Porkz
Genesis 4:20 "...And God put a quarter in the plastic egg machine and the toy inside was man."
hamlet
Unable to maintain his medical costs, the Bubble Boy's parents tried unsuccessfully to drown him.
Hamper
There must be a fire at Macy's. The manikins don't hit the escape pods for the hell of it.
SwordBuddha
Good news: Hamsters have Fairy Godmothers. Bad news: Hamsters make really stupid wishes.
TheSicilian
Didn't we just see a black guy in a red jumpsuit inside a clear container the other day? Leave it to a white guy to take something cool a black guy is doing and turn it into bleached douchebaggery
GeeGee
Shunned by the Justice League and limited in his superpowers, AquaGerbilman nevertheless rushed, once again, to stately Gere Mansion to save Richard from another embarrassing "situation".
iantendo
the worst part is despite all the fucked up things happening in this photo the only thing I can think about is how small that chicks tits are
TheSicilian
And you thought the black guy in the small clear plastic box was fucked up...
rooftopduvet
Mannequins travel thousands of miles to lay their eggs by the tower bridge each year. Few will live to see the summer.
Roclawzi
Born via emergency c-section, Gus continues to be the only person in the world who still had his amniotic sac.
Leaf
After jumping from the bridge in an effort to kill herself and escape her abusive husband, Sue Storm realized that, subconciously, she might just want to live!
Bell110
Tragically, the ship carrying the Cirque du Soleil sank off the coast of New York. There was only one surivor.
Dhondy
Admittedly the second coming of Jesus exposed the whole thing to be a bit of a sham.
maple_man
The filming of the music video for "Glass Onion" went horribly wrong when the river carried it past the lawn where the slingshot world championships were being held.
Roclawzi
There were so many flaws in the new shark cage design, we gave up pointing them out.
Hamper
Michael Jackson knew he had a financial problem when his creditors started throwing stuff from his living room into the river.
tpellegrino
The Olympics continue to try to find events Americans won't do to get other countries to feel better about themselves!
_Phoenix_
Off camera, several teenage boys stand at the ready with rocks and pellet guns.
CreepyOldMan
This jsut in.... training for the Olympic dart team took a tragic turn today when....
Hamper
You know how Scotty from star trek wanted his ashes sent into space? Jacques Cousteau settled for being set adrift the East River.
meathooksodomy
I can't tell the gender (drunk before 10am, life is good!) but i WANNA FUCK IT!!!!
capitanoalberti
What London is considering for its 2012 Opening Ceremonies. Still won't top Beijing, bitches!
TheSicilian
Would you believe this what we'll use for transport when all the oil runs out?
Milkman
The argument between George Costanza and the bubble boy over "moops" vs "moors" reached new lows.
OlDirtyBen
Remember that one miniseries from the early 80's where the space invaders turned out to be lizards but could disguise themselves as people or something? Yeah, this is nothing like that.
OlDirtyBen
When I poop in the giant floating hamster ball, it stays in the giant floating hamster ball.
turkenjd
August 14, 2008, Attempt Number 47. Modifications to the bubble should allow the test subject to safely travel over the falls. New to this attempt: escape hatch has been built into the bubble.
oldtarears
Aquaman discovers his new super-farting ability has certain drawbacks when used underwater.
morgannec
Halfway across the Mississippi, Frank suddenly realized that his chili lunch would result in a tragic end.
empleryEntrance
"It's BALL! It's BALL! It's big, it's light, it's clear! It's BALL! It'S BALL! It's better than gay, it's queer!"
Chromius
Jerry knew that he had finally done it. The crowd was enthralled, his act was a hit. Just as he began his "Man on the Moon" mime, he farted...
Truthiness
And that's when Wayne Conye realized that this wasn't the Flaming Lips concert and he was smack dab in the middle of the ocean.
darcywood
After being denied access into the country, Ivan turned around and headed back to Europe.
Hydrashok158
Rubbermaid's(tm) new protection suit and bubble to help protect your Rubbermaid!
dsp100252
For anyone who's ever wanted to swim in the Hudson, but with those nasty side effects like pollution and death!
missmarcilyn
Meanwhile, back at the hall of justice, somebody wondered where Aquaman had gone....but only for a minute.
