Other Craptions

Just off camera: Manny Ramirez masterbating furiously.

Take me out to the ball game, Take me out with the crowds; Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack, I don't care if the mascots on crack!

Teddy Roosevelt found himself in a version of hell that he could barely even begin to comprehend.

After being hit by a sniper bullet, the mascot goes down with dignity, managing one last Funky Chicken.

Just like Craptions, something stupid will come out of nowhere and win in the end.

Just think those asses in back are getting paid to watch this.

It is incredibly easy to audition for a porno.

Unfortunately, Teddy left his big stick home that day.

"That's what you get for calling my mom a bitch!!!"

This is an extremely rare shot..... not one of the baseball players in the background is scratching his balls!

Dear America, We've had a good run, but we're out of ideas. Sorry, Porn

Coming June 2009 CUJO....X By Michael bay

After Michael Vick's public arrest for dog fighting, professional athletes were forced to try "alternative" blood sports.

the whole stadium saw the werewolf carry mayor mcheaddyness out of the stadium. for christ's sake it was caught on film!! but who do you think got arrested for it? that's right, the black guy with the camera.

"Rule Number One: You do not talk about Mascot Fight Club." "Rule Number Two: You do not talk abo--" "Ralph, we're being broadcast nationally." "Shit."

"Hold on, damnit! I've got a pube in my mouth!"

"I keep having this dream where there's some guy filming Teddy Roosevelt being sodomized by Sonic the hedgehog at a Red Sox game. What does that mean?" "Oh, you're probably just a Yankees fan." "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Release the hounds! It's the bastard son of Teddy Roosevelt and Peter Griffin!

The mascot rivalry reached its apex when Teddy found fire ants in his knickers.

Stop attacking me! I didn't "Pop" your "Homedog"

Damn, this Van Helsing puppet show is fucking hilarious!

Must....not....masturbate....to this.

Chuck Norris doesn’t just fight large cats. He fights them in silly costumes

...and it was at this point zombie-freud pondered, "who let the dogs out?"

Canada and Japan said to America: "For Cracked reader, You're just a freak. Like us."

They Teddy Roosevelts, motivated by their downed mascot, came back to win the ball game!

This is an incredibly skilled Tightrope Walk!

"Dancing with the Mascots" This spring on Fox.

Although the route of a more intellectually intimidating mascot was a nice idea, the Fighting G.K. Chesterton's were no match for the simplistic beauty of the Demon Dogs That Tackle Shit, in the eyes of the fans.

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed Singin' and jingin' the jango Floatin' like the heavens above It looks like mascot love

Although the more intellectually intimidating Fighting G. K. Chestertons were appreciated for their effort and obscurity, the simplistic beauty of the Demon Dogs That Tackle Shit won the hearts of the fans.

This is exactly why he said to walk softly and carry a really big fucking stick.

hey wow, look at that..... something interesting happened at a fucking baseball game... right on.

Four years of film school and the camera dude is shooting this.

Is... is that a wolfman? Attacking bobble-head Teddy Roosevelt? On a baseball field? This is some Freudian thing, right?

Teddy Roosevelt tries to retrieve his BIG STICK from a mascot's ass.

Despite the cat's bravery, the sniper still managed to hit Teddy Roosevelt's comically large head.

Tragically, Paul was not well acquainted with the zoom function.

Where are all of the "lots of head" jokes?

"JUMP!!! It's the Cosmic Death Ray!!! OH GOD MY FEET!!!"

Despite the broad smile, is wasn't hard to tell that Pringles lamented the fact that his career had reached this low - outdoor bestiality flicks

...And remember to have your pets spayed or neut... Fuck!

With the failure of the eggs and frying pan image, the new anti-drug PSA was aimed at a new generation. Of course the ad is more effective for those already stoned.

August 6th, 2008: Brett Favre traded to Jets. August 7th, 2008: Brett Favre arrives at the New York Jets training camp. August 8th, 2008: ESPN's ratings plummet due to no new sports content.

Alright pussy, I am about to show you why they call me the rough ridder. Live.

And Teddy Roosevelt never wandered into foul territory again.

Don't fuck with Roosevelt buddy

"HA HA HA! NO Kitty! It's not YOUR turn to bat!"

Though the team was used to furry snuff night at the ball park, it was Pete the camera man's first time.