knightwhosaysni
Ancient Mayans protected the door to the city by making sure anyone using a battering ram would suffer from crippling h**o-erotic embarrassment.
ShoeShine
3 bedroom, 3,400 square feet, pool, central air, good schools, quite street, evil.
ajp1015
And suddenly the community realized that Barack Obama's church may indeed be slightly racist....
Hydrashok158
It was only through Word of Mouth that the location of the temple was discovered.
Superhal
"Ok, Indy enters through the mouth, then he escapes through the penis, jumps over the side..." "Wait, what?" "Jumps over the side, then..."
Superhal
"Hi, in your ad for 'groundskeeper,' I was wondering why you listed 'dentistry experience highly desirable.'"
bonzozzy
Gruesome by today's standards, the original Mayan game of Hungry Hungry Hippos gobbled human heads instead of little white pellets.
ShoeShine
It's not widely known that Frank Lloyd Wright's thesis project at the University of Wisconsin sucked balls.
CavalierX
"He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of Aaaaaagh!"
Lewis
The adventurers thought that entering through the mouth might be dangerous, but they knew that going in through the back door would be far, far worse.
Ed_Gein
The tribe built a monument to Monica Lewinsky, but did not realize they put the penis in the wrong place until it was too late.
Fairview
Future Kings were asked one simple question: "Is he sucking cock or eating bush?"
fatpatsplat
While the use of bushes was creative, it was still obvious that he was hiding cold sores.
Yabels
Hey Door, did you hear that Brittney and K-Fed might be getting back together?! I KNOW! Isn't that crazy?
phreesh
Heritage fixer upper. Great location. Southern exposure. Haunted by spirits of human sacrifices. Price negotiable.
Roland1232
This Mayan god has no gag reflex and its mouth never closes. It was very popular in college.
Lewis
People had always enjoyed Tomb Raider for its sexual content, although some felt that the "Temple of Deep Throat" level may have been a step to far.
QueenBoudica
On the next Extreme Makeover: Ty and the gang remodel the home of the Xyzopotl family, who have adopted 16 amputee orphans, while running a hostel for transgendered youth out of their home.
Superhal
"I'm sorry Dr. Wicked, but the Mysterian thinks your offer is too low." "Tell him the window glass needs to be replaced and it needs to be repainted." "But you know, the market for lairs is tight now..." "I said, it NEEDS to be REPAINTED."
Superhal
"He said he would leave the key in the mouth of the boy *not* being molested. That mean anything to you?" "I guess we'll find out when we get there."
Lewis
After Uncle Owen's and Aunt Beru's death squatters moved into the farm, and it really went to shit.
Lewis
Despite the temple holding secrets that man was not meant to know and that would bring about the fall of humanity it was still considered important to keep the path leading up to it weed-free.
Questionevil
Work was finally complete in the bong shaped temple dedicated to Cheech and Chong.
bobbo
From the people who brought you Indiana Jones, and who have run out of ideas, comes a tale of spare props: Indiana Jones and the Dark Water Tower.
MrBungle
What gives you the idea that the ancient Olmecs were cannibals? I mean, come on, you need proof.
squarefish
Never take ladies to the Temple of the Great Unholy Doom Creature because you'll just end up embarrassing yourself when you trip over the teeth. Also, it's an automated virgin sacrificer.
Zephyr97
Can I maybe see a picture before a winning craption is chosen? It's like eating blindfolded when the only utensil you have is a steak knife.
Zoo06
"I am the Guardian. You can come if I get to pretend I'm eating you. *NOM* *NOM* *NOM*"
Superhal
"For Sale: Quaint country home, custom doorway, fountain, and outdoor fireplace...no picture, sorry."
Superhal
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." "Were you born a total dumbass or was it the years of drugs?" "I assure you, I'm not on drugs."
Superhal
"Ok, you start tomorrow...did you have any questions?" "You understand I don't do windows, right?" "No problem!"
terriblebob
As you can see, it's south-facing, so benefits from lots of sunlight, in need of some modernisation, great location, and all-in-all a really desirable lair for the first-time evil genius.
spoo
I finally get to a craption early and the funniest thing has already been said, thanks knightwhosaysni
crispy
This rare photograph captures two elusive Courtesy Bushes fighting over who enters first.
Andypanda04
Needing money, the Village people didnt mind being used as live statues at the Mayan YMCA.
manleyart
Adventurer No. 1: It's dark in here, give me that torch. Adventurer No. 2: That's not a torch. Adventurer No. 1: Oow!
