TheSicilian
Long Duck Dong twenty years after Sixteen Candles. And he still had a better career than Anthony Michael Hall.
tjoister
A swan walks into a doctor's office and says, "Hey Doc, can you get this ugly guy off my ass!"
kaffro
Today, Bjork was spotted trying to bring back an old look. It still didn't work.
Messy
Larry: "What is that Costume supposed to be?" Kevin: "A beautiful swan." Larry: "And why did you pick your eyebrows?" Kevin: "I said a BEAUTIFUL swan."
phreesh
Dick Cheney licked his lips, shouldered his shotgun. This one was going in the trophy room.
satur92002
Two onlookers discuss the situation: Tom: "I'd say... about 3 beers." Andy: "Only 3?" Tom: "Hey... I'm lonely."
Baelwulf
With his recent "Swan Princess" collection, Chin Lao took "transvestite chic" to a whole new level.
CavalierX
The poor girl behind him is just three seconds away from the most embarassing moment of her life.
Rebear
After straining his middle finger from overuse, Alex realized there was a more efficient way to flip people the bird.
misterian
After months of hype and intrigue, the 'Sesame Street' team finally launched their 'spin off' porn channel.
misterian
The 'pious and dignified' look is fine for work, but during 'off duty' hours the Pope likes to live a little.
Questionevil
A buck for a duck. A duck for a fuck. And fifty bucks for a fucked up duck. This... Priceless.
KevinG
Xu Xaio finally found a reason to wear his swan outfit in public. But things really got awkward when Danny arrived wearing the exact same thing! What a Faux Pas!
Solarex
The goose didn't understand what he was agreeing to when Steve offered to help him 'go south for the winter'
Mr_K_Twig
Only a shadow of his former self, Bobby the Ballerina now had to keep his swan neck up by means of Viagra strings.
thatdrunkdude
"Yeah, you know the fairy tale about kissing the frog? Don't fuck a swan... It doesn't turn out well."
DoctorFurious
The foreman soon regretted not being more specific in placing his ad for a "crane operator"
misterian
Sure, everyone loved the stories, but it was always bad news when Hans Christian Anderson crashed the party.
TechnoCupcake
Cluck Cluck fuck a duck, screw a kangaroo, ding dang an orangutan, an orgy at the zoo.
nuro
everytime you use multiple accounts to vote your own caption up god turns a model into this.
mellowd
Although everyone loved the sushi platter Larry brought to the party, everyone avoided his Peking Duck.
Stretch
You can actually see the guy in the camoflouge hat trying to figure out a way to nail both of those chicks.
specie
"There's no way anyone will out-gay my velour shirt and dicky hat", thought Jeff. Jeff thought wrong.
vanilla
Nice post! I also saw many hot sexy photos&videos at --seekingbbw.com---- where many big boob hotties, big booty beauties and big guys meet for
Bell110
"If your erection last for more than 5 hours... and grows a beak... well, your fucked."
DoctorFurious
The community grew suspicious when Doug tried to teach his scout troop "Duck Duck Goose."
sheep44
Ummm, I think everyone is missing the bigger picture here people, why are we even assuming this is a man?
mellowd
After her husband left her, Mother Goose started looking for love in all the wrong places.
Cmac1528
Richard thought nobody could tell, but it was in fact common knowledge that he stuffed his swan.
dazam
This multiple account thing is all lies What sort of person has such low self esteem they need to cheat on a free competition where you win nothing Ahh
Malhal
Clearly this poor guy needs sympathy, he can't even keep his goose from being loose without external aide.
pcyopick
Unfortunately, this poor transvestite could only afford the Bjork knock off dress.
jwhaler
“Oh, no, ladies. You paid Wang to dance for an hour, you’re gonna get the WHOLE hour...”
icy
the sagging fake man tits, the swan like penis, that crazed look in his eyes. in Japan he will be a star!!
empleryEntrance
"Bitch please, how you gonna talk shit about me when you wearing some ugly shoes like those?"
madamadam
Chang Goosecock was originally considered an unfortunate name. But when he pissed off the Fairy Godmother she transformed him into a real Asian.
BootsMcNinja
Lee felt awkward. No one else dressed up. It took him hours. And no one cared where he hid the rest of the bird.
nathanzo
"Dude, do you know there's something sticking out of your..." "I know" interrupted the swan, "And to think, it was only a pimple on my back when I got up this morning"
Chapu
I told Stan that there was probably something fishy about those "cheap Viagra" emails, but he's a stubborn fuck isn't he?
phreesh
Lipstick? Check White dress? Check Nylons? Check Goose penis? Check Dave was ready to crash the Elton John party.
phreesh
Neil poked his head out of the tutu. When was Glen going to get to the damn cracker plate?
Kondoor88
STDs in southeast Asia have switched from "life threatening," to, "Completely Hilarious."
BootsMcNinja
No one at the party suspected the goose had killed a man and was wearing his skin.
beatmonsta
In all of Asia, there was perhaps no moment more anticipated, nor an event nearly as sacred to the people, as the emergence of the the elusive Chinese Grundleswan.
kshipley
Milk Milk, Lemonade, 'round the corner Fudge is made...bend over touch your toes I'll show you where the wild goose goes.
CaptainBob
Though he always showed promise as a loyal Nazi, Jim never really got the hang of goose-stepping.
yoursidewalk
"Hey, I'm gonna go check the craption pic." "Man, you know they only choose the pictures which perpetuate a negative stereotype about the japa-- holy shit what the hell is that?" "You were saying?" "Nevermind."
fresnoGuillermo
Yao had started out the evening depressed that nobody else had chosen bjork for the "dress like a icelandic whore" dance, but after a couple of zima's... it was fuck time!
empleryEntrance
"My girlfriend said if I wore this she would think about that three way."
