badonia
"YOU CHOOSE NOW!""It velly simple, you rike baby? pick baby. you no rike baby, we frush baby, new one come 5 or 10 minute"
BearMan
I have no idea what they're betting on here, but China sure has a gambling problem.
WaistcoatBoy
"Mommy, how are babies made?" "Well, Maddox. When a man and a woman really love each other they go to a deprived Asian country and select a photogenic baby from a...well...let's call it a store."
Monkey84
With the tightening of the one-child policy, the birth of twins became an increasingly bizarre competition.
TechnoCupcake
You know, you’re in your kitchen, not bothering anyone washing your space babies, and people just can’t mind their own fucking business
Leaf
So being right at the equator, we can demonstrate how the baby to one side of the equator is going down the drain in a clock wise motion, while the other goes down in a counter-clockwise motion!
JebusTrain
China is taking the Olympic games more seriously than ever by beginning training immediately after birth. The newest rising star, Zao Xhing, is a preemie.
kubrickstare
In the style of Red Lobster, some restaurants allow you to pick your entre fresh from the tank.
Jeepster
Pictured: The horrifying result of cheaply made Chinese contraceptive devices.
_Phoenix_
In an attempt to update Buddhism for the new millennium, the next Dalai Lama was selected not according to birth, but according to buoyancy.
Leaf
Life preservers have become so advanced in China that they've actually moved beyond preserving life to spawning life!!
HeatherBishop
See son this is what whould have happened to you if you were born a girl.
dsp100252
Now we just turn up the temperature... add some diced potatoes and carrots...
Kingofmars
"...and by running a slightly acidic solution into one bin, and a slightly basic solution into the other, we should get a current."
simonkin
The Chinese unveil a new discipline at the Olypics... Synchronised Baby Water Torture... Its a real cloud pleaser...
geniuswaitress
Mrs. Roberts' 2nd grade class knew it was time to escape when she wanted the kids to bob for baby's heads.
TheSharkguys
I KNOW there is a one-child birth policy, but is THIS the way we have to choose which one to keep?
Patrickivan
"Fuck man, I like, so need to someone to fucking burp me!" "I know what you mean, Dude. I need to seem some boobage ASAP, or I'm going to like loose my fucking mind!"
maitresse73
Out of shot.........Madonna and Angelina jolie paying their money for 3 hoops.
codespyder
To limit their population even more, the Chinese government has started a new method to choose only the strongest babies. No response from human rights activists just yet.
PRDN
"There are endless fields, Neo..." "But Morpheus.." "Well, actually it's SINK. Endless sink, where.." "I still don't..." "okay, TWO sinks! where humans are grown.." "Whoa." "Alright Goddammit! TWO sinks where babies are floated! with some RING!
lismartarse
In actuality, "The Matrix" isn't nearly as technically advanced as the movie leads you to believe.
dazam
in japan child birth is different, you get to pick the parts you want and assemble at home
Roscoe
No one had the heart to tell Taiwan that they wouldn't be making more "Baby Geniuses" movies.
thatdrunkdude
In the sport of baby washing, none was better than Lee Chang. Half the village showed up to see him take on the awesome task of washing TWO babies at the same time.
bpaw
Xiang looked through the glass with distain. Even he could touture babys better than that.
Patrickivan
"Gooo gooo, gaahhh..." Translation in Chinese: "M'goh na, gat!" Translation in English: "Gooo gooo, gaahhh..." What'd you expect? They're babies!
Milkman
"How come the third sink is empty?" "That's what happens when you pee in the water. 3 months old MY ASS!"
Kent007
We just have to wait for the resin to set, this is going to make one awesome paper weight
kisujede
"What do you think that we should do with the humans now that we have them confined in the prison of glass, Turl?" "We wait, Burlock. We wait."
Eoin
Killing the female children became more and more of an exhibition every year in China!
Fern08MAD
To the onlookers this is strange, but ever since Aquaman moved his lab to China, his quest to rule the world of Super Heroes grows ever so WEIRD!!!
skundario
In Sink #1, Xing Ling from Beijing... In Sink #2, Lao Pan from Shanghai... Okay, let the battle of the floating babies begin!!!
Tezzle
Poor Chinese baby. They unable to tell what the fuck is going on. They just wanted spoon for Jell-O: Famous western delicacy. It come in 10 fravors!
Ken Buddha
At the launching of "Chinese Democracy," it finally became clear to everyone that Axl Rose was beyond help.
wavedout
To counteract the recent rise in pink bear attacks, new baby rooms had to come up equipped special protective measures.
