gm_zero
"Because he's the hero that Luxury Auto Sales deserves, but not the one it needs right now... and so we'll hunt him... because he can take it... because he's not a hero... he's a silent guardian, a watchful protector... a Dark Knight..."
dudaruma
After Sesame Street was canceled, Big Bird lost everything. There was only one way out
MrTweek
Nothing says luxury like a giant statue of Big Bird's retarded cousin. On a more depressing note, this is in my hometown.
Niff_Stipples
You know, I hear the place down the road gives you a pretty good tit pawn.
geniuswaitress
Look, he's making a "W" with his arms. Give him a minute and he'll eventually cycle through the "T" and the "F".
Ish
When his auto sales went bankrupt, Henry took his own life. Onlookers ruled the suicide finger licking good.
harveystewart
I had a great joke about the two tits in the background, but then i realized we were supposed to be looking at the bird. Now I got nothing.
Eyeofthetornado
"If you need a car come on down to tit bucks titpawn where we always give you the bird."
ZenParadigm
The American economy has gotten so bad, even Big Bird is forced to get a second job...
Kierkegaard
In New Jersey, nothing -- and I mean NOTHING -- says "luxury auto sales" like a giant inflatable chicken.
AwsmEmily
Since the Tit Pawn down the road always got the majority the business, they had to think of a good sales pitch; but a car, see Sammy's giant [chicken] breast.
chrisman
IM GONNA JUMP! I SWEAR I WILL!" "dude, your a giant chicken. im pretty sure you can fly." "yeah, well, cluck you."
MrTweek
I wish I were kidding but this thing's catchphrase is, (racist urban accent) "No Credit, No Problem! Come on down and see me brother. Cause I got it!" repeatedly.
nickotien
"Luxury" in the title is pretty redundant, with the giant chicken and all. It screams high quality cars sold at an honest price.
nosayso
Where Are They Now: Sesame Street Big Bird chose to end is life in 2008, when a lagging economy drove his Tit Pawning business into financial ruin.
Gordie
After hitting rock bottom and pawning his tit. Chicken despaired: "I'm finished. What use is a chicken without its breast?"
Matt
-"And how is scaring the shit out of children going to sell cars, Tom?" -"Hey! Who's the one enrolled in Business 101 at Coast Community College? That's right! Me, baby! Now go get the rest of those fucking chickens."
whiskeyandink
Placing Reggie the giant chicken over the carport of Luxury Auto Sales was the best moneymaking scheme the car wash ever came up with.
spoo
On first glance the sign below the chicken says "TIT FUCKS". If it does, chicken or no chicken, they have my business.
Mr_K_Twig
"Woo-hoo, I get to mascot the Luxury Auto Sales, I'm so happy,...yay... ...what do you mean 'less irony, more gusto'?"
luckyluciano
The merger with Frank's Fried Chicken did not provide Luxury Auto Sales the corporate synergies it expected.
carpe-noctem12
NOOO BIG BIRD! DON'T JUMP! THINK OF THE CHILDREN. YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE F... WHAT?! They changed the show to "Sesame *Park*?" You're fucking joking. Never mind. As you were.
mrpeabody
"FOR ALL YOUR AUTO NEEDS! CACAW!!! CACAW!!! LUXURY AUTO SALES! CACAW!!! CACAW!!!"
DrDank
The "luxury" in the name refers to the privilege of not having Big Bird take a dump on your windshield.
darthbogus
Luxury Auto Sales. If you find a better deal we will have this giant bird rip your fucking face off!
geniuswaitress
Modeling the hottest mascot fashion of fringed capri-length jumpsuits is the Luxury Auto Sales chicken. Give it up, folks.
Zoon
The fat guy with green pants and balls for a chin should be walking out any minute now...
FinalGamer
Starbucks got heavy with the Titlebucks chicken, by stuffing his propped up corpse nearby. Everyone else thought it was just a prop.
soxfan01
Yeah, i see that kind of thing all the time. How many time have you seen a title bucks that sells tit pawns?
randylivestock
"C'mon guys, if we answer the Demon-Chicken's riddle correctly, we can go into the Tit Pawn!"
thevitalone
Five years and three liposuctions later, Big Bird is still regretting leaving Sesame Street for the car dealer's promise of a "higher position."
docScorpio
"I keep telling you guys a bird has nothing to do with selling cars! Now can I get my Bottle and oversize diaper and pass out fliers in the street and finally do my job with some dignity."
CavalierX
"I swear, you should have SEEN the size of the bird that shit on my new car..."
geniuswaitress
They used to keep him at parking lot level, but it seems no one could resist kicking him in the nuggets.
tomrichugpeltho
The giant mutated canarys desperate cry for attention was sadly mistaken for an auto advertising ploy.
juicymale
"Aww no way buddy, I dont take coupons from giant chickens....not after last time..."
