Other Craptions

It took several years before Hasbro's gene-splicing efforts successfully created a Mr. Potato Head.

Ever wondered why you can't see inside cartons of Sunny Delight?

"Excuse me, I'm trying to find some Pickled Alien Roots...?" "Oh, you'll find that in aisle 9: The Nightmare-Inducing Fucked-Up Aisle."

They were the best Supremes tribute band on all of Xarglacma 12.

How Cracked writers are born.

The first rule about Hair Club is, you don't talk about Hair Club.

I have no idea what these are but I will bet $100 the chinese think they increase your libido.

"Professor, I can't eat all of that!?!" "Well then, Good News... it's a suppository!"

What do you mean they ATE your control group?

this is were asians come from

Chinese Root Beer.

Ted Kennedy's brain tumors were far more extensive than the media was lead to believe.

... and so concludes our tour of the Red Bull factory.

Sorry, but does Weight Watchers count this as a bread, meat or vegetable?

James looked at Ethan quite stunned "So THIS is what happens when you mix L.Ron Hubbard's semen with Stalin's pee."

The love of money isn't the root of all evil; THIS is the root of all evil!

Here we have the remains of the Cracked writers who challenged Robin to a fight.

They had told Dr. Wang that tentacle-rape monsters are just figments of artists' imaginations. He would show them "figments" when he released his newest brainchilds on the "Miss Tokyo" Pageant....

Sensing another close election, Florida begins cloning Republicans for November.

Me: "What's this Special Fish Soup, here in the menu?" Chinese waiter: "Well... It's some kind of tentacular monster soaked in urine."

Dear Ed, I never told you that when I got pregnant. Inside you'll find a recent photo of your offspring. -Barbie-

The polyps that were surgically removed from Karl Malden's nose can now be seen at the National Museum of Dude, What the Fuck is That.

If I live through this, Lord, I've learned my lesson: No more ordering from an all-night Chinese place.

Get your own Cthulu in a tube for just $49.99!

The infestation of Seamonkeys would soon be a reality.

Somewhere in the secret Regeneration Wing of the L. Ron Hubbard Institute.

The one in the back looks sad.

You have phobias of trees, aliens AND botched cloning experiments??? Whatever you do, DON'T TURN AROUND!

A new exhibition opened today devoted to stuff the clinic has scraped off Paris Hilton.

you know the aliens from independence day? these are there babies.

When the Museum of Biology made its own stage adaptation of "Roots" its left quite a bit for the thespian mind to wish for.

We'll never know everything they're putting in the food anymore, but more and more kids are becoming vegetables.

What do you want to bet someone showed this to M. Night Shyamalan about a year ago?

When mummy alien, and daddy alien love each other very much, they call the alien hawk and have a little baby facehugger delivered

The Living Linguini.

They just weren't as popular as the pickled onions.

I, for one, welcome our new hydroponic overlords.

So THAT'S where babies come from!

You should see what he did with the cat!

Hank and Dean Venture, stage 2.

The Little Genius DNA Lab for kids.

Transylvanian fruit punch.

Inside look at the Canadian Spaghetti Farm.

Ted Kennedy's brain tumors were more extensive than the media was lead to believe.

I said "Two Beers" you idiot...not tubers!

so if we look like this...=/ i'm staying in the matrix yo. "word"

(Background):"It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again!"

Dr Frankenstein buys a few used politician's brains

In an unreleased alternate ending, "The Last March of the Ents" met a more troubling and sinister conclusion.