Other Craptions

"Cookies and milk my ass, bitch. I want some fuckin pussey!!!" said Santa with glee.

This year, Santa's only looking for the naughty ones.

Who's got two water bottles and is bringing sexy back? THIS GUY!!!!!

When you actually meet the Travelocity Gnome in person, it's kind of a let down.

Samuel Edward Xavier could never figure out why everyone laughed at his monogrammed shirts.

His twin aqua-hammers and Gauntlets of greater thorns would be helpful, but Larry knew that if he was to have any chance out there, it would be because of his breastplate of +5 charisma.

This is the "hot 18 year old chick" you were sexing up online last night.

Snorg Tees seems to have run out of ideas....and models.

No one EVER asks Santa what he wants for Christmas.

His belly may be like a bowl full of jelly, but his cock is like a steel pipe full of orgasms.

When Hillary withdrew from the race, Bill could finally express himself.

The most disappointing rush week ever for Sigma Epsilon Chi.

Osama Bin Laden chose to hide in public by disguising himself as an average American.

after sleeping for 20 years Rip Van Winkle had only two things on his mind, and he was all out of water..

How Nature says, "Do Not Touch."

Grandpa...

Dumbledore's attempts to blend into Muggle society weren't always successful

Santa for the other 11 months of the year

Billy Idol...2012

Santa's midlife crisis gets ugly.

After his highly publicized divorce from Mrs. Claus, Santa joins a gang of Hell's Angels and ditches the toy shop in the North Pole to sell the kind of snow you can only find in Columbia.

Santa is in town to promote his new line of toys.

When Britney Spears' father turned up in court, she knew the custody case was lost forever

The REAL reason they withdrew Dasani was never revealed to the public.

Attractive, submissive SWM seeks dominant SBF for COMPANIONSHIP only. Must have impeccable hygiene and excellent typing skills. No weridos please.

Bernie just knew that adding that extra dose of steroids to the batch of Viagra was a bag idea.

Many people don't know this, but Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of "kicking your ass and taking your bitch."

Ho. Ho. Ho. Santa's getting laid tonight.

Olive, I canst hide it no more... I YAM WHAT I YAM.

Jeff better show up with his 'SAFE' t-shirt, or else this is going to be one AKWARD high school assembly...

But I don't WANNA!!!!!!

Gandalf over-compensated after everyone kept making those "Gandalf the Gay" jokes.

People look at me and say "I bet he doesn't get much" Well you wrong, I don't get any.

This is what George Michael was really singing about.

The free love society had some notable sucesses in it's time, employing Dave as their mascot wasn't one of them.

"Looks like Grandpa is off his meds again."

When God finally showed his face in Vatican City, everyone had to admit they were surprised. Espescially by how much he hated bottled water.

Gimli prepares for some down and dirty dwarf sex.

After all those years chasing a retarded blue hedgehog on crack, Dr. Robotnik gives up and embraces an 'alternative' lifestyle.

Santa attempts to complete his "Bucket List".

Vim, viril, vigorous, and potent.

CAUTION: User should wear gloves.

Serious business

Are you ready for the sex girls The hot hot Levi big girls Are you ready for the sex girls The right white ultra-white nice nice girls

Althogh his methods were a bit unorthodox, the new Sex Education teacher for Filmore High School really got the kids attention.

Sure he advertised his desire for purely physical activities....but underneath the Kaczynski beard, studded gloves, and frat boy-douchebag backwards hat was a simple man who only yearned for love

Real Men Love Santa.

This fraternity better be worth it.

Hey it's Superhal in his someguynamedkev disguise!