Stardog
Before working at Sesame Street, Big Bird spent his day working at Luxury Auto Sales and his nights at the Tit Pawn, oddly enough, it was at the Tit Pawn that Big Bird met the producers of Sesame Street
DrTom
On only his second day on the job, John Gotti, Jr. realized he had made a terrible mistake entering the Witness Protection Program.
iantendo
Unfortunately Vladimir discovered that depsite having a Medical Diploma from the University of Bratislavia this was the only job he was qualified to do in the States.
iantendo
thanks to a mix up at the temp agency somewhere outside a KFC there's a pushy guy with slick backed hair wearing a shirt and tie with a leather jacket selling bargain buckets.
Fkelleghan
"When your Luxury Auto absolutely, positively has to get there overnight ... Super-Duck will get it there."
Calvin_Crack
Yeah, it's a guy in a chicken suit about to jump off an auto dealership roof, but I've beat off to less.
Calvin_Crack
All those votes for the shitty batman craption?! That craption proves the same theory as the continued success of the "_____ Movie" franchise where all they do is insert a lame pop culture reference and retards eat it up
DangerousShake
I'm not even going to ask how the "TIT _UCK$" sign in the background was suppose to be...
fightgar14
And so Big B-...Okay there's no way any of these are going to beat the Dark Knight caption!
RNbulletsponge
Maybe it's not a large bird on a Luxury Auto Sales roof. Maybe it's an even bigger bird on the hill behind him.
ss61
Ater a series of low ratings, seseme street's big bird contemplates suicide, brought to you by the letter 's'
Truthiness
The Luxury Auto Sales Co. was forced to find a new mascot in the Titbucks bird when the crazy flapping arms guy quit.
Milkman
"I know the feathers and the fact that I work at a gas station isn't very impressive, but trust me, it's THIS BIG."
Cmajor
Ever since the switch from wood to plastic, duck decoys have just become increasingly surreal.
crysta1
Al's toy barn was forced to expand into the motor trade after all the toys walked out en mass
MetalFacedSmith
Like big chicks? RENT "HOT HEN NIGHT 8: GOBBLE GOBBLE" from your local Tit Pawn store now!
docScorpio
After a crazy drinking binge Eric had no idea why he woke up in a chicken costume on top of a car dealership.
Vozpit
Fortunately, the San Diego Chicken was able to start his off-season job of selling cars at the beginning of October, every year!
iantendo
"I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a used car chicken mascot, which is what I am..."
thevitalone
Ever since the lawyer thing didn't work out, Birdman has lost all hope of leading a normal life. He has accepted that he's a freak, and he wants the world to know.
iantendo
Once Jesse Jackson found out about "Rasta Chicken", Luxury Auto Sales found themselves dealing with a class action lawsuit
iantendo
Holy shit, a Luxury Auto Sales, Titlebucks AND Tit Pawn on the same street... God Bless Capitalism!
JonnyB
After the all you can eat buffet at the local strip club "Tit Pawn" Clucker pondered who's day he would ruin first.
CreepyOldMan
Damn it Joe! We wanted a luxury auto quail! Not a luxury auto duck-chicken thing! How else will people remember what we sell?!
user07
Though Iron Man's first armour was not a huge success, It finally found a home here. Through Ebay and agressive bidding worthy of a super-hero.
PRDN
Tweety was trying so hard to regain popularity by playing a cameo role in 'Transformers'. Unfortunately Michael Bay then decided to delete this scene.
Mailliwmal
After being released from prison only to discover his old job at the Cluck 'n Bell was taken, Sam stood atop the auto dealership, trying to relive his glory days while contemplating the sweet release of death.
dandaman
I see Starbucks lost the rights to "Star" to NASA. Now they've chosen a new name from the "blank Works document" field.
Anonimoose
This is what happened after Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man and The Chicken joined forces.
Damion
"I AM BYRIDLOX!! CONQUEROR OF WORLDS!!! I HAVE COME TO...h-hey...w-why are you all laughing?"
Wasteroo
I would love to take place in today's Craption contest, but I don't think it's possible to top gm_zero's entry.
Calvin_Crack
Cluxury Auto Sales' mascot only confused customers once their "C" was stolen. In other news: a crack head recently tried to pawn a huge "C" in exchange for a titty fuck.
stevendolinsky
Tit sucks/ Tit Pawn....where you can always sell your tits.Or get them sucked...here at Tit-le Bucks!
djinannetoniks
the luxury auto dealer was having to resort to more drastic marketing measures due to the large amount of pawned tits across the street.
DangerousShake
OH PLEASE, as though you can get more luxurious than riding a giant inflatable duck!
somedumbskank
Upon being defeated by yesterday's Asian Pope, the yellow warrior decries a fate worse than death--reincarnated to spend eternity wandering the Midwest.
birdsong
Customers who left without buying a car, found birdshit of diabolical smell and proportion festooning their vehicles as they exited.
