Other Craptions

This is why China is going to win the Olympics this year.

I have no idea what they're betting on here, but China sure has a gambling problem.

"Mommy, how are babies made?" "Well, Maddox. When a man and a woman really love each other they go to a deprived Asian country and select a photogenic baby from a...well...let's call it a store."

With the tightening of the one-child policy, the birth of twins became an increasingly bizarre competition.

You know, you’re in your kitchen, not bothering anyone washing your space babies, and people just can’t mind their own fucking business

China is taking the Olympic games more seriously than ever by beginning training immediately after birth. The newest rising star, Zao Xhing, is a preemie.

So being right at the equator, we can demonstrate how the baby to one side of the equator is going down the drain in a clock wise motion, while the other goes down in a counter-clockwise motion!

The zoos in China still leave a lot to be desired

Flashing his gang sign, little Jimmy Choo recognizes one of his own.

In the style of Red Lobster, some restaurants allow you to pick your entre fresh from the tank.

"Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. 13-footer."

LEARN calculus in the next 5 minutes or I deflate your flotation device!

Pictured: The horrifying result of cheaply made Chinese contraceptive devices.

See son this is what whould have happened to you if you were born a girl.

Wet Li

Life preservers have become so advanced in China that they've actually moved beyond preserving life to spawning life!!

In an attempt to update Buddhism for the new millennium, the next Dalai Lama was selected not according to birth, but according to buoyancy.

Step 1. Pick baby Step 2. Pick sauce

Now we just turn up the temperature... add some diced potatoes and carrots...

The Chinese prepare for the 2032 Olympics.

Floating Baby Heads! Two flags! Six Flags! More Fun!!

You're gonna need a bigger sink

When it comes to hydroponics, not one was hardcore like china was hardcore

"Sorry Folks, we're close. R.Kelly just bought them all."

Training to take part in Japanese gameshow often starts from birth

"If the dishes are in the baby crib, then where the hell did I...? uh-oh."

i'll just say what we are all thinking... China is just fucked up

"...and by running a slightly acidic solution into one bin, and a slightly basic solution into the other, we should get a current."

sink or swim bitches.....sink or swim...

In Tokyo, competition to get into a good pre-school is fierce.

The Chinese unveil a new discipline at the Olypics... Synchronised Baby Water Torture... Its a real cloud pleaser...

Leave it to the Japanese to invent the bathtub fart diverting ring

Which baby will float longest? PLACE BETS NOW!!!

Mrs. Roberts' 2nd grade class knew it was time to escape when she wanted the kids to bob for baby's heads.

I KNOW there is a one-child birth policy, but is THIS the way we have to choose which one to keep?

"I'll take one, to go."

"There are endless fields, Neo..." "But Morpheus.." "Well, actually it's SINK. Endless sink, where.." "I still don't..." "okay, TWO sinks! where humans are grown.." "Whoa." "Alright Goddammit! TWO sinks where babies are floated! with some RING!

"Fuck man, I like, so need to someone to fucking burp me!" "I know what you mean, Dude. I need to seem some boobage ASAP, or I'm going to like loose my fucking mind!"

In actuality, "The Matrix" isn't nearly as technically advanced as the movie leads you to believe.

I say the one on the right is going to pop first.

What? We ran out of cats.

You think this is bad, you should see how they train their Olympic Track Team.

Out of shot.........Madonna and Angelina jolie paying their money for 3 hoops.

To limit their population even more, the Chinese government has started a new method to choose only the strongest babies. No response from human rights activists just yet.

Piranha feeding time at the zoo always draws a crowd

I want my babyback babyback babyback...

The last round of baby survivor was the most tense!

"What do you think that we should do with the humans now that we have them confined in the prison of glass, Turl?" "We wait, Burlock. We wait."

ooooh i see, so thats a peadophile ring!