Other Craptions

Guns don't kill people, Amy does.

Tom Clancy's Rainbow Bright Six.

My Honor Roll Student Can Blow The Head Off Of Your Honor Roll Student

Grand Theft Auto: Recess

Not pictured: Jew.

OK Amy, show me with this 7.62-caliber bullet where he touched you.

You think that's impressive? She can field strip that bitch in 25 seconds flat.

Her mother is clearly trying hard to provide a male influence, what with doing her best to look like a man.

"Bring Your Dad to School" Day was always more interesting when one of the kids' parents was a postal worker.

Dear Sanna Claus, All I wants for Chrissmass is a shoulder-mounted walnut-stock boomstick with an adjustable site aperture and a double-rifled barrel. An' Teflon bullets. And a pony. Your Frend, Carole.

"Boy my step-dad can run fast!"

Okay, honey, now make Commander Cobra proud.

It's not my fault... Martina Navratilova and the dude from Splinter Cell made me do it!

Little Suzie's brother learns that the "I'm Not Tooooouching You" game has dire consequenses.

Even in Texas you can't get away with shooting hippies, unless you're a minor...

Peering into Charleton Heston's wet dream

The British "don't ask don't tell" policy is a little stranger than ours...

"don't worry ma'am. she don't need to hit the target. we just need her prints on the gun."

I think the terrorists just won.

Sniper Wolf, age 8.

With this family photo over the mantle, John knew nobody would every touch is daughter.

Dammit Suzy!!! How many times do I have to tell you?!?! Short controlled bursts!!

Just think, if we gave all the world's guns to the children there would be no more war...or something like that. At least Kid Nation would be watchable.

But does it come in pink?

The police trainer gives the camera a pained look as he finishes watching Susie empty the entire clip into the target's balls.

Alice was going back to Wonderland...with avengence

The Mexico border patrol was really hurting for new members.

Remember dear, before you pull the trigger, always ask yourself, "Who would Jesus shoot?"

JESUS FUCK, honey, for the last time, I didn't think she'd actually GET an A+.

DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS...we train 'em young.

She's really is a military sharp shooter...don't piss her off. Her handlers can't watch her all the time.

Apparently Santa has given up on the "You'll shoot your eye out, kid" argument.

In Soviet Russia, little girl kills you!

When the NRA and the Girl Scouts of America joined forces, everybody thought they were crazy. Who's laughing now?

To ensure the success of "No Child Left behind", the slow ones were shot.

When the Ninjas gave the kids guns the Pirates knew it was time to up their game.

Dakota Fanning is taking her upcoming role in "Sniper 4" very seriously.

Susie always seemed to win the Little Miss Idaho pageant after she started showing her sniping skills in the "talent" portion.

Suzie didn't mind that her friends didn't come to play with her "Barbie's Malibu Militia" playset. She could just play with them from here.

Amazingly not ALL of the Counter Strike players out there are complete douchebags when it comes to newbies.

This is l'il sarah's snipe school. The guy in the mask is a new recruit

Bored with GTA, Jane gets an early start to a destructive life.

VANTAGE POINT: The making

After Daddy-Daughter Day at school, Gillian's classmates treated her much more cordially, though some how colder, more distant.

"I think you've got the shooting down. Now I'll teach you how to knock someone's teeth out with the butt of the rifle."

"I see mommy!" "That's good! Now, just like we talked about, sloooooooowly exhale, and squeeeeeeeeeze..."

"Once I shoot that hooker, I'm gonna get my money back."

After the shot, Sarah's one hope was that someone had a tool to remove the scope from her eye socket.

NOW we can talk about my scholarship!