NobodyNowhere
Luxury Auto Sales: Buy now and get a massive pile of windshield-smashing bird shit FREE!
isles147
Doesnt anyone know anything, that bird is placed there to scare away people with bad credit and no insurance
AndyC.
While the Pacific Northwest gets Bigfoot and Central America has the Chupacabra, not all communities get cool monsters. The locals around here barely even flinch when there's a 'Frillychicken' sighting.
See,Foo,Gee
"I know it's a crappy gig, I'm just glad I got that crazy Asian guy to dress up lik me so I wouldn't have to fight Samurai Pope."
Missing
"Why god? why was I brought into this world?! To sell luxury automobiles?! If that's the case then fuck you, fuck you straight to hell!" *jumps*
AndersonCouncil
Luxury Auto Sales? I'm going to Tit Pawn down the street. They don't have Big Bird's Satanic reincarnate.
Jachel
In 1978, Tweet, a seemingly innocent young man, was denied a luxary car. Now, in 2008, Tweet returns, as, THE ADVERTISER. Starring Shia Leboeuf.
Theta
What makes this classy, the chicken on the roof, or the Titlebucks pawnshop in the background? We leave that decision, gentle reader, to you...
Truthiness
At least the people at Exotic Auto Sales were able to afford a better mascot.
The Sound Defense
There comes a time in every young bird's life where he must leave the safety of his auto dealership, spread his wings, and fly.
mitchin
Luxury Auto Sales Optional Extras - 1. Cup Holders 2. Giant Bird Crap 3. Seat Warmers
hobknobgoblin
In Kentucky, they still build home altars to Titlebucks, the god of everything deep fried.
Nafta
The female viewer see's a bird, The male viewer see's the word Tit's TWICE! behind the bird.
PLANKTONIAN
WITH THE BOISTEROUS CROWD AT TITLEBUCKS LOOKING ON, HOWARD THE DUCK, HIGH ON HYDROPONIC BIRDSEED, HAS CONFUSED THE PARKING LOT AT LUXURY AUTO SALES WITH THE POOL AT HOWARD JOHNSONS...HE'S ONE CRAZY MOTHER CLUCKER!
deroest
Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.Don't you see the danger, John, inherent in what you're doing here? Genetic power is the most awesome force the planet's ever witne
mindforge
Hey you...Please get me down from here...Please.Please...PPLLEEAASSE..Boo hoo hoo hoo..
mindforge
Fussy Duck... Ducky Fuss... Fussy Duck... Ducky Fuck....Fucking Duck......Ducking fuck....Fucking fuck.... Damn!
CamboD
The writer of the Chicken Dance at last found work again, after the record executives had cancelled his eight albulm deal and blacklisted him in almost every business in America. But not Luxury Auto Sales. They still believed in the dream.
laterali
As if the Luxury Auto Sales right next to a Titlebucks pawn store wasn't enough of a deterent.
fighter24
Presenting... Birdman the amazing... Wonder bird. He can waddle, he can QUACK, amost importantly he can buy your old CAR. Any pressure from maffia owned pawn shop included, shop at your own risk.
Zoo06
"Hey man, you should really buy this car...or you know, things might happen...DEATH FROM ABOVE!"
jonnyt
The chicken reminds you that once you've pawned your tits at Titlebuck$, you can now afford a luxury auto. Right?
The_jimmuki
Big-Birds not so famous brother... Bill-Bird is the equevelant to Stephen Baldwin. Hey everybodys gotta make a living somehow.
empleryEntrance
Something tells me the suicide may be unsuccessful...given that its a bird...that can fly.
TulsaZ79
Come on done to Giant Cock Luxury Auto Sales today for the best deals. Remember if you don't see the Giant Cock you won't be satisfied.
strlen
Little Robbie never understood why his father told him to stay away from teenagers with paper maiche supplies until now.
scabbalicious
Luxury Auto Sales...home of the No-Credit Guarantee and now featuring the San Diego Chicken!
Kodiak
COMING SOON TO BROADWAY! THE CREATORS OF "FIDDLER ON THE ROOF" ARE PLEASED TO PRESENT: "THE ENRAGED NIHILISTIC MUPPET FETISHIST ON THE ROOF"!
Stevosaurous
Bob's bird suit did nothing to distract from the amazing tits directly below him.
steeltesseract
When not playing chaos theorists or flies jeff goldblum moonlights as your local inflatable chicken
steeltesseract
Ash Catchem thought he would never catch the ultrarare Chickenomon with amazing papermache stand there attack but his luck had changed POKEMON!!!!!!!!!
rodrigopk
Trampolines: 50.00$ Storm Trooper suit: :399.00$ Christmas lights: 14.99$ Trying to explain this photo to your employer who stumbled across your myspace... Priceless
Hexus
"Well ladies, when my friend said ugly chicks could blow better than anyone else, this isn't what I thought he meant."
Catapulter
And Megatron's testicle was placed on a chain to remind us all of the day he tried to destroy the Earth. But that was something the school children didn't realize.
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