Ken Buddha
And so, as you can see, this simple inflatable ring allows your baby to stay afloat while still masturbating furiously with one or even both hands.
rino655
Mom: I need to go out and run some errands, what should i do with the kids? Dad: Oh, Um, well the sinks over there are open so let them stay in there for awhile. Mom: OF COURSE! How dumb of me.
theotrain
sure, you can teach them later, but right after birth is when children learn to drown the fastest.
iceman_419
China's new enforcement of its one child policy was much more entertaining to the masses.
iantendo
What could possibly be out of frame that would make the girl in the middle look it at instead of this???
iceman_419
Lin and Ming knew it would be hard, but if they pulled this stunt off they were in the Olympic Opening Ceremonies for sure.
popmaker
Replacing the cook's Sushi-cookbook with "A modest proposal" seemed like a perfectly innocent practical joke at first...
hulk67851
Man: You should take the intertubes off the babies if you properly want to drown time. Woman: What!? Man: Nothing.
Kent007
And by putting them in cold water just after they born we can get the skin to shrink thus making it nice and tight on the body, the only draw back though the tight skin gives them slit eyes.
Milkman
"Eh, don't judge me! How was I supposed to know flipper-babies don't have gills?"
kisujede
"BABY FIGHT!" "Wow, I've never seen the water variation before." "Oh, its awesome. They agitate the babies by making them swim against a current, then, when the timer is up, they remove the divider wall."
kisujede
"You see, children? Do you see what happens to children who practice capitalist tendencies?"
kisujede
"As you can see, we have engineered the perfect weapon. The soldiers of BabyCorp are virtually indestructible. Now lets move on to the firing range."
Fern08MAD
The Chinnese are tranning he new batch of Olympic swimmers, wait, I think one of them just farted... look at his face, "OHHH, FEELS SO GOOD."
Kingofmars
The Science Fair at Li Yung Middle School had some strange exhibits this year.
paynes
Of course our babies are healthy and clean, now, which one is strong enough to survive the adoption process.
Bell110
Babies coming from a cabbage patch are a thing of the past. This, my friends, is the FUTURE!
Luciferkev
While the green-ringed baby floats politely interested, little Mr Redring decides to launch an attack at the ceiling.
paranoidpyro
Rules for the baby duck-pond game: Red wins you small Green wins you large Choose wisely
superpoop
"Yes children, these are mutated Monkey-Fish-Babies. Whatever you do, do NOT tap on the window!! The head restraints are on for a reason."
Ranger
DAMMIT! If only we had these: 'Cabbage Patch floating mines' in time... Pearl Harbor would have been a great victory!!! www.NeilsNotes.com
Tranorix
Fearful citizens look on in terror as the Aquababies plan to conquer all of Chinasia.
zbeebs
You gotta work on strengthening those kids quick if you're going to have them working in the factories in 3 years.
boredwork
Ping's father looked on with encouraging glances reminding his son to keep his dignity at all costs. His family's honor was depending on it.
phreesh
Say what you want about North Koreans, but in the field of baby torture, they're years ahead of us.
charokee
....still makes more sense than Scientology. Oh come on! You knew somebody was gonna say it!
superpoop
"If they can float, they wan WORK! Drive them to the Levi's plant, and put them to work sewing buttons."
Indigo_Dingo
China have decided to abandon the "time out" in favour of capitol punishment. To stop the protests, they made it cute, as well as horrifying.
Indigo_Dingo
Hydroponic babies...you know, this would explain why the Chinese have such a massive population.
wonkycat
Ok guys, this is how you play, just fling a hoop until you get one round a babies head. When you do, you get to pick a prize from behing the window. Huh? Yeah no, totally legal. Yup.
Lady_Percy
Aquaman knew he must destroy the factory, lest his job soon be outsourced to China.
eqolson
nasea, heartburn, indigestion , upset stomach, I SHAT AN ASIAN KID!!! pepto bismol proud sponsor of of the 08 Beijing Olympics.
EddieBrock412
China, recognizing the fact that Japan is awesome, attempts to imitate Japanese Culture. They may have gone after the wrong aspects of it.
kamehameha
At the test facility, the flotation devices of babies one and two worked properly, but the third baby’s device needs more work.
amandacow
"What the heck is cloged in there?" a few minutes later "well, I got the drain- O MY SHIT!"
ventronic-ned
Now we have water proof babies: just another reason why you can suck it America
sidgustav
The new Japanese game show: Fattest Baby. They are left in the tub and the first one whose head is no longer big enough for the floaty...well they drown. (The prize is not drowning)
kirmizi
David Letterman got carried away with Olympic spirit with this version of "Will it Float?"
Anakrusix
i woke up... for this? i'm goin back to sleep. to early to think up a caption.
Roclawzi
It was the best job Ping Mai would ever have, until she turned 3 months old and her feet touched the bottom
fozzy-bear
So this is what it looks like when Japan makes a live action episode for a cartoon
TechnoCupcake
They ran out of ducks to hang in the windows, next logical choice was obviously babies.
