling everyone to move along...move along.
SOnjeee
"mmmm.....mmmmmm......mmmmmm.......mmmmmmm.......mmmmmmm....OOOONnnnnnnccccceeeee there was this Storm Trooper singin......mmmmm.....mmmmmm....mmmmmm......" "MMMMM...MMMMM...MMMM" by Storm Troop Dummies
Captainasshole
Star Wars episode VII the search for more money, was looking to be the best yet.
Fkelleghan
Dad to Mom, watching their son and friends: "This is not gonna work." Mom: "Why didn't you say so before?" Dad: "I *did* say so before."
ciej613
first storm troopers anonymous meeting "my names steve and i have a problem" the dark side is like crack you know.....
imnotthatstupid
Elementary school teacher, "And this is the Nerd's section of the prom, This is where you go if you don't eat your vegetables, kids" she then continues through tour of high school
uzielis
The weather report does not concern me, Admiral. I want that open-air gig, not excuses.
mexgeo86
Thank you very much Mr. Roboto, for helping out after the collapse of the Death Star...we truly are Rock Band Heroes.
madmanduck
Sorry, folks! Today's show has been cancelled due to a lack of Elves and Dwarves
forrestgump
The great Milli Vanilli comeback! Now he can lipsynch and no one can prove it!
YostfaceKillah
In spite of this, or maybe because of this, I'd totally nail both of them.
Frootata
Yea, we got another piece here we'd like to play for you tonight titled "My lo- oops, there goes my hand.
Frootata
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?! That guy's hand is totally disappearing from existence as we know it!
dern
Alright, let's go out with something really hot today folks, a big hit outta 77. Oh, Star Waaarss...those near and far waaars...give me those Star Waaarss...don't let them end! Hey!
BloodyAngel
After the fall of the Empire, trooper ST-427 found meager employment as the lead singer of the punk band "Sith Shit".
wag117
What's more surprising, the storm trooper singing, or that there are actual girls there with him?
redshift
Santa's new suit makes him look three times thinner! It's the Stormtrooper Slimdown Suit! Yours for only 30$
Rickr304
They wanted to test the theory that all you had to do was be in a band and you'll get sex no matter what. Results were inconclusive, as they were having too much sex to write an official conclusion.
JPN366
You know him as "Joe the Policeman" from the "What's Going Down" episode of "That's My Mama."
lostprophet94
Those storm troopers gotta do something to pay the bills between star wars.
TheBeard
and then there was this time on the Death star... well anyway, lets just say that was a mess i woundnt want to get into again... hahaha... but seriously have you guys seen two guys and a wookie?
Rex-Jester
"Is she really going out with him? Is she really gonna take him home tonight??"
klavier
Mtv's new reality music show project is the new sensation between young people that haven't heard of Pink Floyd
AnAsshole
"Sorry to interrupt your show, but you should all know that you're wearing non-Imperial standard clothing, and I've got a squad of guys out back ready to storm in and kill you all for it. Seriously, stop this rebellious crap. It's not worth it."
FoulGonzo
It's really unfortunate that Karen felt the need to hide her womanly cycle from the other band members by being an emperial storm trooper with Wings for Extra Absorbancy
somedumbskank
As pictured, left to right: Virgin, Virgin, Virgin, Child Molester, Obligatory Trampoline Girl.
bstiff
With the recent praise of Metallica's new album, Scott Ian and Billy Milano were quite surprised that their reunion tour with Storm Troopers of Death wasnt nearly as successful.
NewForkinJersey
Desperate for any source of income, senior bankers pimp out junior stock brokers as traffic cones.
killerinu
Meanwhile on the set of Jurassic Park, Fred Rogers attempts to swallow a man whole.
-Anna-
Absolutely no laying eggs on parking cones between the hours of 9am to 2pm (Weekdays only)
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