SpankTV
The Mayans where a really advanced civilization, here we see one of there famed robot bush trimmers. Theorist's speculate that it caused the downfall of the Mayans, and not Mel Gibson.
zbeebs
The Homeowner Association won't let me hang up windchimes, but they've got no problem with this guy! Man, this is bull!!
Yabels
When "Legends of the Hidden Temple" moved to the Logos Network, the Silver Snakes took on a whole new meaning.
falcone
Proof that even ancient statues could hide behind bushes, jump out at unwanted guests, and laugh his ass off.
Yabels
"Let's go meet our new neighbors, the *CHIK CHIK* Umglaoogaouses...Ah! Pleased to meet you Mr. Umglaoogaous, how are you?" "Me makum head small now *CHIK*..."
assassassin
I never should have let that sculpter make a monument of my face when I was taking a dump. "Art" my ass.
jwhaler
Sadly, after rejection by New York City, Dick Clark's own design for the Times Square Millennium Ball sat largely ignored and overgrown.
badonia
Jar Jar Binks turned to short round & said "ok this clinches it. George Lucas is racist"
MrBungle
After the reign of King Bruce, the Mayans steered away from his "unique" architectural style.
bjm
The most challenging fun house in the world is discovered in the jungles of Central America.
elguicho
When Bunga Kumunga Kubumba, of the Kubulla tribe, returned to Africa after hitting the Mega Millions Jackpot, he was finally able to build the home he and his family always dreamed of.
Zoo06
If you think it's creepy now, wait until it's had too much to drink. Vomiting of that magnitude is unheard of by mortal men.
Critax
What? No thats not Tikiniki's mouth its uh... a door yeah thats it. Uh, okay... *walks in* *horrible screaming*
CavalierX
This is the place Groundskeeper Willy quit to work at Springfield Elementary School... poor bastard didn't know when he had it good.
LilMoof
After the breaking of the spell, not all of The Beast's servents reverted to their human form. Dammit.
K-dawg
It was common for ancient civilizations to build their houses in the shape of an obese, howling man.
Grayson
Han Solo was an easy one. To stop Rosie O'Donnell, the Empire needed alot more carbonite.
dandaman
The lesser-known Machu Fellatiu was deemed too controversial by the school board, so they included that Picchu thing instead.
dandaman
When Indy ran out the door with the giant ball chasing him, the Mayans believed their god was having a hangover.
dandaman
The transition between original concept art for E.T.'s ship and the final result had only one key revision.
CavalierX
"ABDOMEN, n. The temple of the god Stomach, in whose worship, with sacrificial rights, all true men engage." - Ambrose Biewrce, The Devil's Dictionary
CavalierX
"ABDOMEN, n. The temple of the god Stomach, in whose worship, with sacrificial rites, all true men engage." - Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
cheff
The Buddhist people believed working on larger than life models was the best way to teach dental hygeine.
silentearl
"Let the kids of the town design the new baseball staium, great idea jackass."
nirot
The world's greatest beard makes an appearance as a lovely little facade to a torture temple.
Spirit
I think I'm gonna be the first person on this board to make a gay tribe joke! Oh fuck...
n=mc^2
"No! You buy the biggest house in the worst neighbourhood so you can lord it over all the poorer, smaller nations!"
n=mc^2
"That chimney on the top sure is nice", "umm.... Actually it seems that Great Tiki is watching a porno film".
billbeau1
Entrance - known as the "feed hole" - to the Hindu "Temple to the Body of Kali." You should see the exit...
Matthewsaurus
"You may enter, but only if answer these questions three." "What? Oh my God, I'm deaf!"
Matthewsaurus
"You may enter, but only if you answer these questions three." "What? Oh my God, I'm deaf!"
xer0syk0
If your body was crushed by a gigantic metal pumpkin, your face would look like this too...
armyBob
Scientists were baffled when the Red October mysteriously appeared adjacent to an Aztec photo studio/funhouse.
armyBob
People said I was daft to build a jai-alai court in the jungle, but I did it anyway.
Cooper88
Take off your shoes before descending into the belly of the temple, once you get sand in the sacrifice chamber it is IMPOSSIBLE to get it out.
Cooper88
Okay, everyone run out at once so it looks like he's throwing up...1...2...THREE GO!
Treb
DisneyLand Bangkok -- Kids walk in, but they don't walk out. It IS a sad world after all.
Typler
Well kids, we're here: "Monkey Island!" Yay! Now shut up and grab the damn cooler.
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