Other Craptions

After Sesame Street was canceled, Big Bird lost everything. There was only one way out

Nothing says luxury like a giant statue of Big Bird's retarded cousin. On a more depressing note, this is in my hometown.

Never buying from him again, Bastard gave me an expired coupon.

You know, I hear the place down the road gives you a pretty good tit pawn.

When Luxury Auto Sales' mascot decided to commit suicide, profits soared.

Buy a car or this thing will haunt you!

That is so fake, you can see the strings

I dare you to jump....or are you chicken?

You should see the lame-ass mascot at Budget Auto Sales.

The second coming of Christ was a little...different than expected

Look, he's making a "W" with his arms. Give him a minute and he'll eventually cycle through the "T" and the "F".

When his auto sales went bankrupt, Henry took his own life. Onlookers ruled the suicide finger licking good.

I had a great joke about the two tits in the background, but then i realized we were supposed to be looking at the bird. Now I got nothing.

Isn't a bird above a luxury car a bad thing?

"If you need a car come on down to tit bucks titpawn where we always give you the bird."

Not Pictured: the giant deep fryer below.

theres a store that is a tit pawn?

Since the Tit Pawn down the road always got the majority the business, they had to think of a good sales pitch; but a car, see Sammy's giant [chicken] breast.

The American economy has gotten so bad, even Big Bird is forced to get a second job...

In New Jersey, nothing -- and I mean NOTHING -- says "luxury auto sales" like a giant inflatable chicken.

Forget the cock here, down the street you get tit fucks and tit pawn.

"Luxury" in the title is pretty redundant, with the giant chicken and all. It screams high quality cars sold at an honest price.

IM GONNA JUMP! I SWEAR I WILL!" "dude, your a giant chicken. im pretty sure you can fly." "yeah, well, cluck you."

Nothing says luxury like a big terrifying, paper mache bird.

I wish I were kidding but this thing's catchphrase is, (racist urban accent) "No Credit, No Problem! Come on down and see me brother. Cause I got it!" repeatedly.

Don't shop at the Luxury Auto...they have a huge cock working for them.

-"And how is scaring the shit out of children going to sell cars, Tom?" -"Hey! Who's the one enrolled in Business 101 at Coast Community College? That's right! Me, baby! Now go get the rest of those fucking chickens."

When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call?

After hitting rock bottom and pawning his tit. Chicken despaired: "I'm finished. What use is a chicken without its breast?"

Where Are They Now: Sesame Street Big Bird chose to end is life in 2008, when a lagging economy drove his Tit Pawning business into financial ruin.

On first glance the sign below the chicken says "TIT FUCKS". If it does, chicken or no chicken, they have my business.

WE DONT HAVE GOOD PRICES, BUT WE DO HAVE A GIANT CHICKEN!

The merger with Frank's Fried Chicken did not provide Luxury Auto Sales the corporate synergies it expected.

So this is where Howard the duck ended up!

"Woo-hoo, I get to mascot the Luxury Auto Sales, I'm so happy,...yay... ...what do you mean 'less irony, more gusto'?"

Q: Why Did the Chicken cross the road? A: To pawn some tits

Placing Reggie the giant chicken over the carport of Luxury Auto Sales was the best moneymaking scheme the car wash ever came up with.

"I swear, you should have SEEN the size of the bird that shit on my new car..."

After a while, the wacky inflatable arm flailing tube man just gets old.

They used to keep him at parking lot level, but it seems no one could resist kicking him in the nuggets.

"So come on down to Luxury Auto Sales... our cars are CLUCKING cheap!"

"I keep telling you guys a bird has nothing to do with selling cars! Now can I get my Bottle and oversize diaper and pass out fliers in the street and finally do my job with some dignity."

I'm John McCain and I approve of this chicken.

Does that sign in the back there say "Tittyfucks"?!?

Most states have lemon laws. This place has the rotten egg law.

Five years and three liposuctions later, Big Bird is still regretting leaving Sesame Street for the car dealer's promise of a "higher position."

The giant mutated canarys desperate cry for attention was sadly mistaken for an auto advertising ploy.

The cars are cheap, but their bucket seats are the KFC variety.

"Aww no way buddy, I dont take coupons from giant chickens....not after last time..."