AdamDavidAllen
The Chinese tried to introduce THEIR national pastime... ‘Baby-Drowning-in-Tub-of-Their-Own-Tears-and-Urine.’ (rough translation) But alas, there is no room with such riveting sports as Diving, Synchronized swimming, Water polo, Archery, 18 days w
LexAttack
Baby ring toss is all the rage right now! And if you come after 9 on mondays, they do cosmic ring toss!
_Phoenix_
The tubes weren't used for floating, but to prevent the fierce competitors from talking shit in the presence of such young onlookers.
Chapu
This whole sushi innovation craze has gotten too far. Baby head sashimi definitely crosses the line
hulk67851
Adoption in China was a long, rigorous, and complicated process involving a lot of water and intertubes.
lc9er
And here is where we grow our line of lead-free floating baby heads. Now with 20% more sorrow.
kisujede
"But, I don't see any sharks, mommy." "Don't worry, sweetie, the nice zookeepers are tossing in some chum to lure them up."
arm66
Damn, the claws on these damn Crane Games is never strong enough for the good prizes! I've got one more quarter though.
alexk315
In a country where people throw away their girl babies you have to put in your time very early...even with the freak girls
rooftopduvet
The plug industry makes a comeback with their revolutionary new design. There'll be no more reaching into scum to drain your sink.
injustice
"You go inside the floatation device? Floatation device goes in the water. You go in the water. Shark's in the water.... Farewell and adieu to you fair spanish ladies..."
Bell110
Finally! A way to bathe your child AND wash your dishes at the same time! Thanks Japan!
Skooba
"TRY THIS DELISIOUS NEW TREAT... BABY'S HEAD MARINATED IN VODKA. SERVED WITH A PLATE MADE OF GUMMI LIFESAVERS!!!"
magnumD.R.
That old man is the same height as the little boys. Pedefile or asia'a version of Webster?
Noisewater
"Bill, the neighbors are watching me wash the dishes again! I swear to God I'm going to start closing the blinds when we have Baby Head Casserole."
superpoop
"Sir, your babyeggs should be ready in just a moment. Would you like some more tea?"
theschweitz
The crane game at the local mall was all out of stuffed animals, so they improvised.
Ranger
'Bathing...is it right for you 101' -- a new class taught in Chinese schools. www.NeilsNotes.com
Ranger
The secret to tender ginger beef, is to pre-soak the meat. As seen at: www.NeilsNotes.com
MMaverickX
This gives the concept of Chinese Water Torture a new meaning. I mean, they're fuckin' babies!!! Who does that?!?!
Drknowledge
I pay $14,000,000 for the bragalina twins I want my moneys worth. Now let's hang them over the hot coals.
fresnoGuillermo
this is what happens when you let David Lynch direct a gerbers commercial
xxxMDKxxx
This year was one of the best Chinese Baby Cook-offs the town had seen in years!
boredwork
No matter how close you get, there's no way to see through a two way mirror. Plus, stop touching the glass, it's such a bitch to clean.
superpoop
"Gather 'round! Gather round! The first one to drown the baby, wins a Nintendo Wii, and a lifetime supply of rice!"
WyattEarp
In an effort to help curb smog, Chinese scientist experiment with an infant fart filter
BinLeenk
The Olympic Fever Grips All Wakes of Chinese Life, Including Female Infanticide.
Rascalov
Ju-Ko, this new ''Which baby drowns first'' thing is too cruel. Well I have an idea that just might be crazy enough to work, hear me out; pink flowers.
Starik20X6
1: ... Psst! I hear they scream when they hit the water... 2: No, your thinking about lobsters. 3: Though, despite the differences, they are both extremely tasty! 1 & 2: O_o
Seifen
This is a test chamber to make sure no more naked babies end up on the cover of a Nirvana album
Seifen
This handy device is to ensure no more naked babies will appear on Nirvana covers.
rteaga
she is very insistent that the cat happened to be next to the window and it happened to slip out the 3rd story floor but what she doesn't know is that i recorded her kicking it like if she was gramatica.
rteaga
HOW TO MAKE A BABY STEPS 1. HAVE EMPTY SINK 2. FILL SINK WITH WATER 3. THROW MAGICAL SEED IN 4. WAIT COUPLES SECONDS AND SHA-ZAMMM YOU GOT A FLOATING BABY.
morbo
It took me 3 years and thousands of drowned baby`s. But i think it was all worth it
rhi151223
uh oh. we all out of cat, oh well, plan b, xaou zing! bring me your babys, i have a pran, yeeeeerrrh!!!
melissa
bobbin' for babies is a lot cheaper than apples these days... especially when they're from china!
sonjuro197
All of those babies are female, just thought everyone should know that China made a game out of it. Its more fun than aborting apparently.
Grimreaper987
NOW!!! take baby or we pop thing that keep baby floating. By the way these god damn babies weigh 200 kilo grams
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