Other Craptions

32 years later, in therapy, Jimmy Doogan suddenly realized why he had become an art critic.

Everytime you masturbate, God turns 2 child molestors to stone.

In Alabama, "The Statue of Disputed Paternity" was a popular place to abandon your children.

After coming upon this photo in an album years later, Steve would decide that his parents were kind of dicks.

Man that kid from the German "incubator" just can't catch a break in life.

The Museum of Bad Posture was only one stop on the Bad European Art tour.

This is Bob. Bob has bitchtits.

Stop voting for people just because they say they got up early. That is their own damn fault.

Introducing Calvin Klein’s newest scent... Pedophile

German theme parks are...different.

"Reflection on Vagrancy" was a stunning work of art with many deep layers of complexity to reflect upon. However, it's placement in front of a Chuck E Cheese pizzeria was, in hindsight, a poor choice.

Three minutes earlier: "I'll just leave you here with these nice gentlemen, while I go in here to have my lasic surgery."

Appreciation of fine art is usually lost upon children. But in this case, baby Bobby's appraisal proved quite astute.

"I say we boil 'em and then we smash 'em.” “No, we should fry ‘em after we smash ‘em.” “Boil!’ “Fry!’ “Boi…” The Bilbo Baggins was the greatest Hobbit ever.

Little Stevie's parents attempt to visually demonstrate the concept of "irony" were completely lost on the child. He just wanted someone to change his fucking diaper.

"Yeah, well, yo momma so ugly when she broke a mirror she di'n't get seven years bad luck cuz it was ruled self-defense!" "OOOOOHHHH, SNAP!!"

Rodin's 'Like HELL It's My Turn!!'

Jack Spratt coule eat no fat; his, err, his life partner could eat no lean...

Let Me Win, DAMN IT! I woke up at 6AM on a sunday morning to get this damn craption.

Medusa as a child

As hunger set in on day three, young Trevor began to regret his birthday wish that all the adults in the world would freeze.

Gay and homeless...as soon as they adopted...it fell apart.

"Look,Slim,It's Meals On Wheels!"

Baby Kevin was unsure which statue had farted, he just knew it stank.

"Let's just slice him down the middle then."

Damien Hirst's latest work, 'I Will Scare The Living Shit Out Of Your Children', meets controversy.

They were getting desperate for plots for new "Home Alone" films

Though unspeakably hideous from the front, when little Tommy saw the detail that went in to sculpting the "plumber's crack", he could keep his emotions in check no more.

Little Timmy called for the birds. The birds would know what to do. The birds ALWAYS knew what to do.

Little Johnny was beside himself for forgetting the magic words to unlock Mick Jagger and Keith Richards for the upcoming Rolling stones concert.

I think someone left a rubber chicken in that plant back there...oh, and those statues are ugly.

The Metal Men's paternity suit was about to get ugly. (Uglier?)

Hey Mark. You should get rid of that plant, and the picture of your mom. You're scaring the customers.

Almost no children were harmed in the taking of this picture.

Little Timmy HATES doing the Time Warp.

Then, Andy Dick was born

"Hey, dude, can you spare me a cigarette?" "Are you crazy, asking me that in front of the kid? Don't you know he just lost his mom to lung cancer?!"

SHUUUUT UUUP!!!

"Ungh" "Phil I don't--" "Shhh" "But Phil come on I mean--" "Shut UP Tom I KNOW I got a rattle up here somewhere.."

It's YOUR turn!

No child of mine will be exposed to that bourgeois Disneyland! No, we're going to Dadaist World!

See, this is why I'm against gay statues adopting children.

Little Timmy was caught in the middle of a very painful custody dispute. He would grow up to become a bitter divorce lawyer and a furry.

After making the baby cry by pulling a dead kitten out of his ass, Phil tried to lighten the mood by showing little Timmy its mom.

Insert generic homosexual medusa baby caption.

This is why gays should not adopt.

This was to be a contest for the ages, who would blink first? Then little Johnny crapped his pants and it was down to two......

Cosmetic surgery gone wrong makes baby Timmy cry. It's making me well up a bit too.

Eventually the fat won the staring contest to eat the babie