Other Craptions

"Sir the Robospider first quarter figures are in... people are saying it's good but it's just not evil enough" "Can we convert it to run on the corpses of dead babies?" "Now THAT is why you're the CEO of Deathstruco Industries sir!"

ALL YOUR TREE ARE BELONG TO US

Somehow chopping down trees in Japan just seems a little more fun than over here

You just know that there is a bumper sticker on the back of this reading, "got wood!?"

After failing to make Cracked.com's "Most Evil Robot" list, Scorpio the Lumberjack vented his frustration the only way he knew how.

What do you get when you cross a tractor, a scorpion and a chain saw? I don't know either, but IT'S EATING MY BACKYARD!!

Robo-Chihuahua was cute and fun to play with, but playing fetch with the giant Robo-Scorpion was pretty intense

Sure, Steven could have used a chain-saw, but then he would have to leave the comfort that only a monstrous robot can give you.

This week on Good Eats, Alton Brown turns cooking hot dogs into a goddamn nightmare.

Even female Transformers are horrible drivers

"Pimp My Ride" has really lost touch with reality.

No Mr.Tree, I expect you to die!

Jerry was supposed to buy a $12.99 axe to deal with one small tree. Tim Allen would be proud, but Jerry's wife was going to be fucking pissed.

--Dude, isn't this a bit excessive? --He stole my wife and kids, Jim. --...but it was a squirr-- --From hell Jim, from hell.

Meh...not impressed, I once saw one with eight legs...

Paris Hilton's custom vibrator gets ready for work

Seth wished he could get the in-dash navigation without having to upgrade to the Robot-Claw package.

Goddamit! Who let John Deer get to the NECRONOMICON?

Steven Hawking V2

And here we see a confused attempt by logging companies to make thier work more eco friendly. Well you have to do something to make the hippys happy!

He-Man sold separately.

"Check it out. I invented something that can cut down trees and pick them up." "Now what do you do with it when you pick it up?) "Fuck you and your details!"

Ever since Al Qaieda started doing most of their work for them Supervillains are having to do what they can to earn a living.

"I can't believe you blew our entire winter budget on this thing... we needed that money for liqour and hookers!"

Metal Gear Solid 5 is just going to be ridiculous.

Gary went to extreme measures to protect himself from a possible Bigfoot attack

The constant battle of Nature versus Mankind became onesided when we looked to Anime for inspiration

"When the hippies protest our tractors and buzzsaws, we bring THIS baby out. The only problem is we have to clean up the puddles of piss they leave behind..."

Weapons of Mass Construction. A new era in getting lumber to job sites.

BRING IT ON, ENTS!!!!

Must be the male of the species. Look at the size of those guns!

Here we see the tractoratus insectiveous rushing to finnish his nest before the winter. Unfortuanatly due to global warming the winter will be colder than normal tempratures and he will not survive. Such is natures way.

It was 3:00 AM.. a call comes into the white house red phone.. Hilary Clinton has gone batshit crazy after losing the nomination..

Bumblebee's worst nightmare: being molested by a 6-legged Spiderbot. My question is, why do they call it a Spiderbot if it has 6 legs? Crazy Japs.

Woodomatic was likely the second least-useful of all the Transformers.

Keeping up with the Joneses became impossible after Mr. Jones brought home his new "gardening tool."

"Sure, it's sole purpose is to lay waste to Rain Forests, but it gets 42 mpg. I'm so torn... wait, did you say it pisses ocelots? I'll take it!"

The design is great, it handles beautifully, it works fast. But was the poison barb necessary?

Even though the Empire's Spiderwalker was about to be dstroyed by the Ewok's trap, it would stiil be adorable

"Jenkins,someone has added a few zeros to to research and development budget.

I for one welcome our new Robot spider/scorpion Masters.

Ripley found a new way to defeat the ALIEN. She could send them all back to Mexico now.

Tired of Pinnoceo's constant lies, Jimminy Cricket took some action

"Now that I've spent millions of dollars on this ridiculous and over sized robot these trees don't stand a chance!" said the man who had never heard of a chain-saw.

om nom nom.

The other loggers had laughed at Tim's small chainsaw. They would not be laughing now, he thought with satisfaction, as he gripped the smooth joysticks of his TimberRoach.

Chucking Wood II: Woodchuck's Revenge.

normaly when lumber-jacks get bored they have fun with the woodland animals; not dave though. If you have a masters in engeneering you would too.

TAKE THIS, RALPH NADER!!