Jungiebumper
Yeah man! I'm tired of this. Tired of life! Tired of everything! Now I'm going to a better place... just as soon as I hit something sharp...
smallshrimp
citizens of New Orleans took anti-flood advice, but, stupidly, they got this advice from the boy ina bubble.
colin_in_sick
Due to budget constraints, the Make a Wish Foundation has been selecting more..."practical" wishes to fulfill.
DrChickenballs
For some odd reason the new sun block sphere only protected Billy's face.
thatdrunkdude
After their son drowned the Johnsons took water safety very seriously. The bubble obviously for flotation, the red suit and white mask to scare the shit out of Death if he shows up.
Hamper
Sure it looks nice now. In about five hours it will wash up somewhere in New Jersey riddled with bullets and probably a few arrows.
Hamper
It would be a lot more interesting if there was an alligator or something in there with it.
TheSicilian
This the end scene of Stanley Kubrick's lost remake of The Boy In The Plastic Bubble
Rascalov
And then people 16 calls about someone trapped in a bubble.. And that's the story about how he got a redman got a white mask..
Rascalov
Ok people so here are the options, we could repair the road or we could make a puppet flowting in a bubble in the river...
some0ne
On the 99th day of being taunted and ridiculed David Blaine was starting to wish he had worn the red jumpsuit.
shwagy
After Jabberwocky won Randy Jackson's "America's Best Dance Crew", it was determined that Po, the smallest of all the Teletubbies and often the one who gets into innocent trouble no longer fit their image and she was expelled down the Hudson in her F
malachi
There can be little impact from a superhero who's strategy is limited to "I'm not touching you!"
meathooksodomy
PROOF THAT THE FUCKING GAP COMERCIALS HAVE BECOME WAY TOO GODDAMN ARTSY! IT'S A COMERCIAL FOR FUCKING MEN'S 1 PIECE SWIMMING SUIT AND PANTY HOSE ALL WRAPPED UP IN ONE!
getittwistd
I don't know how he's going to grab the flag Bob, but I bet the Blue Team's never seen THIS tactic before!
chupathingy1234
The summer training program for Cirque De Soleil is widely considered to be one of nature's most grim and hilarious spectacles.
melissa
the mission is almost complete, i just gotta... OH SHIT! How on earth do you take a fucking dump in this thing?
firuleos
No one ever said it, but everyone thought this was a rather sadistic way for the Jabbawockeez to hold tryouts
Dhondy
Admittedly the second coming of Jesus exposed the whole thing to be a bit of a shame.
Jara
Not for the first time, Red Ranger longed for the good old days when dinosaur Zords were a la mode.
Monkey84
Red-heads have evolved many techniques to ensure the survival of the next generation.
iantendo
"Excuse me have you seen my son... he's about 6 foot tell, wearing a red fully body leotard, no face, and he's floating in a plastic bub... oh never mind there he is"
-Rob-
well that looked retarded...sorry [INSERT crappy joke/statement/pun about masturbation]
dennis_d_wurm
AquaMan found himself with a completely new and still shitty useless superpower...
Kent007
Ok get ready with your air rifles, It’s time for Tubby bye bye, it’s time for Tubby bye bye
Indigo_Dingo
The Blue Man Group needed to send a message to their competition. That message? Fucked if I know.
LilMoof
Orson Scott Card, using his anti-gay force field, has finally learned to walk on water.
Questionevil
After feeding the bubble boy his special beans, Billy looked on with glee as the bubble boy asphyxiated in a cloud of his own filth.
Canadianbacon
between the full body suit, and the plastic ball, Jim was completely protected from all things... including skin pigment.
tappspeed
Are those boobies??? Until this fact is revealed, I'm afraid I cannot, in all good conscience, submit a Craption today.
LilMoof
The Red Goblin was thrilled when he stole Wonder Woman's invisible water craft but he still needs to learn how to navigate the damn thing.
jwhaler
This photo taken moments before Chet, while trying out his new Ziploc Freezer Ball, tragically overlooked the fact that blue and yellow had NOT made green.
manateeofwar
Created by Charlie Tuna, the "human lure" was sure to even the score between fish and man once and for all.
Leaf
Jesus said unto Peter "I am a fisher of men.... behold my bait - the red snapper!!"
OlDirtyBen
Pinocchio's retarded cousin Richard was never going to be the stuff of fairy tale legend.
OlDirtyBen
Now that mom was dead, the Blue Man Group decided they just couldn't put up with their mulatto brother Peter anymore.
