JebusTrain
You see class, back in the Old West everybody loved making pancakes. As a matter of fact, pancakes helped win the West from those damn Indians.
MochaBear
And here is a wax sculpture set of the original Brokeback Mountain, starring Ronald Reagan, John Wayne, and Jack Palance.
geniuswaitress
Politics aside: putting Ronald Reagan's corpse in a movie just seems wrong.
crisitunity
"Well Mr. Eastwood, you can either direct Flags of our Fathers 2: Still Flaggin' or a wax, animatronic off-broadway play of Unforgiven." "I think I know my choice"
WantSomeScotch?
You'll notice that whenever Southerners re-enact the infamous "pancake scene" from Death of a Salesman, they never seem to get the dramatic mood right because they refuse to stop whistling.
geniuswaitress
"Wank away, boys. As soon as this bucket's full, we're gonna play a hi-larious prank on Miss Kitty."
geniuswaitress
Many people don't know that in addition to having Trigger stuffed, Roy Rogers did the same to his co-stars.
geniuswaitress
"No, you can't join our club. You have to have a neck scarf and hold your mouth like this. Show 'im, boys."
soulcalibergirl
Tommy Lee Jones, Borat, and Paul Giamatti star in The Singing Cowboys Make Frosting.
Effetal
phill collins rendition of "The good, The bad, and the ugly" didnt go over so well.
MMaverickX
If I didn't know any better I'd say that Old Jebediah had his hand on Jacob's crotch....
Skooba
The one in the middle is the bad guy... you can tell because has a black hat and a Snidely Whiplash moustache! REGAN SMASH... REGAN SMASH...
newnailbed
When the barbershop quartet found out their fourth died of dysentery, the Oregon Trail just got even harder.
LilMoof
Where will you be when diarrhea strikes? (I swore I wouldn't do that but it fits!)
trytych
Jasper knew that to be accepted in the gang he had to get the Brazilian wax, but that didn't mean he had to like it.
pelcurus
These writer's are so lacking originality. There's nothing to suggest these cowboys are gay. They're animatronic figures of popular actors who portrayed... is Reagan grabbing that paladin's junk?
MMaverickX
When the gay trio ran out of pancake batter for their breakfast, they had to resort to baby batter...but they didn't mind one bit.
Mafusma
"I...I just can't cook these mashed taters without a song. HIT IT!". Another day at C.E. Cheddar's Fun Wagon.
mellowd
Notice that there's not much facial hair on them despite being old cowboys out in the wilderness? That's because they've been waxed.
Malhal
I'd hate to have to be the ventriloquist that puts his hand up their asses, they seem somewhat... 'over prepared'...
JewelsVern
The pioneers had to make do with what they had. Like if only three guys showed for a barbershop quartet, they would grab a bucket and pretend that was the fourth guy.
philroco
I don't know, a bunch of guys together in the wilderness, cooking for each other? Sounds kinda gay.
Jnuh
Genesis' first music video for their upcoming country album "Land of Country Fusion" left most of their fanbase feeling quite alienated.
keithcsegovia
I hate working in the Wax museum, we gotta make our own wax to apply on our bodies. its giving me some damn nasty 3rd degree burns!
trytych
Australian farmers have had mixed reactions to news that sheep can also be used for wool.
sbell51
It was a tradition on Broke Back Mountain that the old regulars would surprise the new ranchers by waking them to a surprise breakfast. That was until the day Jim, Frank, and Hank walked into a disturbing scene at the "new guys" camp.
Drknowledge
Not many people know the last 3 years in office Ronald Reagan was actually made of wax.
Tezzle
December 16th, 2005: Brokeback Mountain hits Texas theaters. Some are confused, some are in denail, and some are FABULOOOUUUS!
invalid
These three guys gave Hee Haw's 9th annual Baby Batter Mixing Compition a serious run for it's money.
BrokenJester
I want my Cowboy display to have all the appeal of a 97 year old nutsack. Can you do that for me? Great.
McLargeHuge
Left to right: George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld speak to reporters at Bush's Crawford, Texas ranch.
Icalasari
Side effects from eating The Western Trio's Pancakes include, but are not limited to: Disfigurement, Singing songs non-stop, and wanting to appear in a crappy western
c_bianchi
good bye kids! that was another lessons for: "how to make your own dinner when you are lost in the desert" using sand, some water and a lot of sperm
Salandra
The guy with the pancake mix is minding his own business, trying to ignore the fact that yellowshirt guy is grabbing obnoxious red shirt guys junk.
slime
It was hard for Roy and Cookie to ignore John when he got drunk and started singing his favorite Abba songs.
davoyeahdude
Brokeback Mountain 2 saw the focus shift from homosexuality to good old fashioned necrophilia.
SwordBuddha
...and for some reason five-year-old lil' Travis just wouldn't stop screaming.
KingMarkI
"If you buy the Wild West version of Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tool Man, I'll throw in two retarded Tool Men FREE!!!"
pelcurus
Bill, you go that way. Randall, you go that way. I'll head up the middle. We're gonna catch that dastardly Chuck E. sumbitch one way or another.
pelcurus
Here's a special song for the birthday boy. Ready, fellas... and-a One, and-a two, and-a three, "You let me violate you..."
mellowd
By order of the fashion Sheriff of the State of Nevada, these three here folks will be hung to the death.
PRDN
First Roosevelt, then Cowboys. America has sent their best men here... Still, they can't beat those ASIAN BABIES!
badonia
(sing along to a jaunty old west tune) oh the cowboys life is a life for me just the open plains & my buddies be careful you don't cross our paths... or hank will batter & fry your ass!
badonia
my parents had left these three in my bedroom to stare at me after i asked for one to many bedtime stories. after years of therapy i finally forgot them & was able to sleep through the whole night. until i opened todays craptions, thanks cracked.