TheSicilian
Steven Seagal is thinking of ditching his twin Asian hookers so he can make some Pate outta that ass.
Mr_K_Twig
Does Christian Bale know that they are already shooting "Batman vs. Weird Swan-Penis Guy"?
Garlan
That guy in the back is totally staring at the boobs of that hot chick to the right!
BootsMcNinja
Pick-Up Artists require extra confidence especially at parent-teacher night.
FartingBob
Cracked staff parties certainly provide interesting topics of conversation the next day.
mellowd
Everybody was ready to watch the dancer prance when he suddenly brought out his instrument...
opethian
Evan was distraught. Because now he knows that no one will notice his white-guy dreads.
ScoopLV
When the Chinese read about Michael Vick, they decided to start having cockfights of their own...
BadMalanga
He was really hoping that the swan would detract from the fact that his boobs were hanging far too low.
needled
This mans penis appears to have been surgically replace by an animal. Why? We should find out!
Ed_Gein
No one could figure out why this scene was cut from the remake of the Marx Brothers movie "Duck Soup"
leinypoo13a
He finally got to dance with the hottest girl in school. But, while he was dancing his duck woke up and rubbed against her waist. She gasped and pushed him away. Then everyone saw his duck and laughed at him.
ju87
When putting his thing in a duck-like condom didn't help, Steve tried putting it in a sling around his neck in a last ditch attempt to make it stay up.
megaweege66
After his success in Sixteen Candles faded away,Long Duck Dong cashed in on his name on the Gay Ballet circuit.
szuran
Hey, people! There's a goose sticking out of this woman's vagina! Help this poor animal, for God's sake!
OPMLeveraged
Batali introduces his new foie gras service at the opening party. The dish met with mixed reviews.
Bell110
When Yoshi sobered up, he was angry that his friend didn't stop him from preformering his rendition of "Swan Lake on E".
Bell110
The dude in the hat is either really stoned, or really turned on. Possibly both.
badonia
Steve: "Chang, you always get the ladies. For once i want to score, i got my camo hat & baggy jeans. come on help me out." Chang: "I don't know Steve i'm just so damned charming & you can't just turn that off" Steve: "Well....could I maybe pick out
ninthkeys
Steve was pissed. It wasn't even a costume party. Mother Goose would read no children's tale this night.
codespyder
"But Lex, where do you go from here, now The Week in Douchebaggery is no more?" "Wherever God takes me."
HomerJ
Condom? Sexual Aid? Reason to commit suicide? None of that matters. All you should care about is when the the girl on the right passes out from the rufee he stalker friend on her left put in her drink.
superpoop
Being allowed to come to a friends part: $10 White tights and a silk nightie: 25 Tying a swan head on your cock: Retardedly Priceless
superpoop
"Damnit, Paul told me that there was gonna be a bunch of KIDS at this party." * sniff*
DragonFlyJones
I wish I was clever enough to find the Christmas Story/Sixteen Candles joke thats buried in this mess.....
S.Pliskin
The American in the background continues to wonder why he ever thought coming to Japan was a good idea.
superpoop
"In the newest and most provocative superhero movie, 'Captin BustaGooseNut', Jet Lee goes deep inside himself to find his source of inspiration.
keithcsegovia
the gay community will be the reason for the endangerment of swans in the near future.
JoBeDream
The doctors wanted to seperate them at birth but when he recommended this to the parents their only reply was "Not today you quak".
LittleMosesLLC
I think its actually a chick, just dressed like one of those ....you know.....
Duffman19910
When his mother saw the picture, she realised it was time to stop her son smoking crack.
Eoin
I knew Asians were weird but i thought it was only their faces that where different!
Effetal
Damn! didnt make it in time for the first bjork joke... looks like ill never have a SWAN SONG!! BOHOHOHOHO
chidunoz
Thailand trannies unable to pay for their bottom surgeries, adapt their bits into accessories.
IratePirate
At Grimm Stadium's annual fundraiser, recently fired outfielder Kieko Wasiha was overheard muttering "I'll show 'em 'Too many foul balls!'"
Cainbrain
Due to lack of public interest, this year's rendition of Swan Lake was off to a rocky start.
Leo!
Billy remembered what his dad had told him: "Whatever you do at your Bar Mitzvah, do not forget the cap."
Ranger
Michael Jackson caught in the act of goosing children! More headlines at: www.NeilsNotes.com
Treb
Who needs Viagra? When you can use a broken lawn ornament, and the waistband from your underpants.
gypsylor
Souces revealed today that Bjork's bastard child was in fact Angelina's ex-lesbian lover.
classybroad
Today's contest: Bjork or William Hung? Wait til after the break to see these contestants try to decide which one this is!
sofa
Despite a most admirable effort, Jeffery's attempt to fire up his special brand of "Duck, Duck, Goose" fell short.
Lizardking1726
John plan to slowly normalize bestiality wasn't going as well as he might have hoped.
mtrix534
A picture for the troops to remind them what we're fighting for... Adam Sandler's REDICULOUS swan- shaped genitalia.
finalcut315
He's looking at me like I'm te asshole even though he just flipped me the bird.
johnnyxblack
Cock vs Swan... Yet another translation issue that must be adressed before this years olympic games in Beijing.
doughnutbro
Somewhere Bjork is Gearing up her lawyers to sue for the rights to this dress
Ranger
Cale always boasted about his honking cock requiring a neck strap... but until 'Homo Night' at the office... www.NeilsNotes.com
Dith
I don't know whats worse, the guy with the swan boner or the deformed fat check in red to the left of the pic.
Truthiness
Damn it, I knew I shouldn't have stepped into the Mutat-O-Tron 9000 with Bjork. I'd hate to see what the other result looks like.
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