Other Craptions

Diffusing a pigeon is about as stressful as it gets for a rookie

"I'm gonna love him, and hug him, and call him George...."

5 minutes later the bird flew into a closed window, making Pete's efforts all for not.

You thought you'd get away with it. Well we finally got you, you cooing son of a bitch.

"its ok your safe now" the pigeon soflty said to the distraught fireman

Officer Jack McFeathers... I don't like your methods, but DAMMIT you get RESULTS!

Michael Bay remakes "The Birds".

Wait, if the canary turns black, is it still safe in the mine?

When Bob told everyone he was going to "stroke the pigeon," they just assumed he was masterbating again.

The training of attack pigeons is a very dangerous business.

Newest on the Iraqi black market: Combustible Pigeons

Man-bird love requires more protective measures than your standard condom.

The endangered farting blackbird of Timbuktu had to be approached with great caution.

And 'lo, an epic romance is born.

As John prepared to squish the life out of the ungodly beast, the Pigeon tightened it's sphincter, another wave of flatulence having just come upon him....

The rare 'arson pigeon' wasn't rare enough as far as Dan was concerned.

The pigeon exterminators methods were drastic...but they got results.

I want a bus and a fully fueled jet waiting for me at JFK or I'll blow the place. Yeah, a jet. They're clipped, motherfucker.

A bird in the hand is worth....ahhhh fuck it!

MMMM smells like chicken.

"Hey Bob! Leave that pigeon's ass alone" "But its so soft..."

Although his talents are loved by his fellow fire fighters, perhaps now is not the best time for Ken to sculpt his ash pigeon.

Sure, he got caught, but Frankie Pigeon would keep his beak shut, do a couple years in a coop upstate and return the flock a 'made bird'.

"Ta-da! Thank you ladies and gentlemen. And for my next trick..."

As the smoke gathered, Jimmy frantically tried to de-fuse the pigeon but couldn't find the black wire.

And Ieyiyeyi Will Al-ways Love you -oooohoohohoo ayyyyy will always love you

Wait -- this isn't the Maltese Falcon!

You should see the two in the bush!!!

Goddammit Leeroy.

Now, my feathered friend, let's see how YOU like being shit on!

The low-budget version of Robo-Cop was forced to focus on his sentimental side.

The Pentagon spent $43 billion on the "101st Assault Carrier Pigeon Squadron" before the project was shelved.

May 5th 2008 at aprox. 11:33 a.m., Pigeons become Self aware.

Pete didb't care what the guy in flannel thought, he was in love.

I believe I have caught the arsenist sir.

Ironically, the firemen later went out to KFC for dinner.

you ignored the police chief's orders,you blew up city hall & caused a billion dollars worth of damage to the town...I oughta fire your ass right now.....but you cvaught the perps. you're the best damn pigeon on the force mcflighty & i'm proud to hav

"I'm gonna fuck you good, pigeon."

I should have never taught you fire blast...

John held in his scream of triumph, knowing there was work to be done. But all the same, knowing that there was one less KFC on Earth was enough to have him skipping all the was to decontamination.

"'Saving birds is a gas!' he told me....A GAS."

That's no ordinary pigeon... That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered bird you ever set eyes on.

You're not dead til I say you're dead, dammit! Get up, soldier!

Ted was allergic to dalmnatians, so the Esposito fire brigade had to settle for a different mascot.

The pigeon's revenge against Ozzie Osbourne was dramatic!

Hi. I'm Frank Perdue. You'll be safe with me little birdie.

A bird in the hand...

Proof the surge worked...

Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Omaha