Monkey84
Moments before the horrifying attack, John was able to speed away using future knowledge of the invisible motorcycle.
dennis_d_wurm
Jack's Crap Cakes sure is popular in these 'ere parts... Made from the freshest crap possible, so fresh you can still smell it! Hmm-mm! Just look at 'em!
dsp100252
These are the last surviving members of the Old West showing how they made "special" pancakes for their Indian friends... or was that "special" blankets... which ever had smallpox in it.
Dmitri
good, i got them singing. now i just ease my arms around and brokeback mountain here i come
no1mrnthWICKED
George knew that helping his mexican buddies cross the border was gonna come back to bite him in the ass. This ass-biting came in the form of a borokeback-threesome weekend.
rhinobaby
Surprisingly the Acting in City Slickers 3 is on par with the first two films.
geniuswaitress
For some unexplained reason the backdrop was still wet and the cast had dried.
theschweitz
...and that's why I was late for work. Seriously. Accosted by singing robot cowboys. With batter.
ilovecactus26
The merger between Ponderosa and Chuck E. Cheese's was doomed from the beginning.
keithcsegovia
Before tonight's shift in Waxland, the "cowboys" ready themselves some grub.
Tractor23
The sequel to Brokeback Mountain was even more retarded than previously thought.
Wazula
An accurate depiction of the reactions of a gaggle of fundamentalist neo-cons upon seeing a Mexican hop the border.
brknlocket79
And here we have the reenactment of the "Cowboy hates icing" incident of 1874, frozen at the moment before Ron and Carl had their heads ripped off by Bill. You see, children, Carl was making the icing, but Ron was the one that they took a break from
hulk67851
You see, back in the Old West, prostitution ran rampant because most the men ugly; and paying for sex was the best way they could get laid. Getting a girl shit-faced drunk and sex with animals were also big in those days.
feelingthis
anyone else get the feeling that the one in the middle is just a bloke in a mask?
mithik
"Hey ya'll, sorry fer gitn us lost back'ehr. Ya'll ain't still raw aba--aaaahhhahah!" "Nah Eli, but you might be b'fer we're done wicha! That lube ready yet Hank?"
Kent007
When I said we going to go camp I meant we going on a camping trip, I did not expect you to go put on your Gay clothes.
_Phoenix_
That the wooden statues were anatomically correct seemed both hilarious and pointless.
roey
The red client moans in joy as the yellow man-whore's hand pleasures him while the white bandit robs the sperm bank.
FalconX
"Hey Marv, where do babies come from?" "Well, ya see here Bob, I put my 'plastique' in this here bucket, and then Baby-mama goes and shoves it in her holster der, and nine months later I dig it out with this here slotted spoon..."
McLargeHuge
Left to right: George W.Bush, Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney speak to reports at Bush's ranch in Crawford, Texas.
nirot
The Cracked team unwinds after a high noon riddled with dick jokes and diet cokes.
TAKEITDEEP
OK, WHO WANTS SOME WORLD FAMOUS BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN FLAPJACKS?!!! THEIR FABULOUS!!!!!
Miksho
WHERE ARE THEY NOW? After his break-out performance in "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!," Don Flamenco (pictured, center) found his true calling: Texas-Style Musical Cuisine.
ventronic-ned
Consarnit! Workin those Chinamen to death sure makes me hungry......hungry enough to break out in a song!
chiliconqueso
Proving her versatility as a performer, Joan Rivers shows us that she can blend in with even the best of animatronic shows.
chiliconqueso
To blend in better with his facelifts and acting style, Billy Crystal has demanded all his future City Slicker costars be animitronic.
spoonchuks
Abercrombie's NEW Brokeback 2008 Line: "Whip up some feisty flapjacks with a couple of your buddies after holding each others pistols!" (does not include Abercrombie Fragrance "Sexual Tension.")
el_zilcho
its brokeback puppets!! the one on the left has just been raped, the one in the middle raped the one on the left and the one on the right saw the whole thing and is now brewing alcohol to forget it
mokeyspikeboot
Westworld 2008, These robots aren't just going to kill you, they're ready to cornhole.
cutslasher
Then the director said "What the hell happened to the Chuck E. Cheese Mouse!?"
Travesty
After applying latex to their entire bodies, the actors rehearsed their roles for the sequel to Brokeback Mountain.
Untrustable
Hoss and Jimmy didnt expect the double judo chop from the mysterious gay cowboy.
RockBandInc.
Middle: "Hey guys! You know that Dane Cook joke where every group of friends has one guy nobody likes? Right: "Sure Ted....*Psst* Ernie? You done making that poison batter?
RockBandInc.
Middle: "Hey guys? Ever heard of that Dane Cook joke where every group of friends has one person nobody likes?" Right: Sure Ed...In fact, for knowing that joke, you'll be the first to try my "special" pancake batter. Left: "*Psst* Ernie, it better
Cerynii
authentic to detail, the artists didn't mind laying on the fact obviously that the Old West never found a cure for blatent homosexuality, facial deforminites, and men who really like buckets of white stuff.
Ranger
Let's watch some high-end Video on Demand porn from: www.NeilsSexSuperStore.com and then fuck each other!
Truthiness
The latest Coen Brothers movie: "The Hills Have Eyes" meets "City Slickers", with a bit of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" and "No Country For Old Men" thrown in for good measure. Yeah, it's one weird-ass flick.
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