Other Craptions

Mary fucked up her plié for the last time.

Man, that guy had the wierdest "last request" ever.

When the Sugarplum Fairies weren't dancing, they were the top Special Ops team in the Nutcracker Prince's army.

"I told you China shouldn't hold the Olympics."

Heston: the Musical!

Swan Lake was good.... but Duck-Hunting Lake was even better!

You know what... yeah, this will do it. This will actually get me to watch ballet. Funny all it took was some guns and a nut with a mask and a stick.

One of the more outrageous conspiracy theories surrounding the JFK assassination.

The world's only gay Stormtrooper found the transition to gymnastics teacher to be a tricky one.

Chris Hansen trains his "Lolita Assault Squad" for an upcoming episode of "To Catch a Predator."

The Elmer Fudd School of Modern Dance rehearses "Kill The Wabbit."

Somewhere, Roman Polanski has a massive erection.

SAY "STEP, STEP, PIVOT" ONE MORE TIME MOTHERFUCKER!

Letting Quentin Tarantino choreograph the National Ballet's latest piece seemed like a good idea at the time...

why you should always clap after the show

"The Hitler Youth Ballet Team perform to a packed house at the Star of David Community Centre" Poland, 1939

Do we even WANT to know where they keep their powder and shot?

"So You Think You Can Dance?" - Firing Squad Season

"...from my cold, dead, dainty hands!"

Tanya was disappointed when she realized she gave the camera man the wrong finger.

The little ballerinas were all ready for the boogeyman to come, as he entered the room through the backdoor absolutely unnoticed!

fearing they were losing audience members to shows with more action, ballet stepped up its game.

The lego man smiled as he watched his girls shoot. After years of rejection from Julliard because he was 'too inflexible' he had finally gotten his revenge. Fully trained shooters masquerading as ballet dancers....they hadn't even seen it coming.

The Columbine Ballet Company ALWAYS got a standing ovation.

The first ballet assasins trained by Guy Fawkes.

Hands up all those who find this strangely arousing...

This wasn't what Angelique thought when the director told her she'd have "a shot at lead dancer."

After missing her curtain call, Anushka was taken backstage and shot for "deserting".

The Baryshnikov Brigade takes no prisoners

This is how the ballet team was able to secure a bigger sports budget than the football program at my college

during the Cold War ALL soviets had to learn to shoot.

Ballet in the South is so much cooler... as long as you're white.

"Get them, my lovies, their Fleur de pas is no match for our flintlocks!'

Less well-known among Stalin's many purges was the 'Night of the Dying Swans'.

The first rule about fight club! Is you dont talk about fight club MINDY!

When they say "Nutcracker" they MEAN NUTCRACKER!

Ballet is not to be fucked with.

Do that pirouette... NOW!

Their exhuburance did nothing to help make the ballerinas believable in the Cival War re-enactment.

Someone is masturbating on this

That chick is totally flipping me off.

The Finnish Ballet and Rifle team was infinitely less popular after the "Swan Lake Massacre".

First rule about fight club! We never talk about fight club MINDY!

What happens when you run out of midol.

The Joker's new evil scheme involved a lot more pussy. Pussy AND guns... awesome.

"Chronicles of Narnia" produced by Mel Gibson.

In response to the recent decline in troop registration, the Army decides to comission the 109th Bellerina Division.

The Marshmallow General and his troops have finally got Lucky cornered.

You can have my tutu when you pry it from my cold, dead ass!