I thought the website said that my butt plug would be sent in a discreet package...
Fearing the destruction of the entire city, the mayor finally gave in to the 50 Foot Woman's demands.
It took no less than 15 Ghostbusters to capture the love child of Stay Puft and Slimer.
In trade for peace, Japanese scientists successfully removed Godzilla's gall stone infront of a crowd of eager enthusiasts
"I am ZOLAX! DESTROYER OF WORLDS! YOU PUNY HUMANS ARE NO MUCH FO...h-hey...stop laughing! Why are you all laughing? W-what's so funny...is my zipper down...I...STOP LAUGHING AT ZOLAX!!!"
Is this one of those 'find five things wrong' photos? Motorola logo is upside down. People are on the wrong side of the barriers. Major intersection has no traffic lights. 'Parade' only has one float. WHAT ELSE????
Not pictured: Lorena Bobbitt behind bars yet again, and Shrek waiting patiently at the hospital for the search team's phone call.
Through the encouragement of the crowd and the aid of some well-placed guide ropes, the intersection of Fifth and Main triumphs over its erectile dysfunction. Moments later, the Moto Building got its fucking world ROCKED...
Due to budget constraints, the Thanksgiving parade will be confined to a single intersection this year..... and the balloons will suck
When Shrek isn't home, it takes 20 of the town's strongest men to bring Fiona her "special toy".
Sam's Kosher Deli always had the least popular float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
A lot of people had gathered to watch the world's largest cucumber balloon. A lot of people were disappointed when realizing that the world's largest cucumber balloon was in fact...the world's largest cucumber balloon.
"I swear honey, it took 14 people to get me to the hospital after my erection lasted for more than 4 hours."
Scene from the X-rated version of Gulliver?s Travels. Despite the main character being a giant dick (Voiced by Jeremy Piven), ratings among the female demographic were surprisingly low.
Veggietales, in accordance with God's will, massacred the heathen hordes of Japan.
Well, THAT looks like a green "certain something" Dicks, I'm making a reference to dicks.
Paris Hilton to the front desk: "Yes, I want a giant frozen cucumber. . YOU know what I'm talking about Paul, no bullshit this time. . "
Ladies and Gentlemen!! Are you ready for the biggest Whore-Off of the century!!!
Michael Bay Presents: GUMBY RETURNS "This summer... you'll be seeing green"
"Guys, we really need to get past here... whatever this thing fell off of is going to be pissed."
Here we see lesser-known floats such as Giant Lima Bean have their time to shine in the Macy's Day-After-Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Jimmy, standing dangerously close to the edge of the roof, immediately regretted dropping acid and knew this was going to be one long night.
Unfortunately for Motorola, not only was their huge ad hung upside-down, the Vlasic Pickle promo was catching all the attention
After Jesus came back, Larry the Cucumber finally got the respect that he deserved.
Just before being shot down by planes, King Kong decided to have the last laugh and took a shit on the crowd below..
When the Jolly Green Giant wants to take a dump, he takes a dump wherever the fuck he wants.
The contestants are to hold onto the giant green turd for 24 hours with one 20 minute break. First prize: A pair of yellow cabs.
Saturday night in Indiana. Obama about to reveal his VP running mate. History.
I dont care how big you are, I will never give you the recipie to the crabby patty Plankton!
Dr Ray Stantz: I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us. Larry the Cucumber! Dr. Peter Venkman: Nice thinkin', Ray.
Praising the God of Fallus-Shaped Balloons is the new fad: he doesn't ask for much, plus, he's green
As Gulliver picked his nose and' flicked it at them, the lilliputians realised they were out of their depth.
The villagers soon learned the power of the Jolly Green Giant's turds and attempted to corral this fiesty floating one.
There's something just not right about a nighttime parade with a single, suppository-shaped balloon... not right at all.
Bob knew that leaving his cucumbers on the neighbor's porch would be a special challenge this year.
The crowd suddenl circl...squared the balloon carriers. They were all jealous and wanted a turn.
China's "progressive" image took a shot when it was revealed that most of the country had converted to Giant Cucumberism.
The Independent Film Channel's remake of Godzilla is really going to suck!
New MythBusters expierment: Biggest condom ever filled with air. (Hmm, makes you wonder who it fits)
Just before being shot down by the planes, King Kong decided to have the last laugh...
Ah, their plan had worked! With the huge cucumber blimp in place no one had noticed how utterly stupid it had been to cover a whole huge building in plastic.