DirkBelig
Despite his love of hip-hop culture, Francois couldn't properly grasp the concept of being a "baller".
megaweege66
When the Emperor's Imperial Guard misbehaved, he left their punishment up to Darth Gere.
bunnalsom
Fuck this picture, did anyone else not know that there was also a country named Georgia?
onslo
Phelps' brother didn't have quite the same technique and wasn't as at home on the water.
Trillian
Make sure when submitting your "Politically Correct" Craption not to use words such as "White, Black, Brown, Yellow, Red" or any derogatory word(s) pertaining to Race, national origin, or sexual orientation or you might have your Craption pulled by
airmancoop44
As if they needed any more attention drawn to themselves, they decided to wear bright red spandex too.
paranoidpyro
When the Chinese officials tried to introduce the "100 meter aqua hamster-ball dash" into the Olympic lineup, it was met with a less-than-enthusiastic response
Bell110
That whole 'Jesus walking on water' thing... turns out it wasn't that great of a miracle after all.
morgannec
Protesting Circus Du Soleil for stealing his act, Pete made it his mission to pee once an hour into their drinking water.
Leaf
After years of suffering, Howie Mandel finally found a way to use his 'skill' of blowing up surgical gloves to deal with his OCD....
Leaf
Under the guise of testing another obscure myth, the other members of Mythbusters were finally able to get rid of Grant.... no longer would they have to put up with his robot building obsession...
malachi
A still from the finished version of Kevin cosner's "Waterworld". Unfortunately for the world, the director replaced the movie with some piece of shit they threw together in two seconds, and that is the Waterworld WE know.
JabbaTheGriffin
After years of waiting, the Red Teletubby, Po, rose from the depths to unleash hell upon Earth...after she helped herself to some Tubby Custard
Grampaeddie
The torture devices in Saw going to be getting pretty lame by the time part 5 comes out.
Leaf
It's too late to put her in a protective bubble now!!! Look at her - she's already rusted!!!
Ben Hayes
Jeffery was disappointed to find that most of his business had been stolen by the black guy in a cube.
klopper
Of all the ways to commit suicide, Bubble Boy chose the probably worst one. Anyways, he died of thirst a few days later, while still floating in clean, drinking water. - PURE IRONY !!!
Mr_K_Twig
The whale's burp bubble burst the surface. Jonah could not believe his luck, but a 'pop' later he was free.
jon767
you see the black man walks on the water like this, but the white an walks on the water like this...
DrScroats
Ahhh France, the air is cleaner, the grass is greener, and the people are gayer.
Jaxter
"That was some party last night." He opens his eyes and sees where he's at and then gets up. "What the Fuck? Where am I? Why am I wearing red...HELP ME OPRAH WINFREY HELP ME TOM CRUISE!
Drknowledge
The rest of the world felt sorry for Canada and invented a sport even they could medal in.
Badidea
Kenneth always made the best of a bad situation and created a floating bubble with his snot!
darcywood
Left tit: I wish i was as big as the bubble. Right tit: Yeah, me too..............the bubble is a slut.
Daylight
OMG!!! OMG!!! it cant... be....!! its conan o'brien?!?! oh wait wait wait... phew!!... it's just the devil!
Rubbah
As an artist, I will explain the meaning and profundity behind this work: You see, the globe is surrounded by water, but man.. man is IN the globe..
Noinix
Since his terrible disease forced him to live in a bubble, Jimmy tried to end it all. The worst was when he discovered that his bubble floats.
Jiminy
Authorities respond as yet another man of war jellyfish washes up on an English shore line, but it's too late for Po!
sweetpathos
It was with great sadness and regret that Cirque De Soleil committed their troupe-master's lifeless body to the sea...
Damion
And when the egg goes downstream, the Teletubbie grows inside, and if it isn't eaten by a predator, it hatches, and matures into a full-grown Teletubbie...
ciaro
"if you keep eating so much bubble gum youll turn in to a bubble gum" he didnt listen
Buffy871
The first rule about Floating Ball club is you don't talk about floating ball club.
Spoopark
And thus Began the unending rivalry between the Blue Man Group and the other "Primary" Gangs.
Eliot
A French and David Bowie joint creation, the man-o-sphere's majesty will forever remind us of why we dare not dream of the surreal.
zombiehunter
After winning America's Best Dance Crew the Jabberwockies went on and dabbled in some less successful solo endeavors.
fenderhhh
Star Child from 2001, has it been that long? I remember when you were "this" big!
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