Other Craptions

Chang marvelled at that statues huge genitalia

"Break glass if Satan's children are found in time out."

The Chinese' first attempts at Yao Ming were not very successful.

He's not really cold, he's just trying to justify the "shrinkage"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why China will never have the Olympic games held in the......what?....are you serious?......when?.......last week?!

Yeah, I KNOW the building's on fire and we need the hose, but I'm not going near those fucking things!

High School was a cruel and awkward time, even for Satan.

!Hong Kong Xu!, the star of Chinese version of the Indiana Jones series, was faced with own fair share some challenging puzzles...

One of michaelangelo's less favorite works, "Falacio will keep you warm", was on display this weekend, at the exit door of the Bejing Summer Olympics stadium

...I'm getting embarrassed, You won't like me when I'm embarrassed...

Don't you ever KNOCK?!

A Japanese stylized thermometer. as you can see, it's crotch is telling us it's cold.

For obvious reasons, "fat and happy" Buddha caught on much better than "large, skinny, crying" Bhudda, especially when they added a sidekick "oblivious Boy"

Taken 2 seconds before Chris Hansen asks the guy in the parka to "take a seat"

Mr Zhang's had perfected the art of critique to the point where he would make the art pieces themselves ashamed for the artist.

Hey, I think I saw those at IKEA last weekend.

why is that asian guy checking out that statue's penis? Jealous Perhaps?

John froze as he turned the corner. There standing in front of him was the representation of his childhood and love life all rolled into one. Behind glass indeed.

What a big baby. The little one doesn't mind the temperature one bit.

On his way to the Museum Gift Shop, Li Kim discovered the seldom seen “We Don’t Know What The Fuck It Is Either” exhibit on the 3rd floor landing.

Well, at first Hell Boy was kind of a bitch but he grew out of it.

how about the fact that there's a sign above the statue telling you to run the fuck away as fast as possible!!!

The red children knew only too well what the man in the furry-hooded coat was going to do with the firehose. It's the same every day. And it is terrible.

Standing next to the fire hose probably isn't helping his self esteem, either.

Critic: "Obviously, this piece symbolises Taiwan's turning its back on big brother China and leaving him out in the cold." Artist: "Sure, whatever. Can I have my bowl of rice now?"

"Don't worry Alien dude, all of our penises are very small in this country. You are welcome here!"

They were warned not to pull the alarm.

The creator of the Ring's next movie - Angry Sunburned Children Out for Revenge - loses something in the translation.

[insert joke about Asian penises]

proof that all those goddamn motherfucking chinese are poor sports... they found everyone that protested and DIPPED THEM IN HOT WAX!!! see above, Lebron James

A few hours ago, before being boiled, stretched on a rack and put in a freezing room naked: "So, Ming, why do they call you 'the Merciless,' anyway?"

brings new meaning to the term 'Red- China is a bunch of fucking assholes'

Excuse me, where's the restroom? D-d-don't g-g-go in there.

With little Jimmy far more interested in walls than mouth rape, Big Red Bob turned his attention to another victim

In case of fire break glass, then hook hose to tall stautues penis, then screw smaller statue on to end as a nozzle, then turn water on.....then burn because while funny, that's not how emergency hoses work.

This is what Red Snapper gets stuffed with.

Let's see... one last hydrant to check... Number 119... ah, here we go-- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!

Is it cold in here or is my dick just really fuckin' small???

Chaing stood in stunned silence. All of the stories he had heard linking head size to penis size had been a complete lie.

Upon seeing these statues, Phil recalled his first experience waiting in line at the local Glory Hole.

Meanwhile, on the set of the new Tool video...

This is how you can tell when you adopt from Red China.

The pedophiliac janitor's highpoint of the day was polishing the artwork... with his mouth.

"I've heard of Blue Balls before, but not THAT. Man, you might need to get that shit checked."

You should have seen what they were doing before he walked in.

Upon inspection, Dan had realized that the creature wasn’t jolly, wasn’t green, and certainly wasn’t giant. Instead, Dan dubbed him Little Sprout.

Bob decided against ordering the "Chef's Surprise".

Ironically, Wang didn't get the meaning of the art.

What's with the wood pattern on the door?