Other Craptions

"Thank God you came along, please, please mister, call 911." "OK, just give me one minute. I need to take of picture of this for Cracked.com."

Doctor: Push harder, Ms. Tree, I can see the head!

Treebeard and Gollum's bastard child was never fully accepted by society.

If a tree swallows a man in the forest, and no one is around to hear him scream, does he make a sound?

Holy shit that's Fucking weird! I hear ya, why is the inside of his cheek yellow? Dude what, NO I mean the severed head in the fucking . . . oh, yeah that that is kinda creepy.

This is what happens when you can't just be content with HUGGING the trees.

So THAT'S where Vin Diesel's been for the last few years...

Don't put your penis in there!

This is a Nightmare in Elm Street, for sure. Get it? Eh, go on with you.

John regretted kicking the squirrels nut after it dragged him into his tree and bit his

Allstate Man: "If a tree f***s you up in a car accident, will you be covered? Don't hope so, know so."

"Guys...come back...Hey! This isn't funny anymore!"

I wondered where Michael Jackson had been living since he lost Neverland Ranch...

You've heard of the Giving Tree. Well, this tree has a completely different philosophy.

Where will you be when Diarrhea strikes?

Peeping toms are getting more determined these days.

Not pictured: a family pissing themselves in fear

Trees. Nature's monster. Given the chance they'd kill you and your whole family.

A head in a tree is worth two in a bushel.

Bob: What they decide to kill him for? Jon: Treeson

Scout did not appreciate Boo Radley's recent gift.

in Russia tree hugs you?

Sometimes you hug the tree, and sometimes the tree hugs you.

That's the second ugliest vagina I've ever seen.

Hey, I was looking for China and I think I took a wrong turn somewhere. Did I miss the Olympics?

Even trees need a little head every now and then.

...and that was the last time I ever peed in the woods

Oakkkkkkkay!!!

Ahh. The elusive Venus Mime Trap.

CSI has now officially run out of ideas.

On Camera: A tree spirit masturbating furiously

Here's Johnny!

Naughty Pine.

This is EXACTLY why I'm petrified of petrified wood.

One day Viagra would have side effects surface, we all knew that.

All I did was carve my initials!

It was at that moment that Professor Finklestein's botany lecture went horribly, horribly awry.

How Johnny Appleseed was born.

I don't know about you but judging by the expression on that guys face I'm gonna go get me some wooden vagina!

Oh I'm a lumberjack and i'm okay....

George Lucas makes yet another edit to Darth Vader's unmasking scene.

Darth vader didnt think his plan through when he tried to spy on the ewoks

"*Yawn* Wow...I...shit, where am I? SHIT! What the fuck am I doing in here? How wasted was I last night?"

It was while filming the man-eating trees sequence that M. Night Shyamalan decided to make "The Happening" a little more plausible.

"...and here, you can see the new sapling's head begins to crown. This completes my presentation on the majestic redwood's reproductive process. Any questions?"

FOUND: The missing head from the zombie/monster craption from yesterday!

The real story of Pinocchio is a lot more disturbing than the Disney version

c´mon man, whats the worst thing that could happen?

I, for one, welcome our tree-dwelling overlords...