Knowing that this could perhaps be their last chance to stop the rampaging fifty foot woman, the sexshop operators of the world united to create the biggest dildo ever seen by mankind. Godspeed.
"Oh, come on guys, I think you're blowing this whole thing out of proportion... the tumor isn't THAT bad..."
As they let go of the bungee cords, the giant green turd sprung majestically into the air, and straight through the MOTO sign.
City officials used the Incredible Hulk's dick to distract the crowd from the building that had crash landed behind them.
Hours of strenuous lassoo practice paid of this Friday when the Spurbury police had to stop a giant pickle from destroying the city.
Alright Jack you've gone a little far with this beanstalk obsession....you need help.
Attendance at Vlasic's celebration of their 100 year anniversary was mandatory for all employees.
Mama-san say "Get a good job with the schity" Mama-san say "It vely honolable work" Mana-san not say anything about creaning up Godzirra butt prug.
The mutated gardener had to be held down by thirteen brave souls. Many died that day, crushed by his evil, gargantuan, green thumb.
Gumby brought a lady home that night and was ready to get it on... That's when he realized he dropped it in the street.
Veggie Tales was actually adapted from a 1979 Japanese horror flick, "Super Fantastic Giant Cucumber of the Evil Death."
In celebration of their victory over the Jolly Green Giant, the CEO's of Del Monte paraded his neutered penis around the city for all to see.
Billy loved to participate in balloon races.... even though he always came in turd...
Genetically modified organisms are getting out of hand. For the love of god, look at that cucumber.
",,,and...this just in...There was an accident in downtown Bejing that involved a giant balloon crushing and killing at least a hundred people...at least thirty more are injured, and -" " - and in later news USA gets ANOTHER gold medal! GO USA! SU
We're defenseless against it! We're screwed! Not yet. We can cross the streams. But, you said never to cross the streams!
Samuelson's attempt at the world record for eating the world's largest jelly bean ended in tragedy.
The first time Godzilla decided to fuck the Earth, people from all over the world went to Japan to witness the unthinkable. However, 100 years later and things have changed as more crowd gathered on the ceremony of delivering Godzilla's condom then o
Despite reports from the republican party Iraq's missle defense program consisted of little more than a large green balloon.
The Japanese version of Veggie Tales was considerably different from the American version. But one thing remained constant; the special effects still needed a lot of work.
Though it was a terrible tragedy, the public debut of the world's largest lump of Silly Putty would leave a lasting impression on the crowd.
The first successful lift-off of Japan's environmentally-friendly space program.
After losing popularity, Gumby took the 'Carrot Top' way out and took steroids. This caused obvious mutations.
Veggietales finally went too far when they enslaved humanity and ordered the Motorola building flipped upside-down.
what the hell is up with the one dildo/pickle/shrek's dick on a string puller who is wearing orange?
If he were dead, Gallagher would roll over in his grave. Instead, he rolled over, saw the event on television, killed himself, and then rolled over in his grave.
Tired of drivers who fail to start driving when the light turns green, New Yorkers take drastic action.
See, this is where genetically-altered food will bring us: giant, killer vegtables. Are you happy now, science?
A crowd gathered to see the magnificent parade! Seconds later, they all left in disappointment.
2004 Hulk sequel producers comment, "And we would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling Edward Norton!"
Even with most of the enemy pointing and laughing, the U.S Military were unwilling to admit that their "Surface to Air Gherkin" was not as intimidating as hoped.
The Green giant wasnt so jolly... Once he realized he had TESTICULAR CANCER!!!! Now, he is just half a jolly.
Soon after, two giant inflatable girls and a giant inflatable cup showed up.... the reactions of the crowd were then filmed and placed on youtube...
Finally, a roofie large enough to take down Amy Winehouse. Someone wheel in the giant scotch!
Unhappy with the Stay Puft Man, Gozer the Destructor chose a more menacing form to destroy the world.
Long the object of ridicule on the VeggieTales videos, Larry the Cucumber shoots up with "Farmer Brown's Patented Growth Hormone" and takes his horrific revenge!
New York gave people the impression TO fuck with them after erecting a giant clitoris in front of a huge crowd of
Desperate to reclaim the rest of their town from Sally Struthers' stomach, the people decided to use the trojan method....
Wow. The hulk really let himself go to pot after that second movie flopped too, huh?
The Mexican Vegan Coalition celebrating their first year with their traditional Pickle Pi?ata Parade
After so many decades of use, THIS is how big Keith Richards' pills have to be for him to actually feel anything.
Pfeizer rolled out its new pill providing a permanent, single dose cure for Erectile Disfunction...
