Other Craptions

Wow, the Dixie chicks have really let themselves go.

The Roswell incident is officially over;the fat lady is singing.

And the winner of the most unusual adoption goes to Diane Keaton.

The worst part is that out of the three people pictured I'd bang the alien.

"so I just flew in from LA... in my FLYING SAUCER! Seriously though what's the deal with crop circles?? funny looking circles...they should be called "Crop-what-the-hell-is-that anyway!"

Someone had told Alice it was bring-your-alien-to-work day, but it was clearly dress up-like-a-viking-bitch-and-sing-karaoke day. Shit!

Ok X-Files, I don't want to believe anymore.

Finally a real Miss Universe competition.

This is shaping up to be the wildest paternity suit ever.

Thanks E.t.-Harmony!

SILENCE....I abduct you!!

18th place? Are you serious? It took me almost a year to make this human puppet and you give me 18th fucking place? Fuck you assholes, now I'm gonna personally see to it that the world does end on 2012.

Just think, there's at least 17 more where this came from.

Janice's bid for the Miss America title was marred by two things: Her re-enactment of the Roswell incident in the talent competition, and the fact that she was butt ugly.

"And for my next trick, I'm going to make all erections disappear."

Wait until those right-wingers hear about instellar-mixed marriages.

Fat chicks in Klingon garb are always up in my shit. Am I right, folks?

Suri Cruise making yet another public appearance.

It was at this point when Charo got up and hit the gong.

Your word Janet is Xenophilia, please spell Xenophilia

Scientology Standup

Even at the age of 50 Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were still going stong on the club scene

Lesbians will let anyone donate their DNA to them.

And the award for saddest hobby goes to...

A glimpse at the Church of Scientology's new initiative to recruit children and the mentally handicapped.

When Mary entered the pageant, she knew that at least one of the judges would enjoy her talent for alien wrangling.

Close Encounters of the Butt Ugly Kind

Fuck you dad, I'm 18 and I'm old enough to date whoever I want to.

Which one is the puppet? The answer will amaze you...

Meeting of the North American Woman Alien Love Association (NAWALA*). *not affiliated with NAMBLA

The Alien's beat-boxing act got much better after he got his "bitches" in line.

Guns N Roses 2008 Tour was a bit of a let down.

I'm here from Pluto to protest the removal of our homeworld from your list of planets. Oh, and can someone turn on the air-conditioner?

Dude, I can see the strings! That is SO totally fake!

You know when you go to Wal-Mart and sometimes you feel better about yourself? Yep...this pictures is totally doing the same thing right now.

Angelina Jolie will adopt the darnedest things.

"Abductee number 18, please step forth. Why do you want to relocate to the planet Trilaxx?" "Well, you see, your honor...I've found true love."

Gwen won the auction at $1,000 dollars for a night of anal probing she will never forget.

Forced to sing in the annual Roswell talent show, Squideff hadn't been this humiliated since Fox had shown that footage of his appendectomy....

Believe it or not, Scientology wedding ceremonies are the least odd part of the religion.

Next on Jerry Springer: "I used to be married to this fatty...Now I'm YOUR Baby Daddy!"

Can anyone tell me the url for the video of their after-party threesome?

Wait until those right-wingers hear about inter-stellar mixed marriages.

Even though he lost the rap battle to a middle-aged white woman, Xork knew that his skillz would roc the mic back on Betamax 7

Strangely the Alien Marionette program, intended to lift the spirits of the patients, hasn't taken much of a foot hold at the terminal Cancer Center.

So. An alien, a viking, and the number 18 walk into a bar......what? You've heard this one?

Between the low budget, Mulder's terminal cancer plotline and the 250 pounds Scully had packed on, the new X-Files movie pretty much sucked all around.

The lady known only as '18' was finally able to avenge the death of her anus in front of a live studio audience.

Thank you E-Harmony!