Though he was 5 blocks away, the Jolly Green Giant's semen still killed 30 people.
After the failed 40Ton Viagra attempt, the crowd jumped in to help the Green Giant become Jolly again. Alas, the scars will remain for some time.
The Christians decided it was time to let go of the VeggieTales franchise when LarryBoy went steaking...
After the Giant Pickle Overlords took over the world, Fourth of July parades were a bit...different.
Behold the grand result of one satisfied customer of the gamma-ray erection amplifier...
Depsite his faltering career, Rick Moranis could not bring himself to star in "Honey I Blew up the Sex Toy"
Suspecting the large green balloon of causing the gaping hole in the building, the entire vigilante town tried their hardest to restrain it.
When Crazy Carl said that he had married an invisible 50-foot-woman, the town decided to mess with Crazy Carl by putting a giant cucumber in front of where Carl said that his invisible giant wife was sitting. Then, some of the townspeople began taki
At long last, Jimmy introduced the world to the newest form of viral marketing: Shrek-donging. Hilarity (and a few lawsuits) ensued.
In the ongoing quest for the newest internet meme, Jimmy subjected a city block to "Shrek-donging". Hilarity ensued.
"No, we said 'Bilbo.' This is going to the the worst Thanksgiving Day Parade ever."
When Crazy Carl said that he had married an invisible 50-foot-woman, the town decided to mess with Crazy Carl by putting a giant cucumber in front of where Carl said that his invisible giant wife was sitting, and some took bets to see if it would tur
When Crazy Carl said that he had married an invisible 50-foot-woman, the town decided to mess with Crazy Carl by putting a giant cucumber in front of where Carl said that his wife was sitting. Some took bets to see if it would turn into a pickle.
Tired of being called a pickle, Larry the Cucumber decided to take matters into his own hands. The feeble attempt by the Veggie Tales staff to subdue him failed miserably.
For some reason, the makers of "Cloverfield" had to reject the idea that a 50 foot fart cloud would make a good monster...
Jim: Holy shit! That thing is huge! Bob: I think the real issue here is that George Bush hasn't responded to this crisis...
the guy in the car must be pissed that they blcked the show for some stupid shit like this. or insanely happy...
Everybody here disgusts me. It is not a giant woman's sex toy, but the cucumber from Veggietales facing the crowd!!!! Those are children for Gods Sake!!!
After the horrible accident, the name "Jolly Green Giant" would definitely need some revision.
Little did Chris Angel know, David Blane had already made a giant inflatable dildo vanish two weeks earlier.
Mrs. Jolly Green Giant was forced to find other means of pleasure once Mr. Jolly Green Giant went absent.
Feeling proud of the admittedly odd PR stunt, the Motorola executive's heart sank when he realised the billboard was upside down.
In an effort to pay back the Hulk for the times he saved/pwned the world, the citizens decided to help "raise" his egg.
The cult of the semi-phallic blow-up float. And still less weird than Scientology.
Why is nobody paying attention to THE GIANT FUCKING WHOLE IN THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING. ... oh yeah. a giant inflatable penis....
God's mucus had become an instant praying site for the masses, even before the pope approved of its authenticity.
Tired of people constantly removing their favourite garnish from burgers, the National Gherkin Society launched a new parade-based campaign to raise popularity. It failed miserably, but proved oddly popular in certain areas of San Francisco...
The Opening Ceremonies for China's Picklympics, however, were not as impressive....
The IOC unveil the official Mascot for the 2012 games: Frank the Giant Booger
The IOC unveil the official mascot for the 2012 Olympic Games: Frank the Giant Booger
In their final attempt to stick it to the man,Shrek's penis was hopefully gonna get em right up the rear!
Thanks to Ritalin, children's animation has become too simplistic, as demonstrated by this parade balloon.
"Bean smash!" Were the last words they heard before the giant Mexican jumping bean destroyed them.
It looks as though New York may have the answer to it's Godzilla problem - kidnap it's man-parts and hold them for ransom.
The turnout for the 2008 Cedar Rapids Mucus Festival was a little disappointing this year...
Hundreds were disappointed when they found out that THIS was the Mr. Bean that would be signing autographs that evening.
Is the Hulk ready? If we can just get this to the hospital it can still be reattached!
This adorable scene turned ugly when Mom forgot to quack the window while shopping
Obama's new running mate EnKhoRhet is expected to appeal to the enormous mummy torso demographic, which as we all recall was crucial in securing the Florida vote for Bush in the last election.
November 2009
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