Other Craptions

No one looked into the green river situation because it was St. Patrick's Day. God was kinda irritated no one noticed the beginning of the Apocolypse, but he shoulda looked at a calendar.

"God, I hope it gets cold enough to become Jello."

Not pictured: Rainier Wolfcastle screaming, "THE GOGGLES! THEY DO NOTHING!"

Relax, this is just a bit of Photoshop trickery. That guy's jacket is actually orange.

Being color blind, Bob could only stand at the water's edge and wonder why they dyed it gray once a year.

There will be a handful of entries that stubbornly ignore the obvious and make a joke about some background phenomenon. Well, there is nothing funny about the 3 people in the picture walking... so good luck fuckers

Very few came out to celebrate Pollution Day.

Eventually everyone came to terms with being a mutant turtle.

Upstream, the Jolly Green Giant unzipped his fly and muttered drunkenly "Veddy funny Mr. Gordon... make a spesha soup for you..."

John knew his girlfriend had always hated his collection of green Jolly Ranchers but never expected this.

But Brawndo has electrolytes!

The resident of New Jersey replied to the tourists, "What? Your water is BLUE? This I have to see."

The River Styx was much less foreboding and far more delicious than one would expect.

Three Mile Island wasn't a big d- Oh. Ha ha. That? No, that's just a trick of the light, really. A baby born with fins, you say? Um, no, that's just...a birthmark. Yes. A mole.

Brett Favre's final Fuck You to the Bears.

The river was so overwhelmingly envious of the larger Mississippi.

And that was the day the Yellow River destroyed Smurf Village.

With all the green drinks served on St. Patrick's Day, we'd like to ask citizens to please refrain from urinating in the Hudson River. We all remember what happened last year...

Lex Luther ensures that the man of steel will never be able to take a bath again.

Nothing says "Happy St. Patrick's Day" like a massive fishkill.

And still the Chinaman downstream is bottling this and selling it at his shop.

Guy Fawkes' Jr.'s plan wasn't quite as ambitious as his father's...but at least he saw it through dammit!

With the completion of the canal connecting the Microsoft campus and the Mountain Dew reservoir, Steve Balmer vows never to miss another release date.

"C'mon God" said Moses. "The Pharaoh is dead, enough is enough."

Neil, ever oblivious to the bigger picture, wondered why it had only snowed on the OTHER side of the river...

Little Timmy stood clutching his head, he knew he should have never fucked with hallucinogenic drugs.

What's so odd about this picture? Green is a natural water color in Mexico.

In the 1980s, Nickelodeon amassed enough slime to last until the next Ice Age. Little did they know that You Can't Do That On Television would be canceled at the dawn of the next decade; their reservoirs stand as a testament to hubris and wishful thi

In a surprise move, "You Can't Do That On Television: New York" blames catastrophic sliming on ignorant public's overuse of the phrase "I don't know."

Spangler, Egon and Ray discovered that it was in fact a river of ectoplasm and that Slimer was back and badder than ever.

Warren Buffett trips, drops wallet into river.

Kermit realizes his chronic masturbation may be a problem.

:Daddy why is the river green? :Because it has cancer son.

Portland was determined to win the title "America's Greenist City"...No matter what it took.

the "lime green river" is one of the lesser known paths to see the wizard

Not surprisingly, Slimer was busted with public urination.

"See that, hon? Those are pure sins washing away for the Easter season. Paris Hilton must be having her annual bath."

Its actually a poetic statement representing the duality of man: One one hand, the people walking show the inherent need for companionship and fear of lonliness. Where, on the other hand, we like turning shit green.

How the Grinch dissolved St.Patrick's Day!

The Boston Tea Party was followed by the lesser known Mississippi GatorAide Party.

I'm telling you that guy screwed us over. Those mushrooms were just like any you'd buy at the st-- WOOOOOO!!!!

What happens when everyone in Amsterdam cleans their bongs at the same time.

"And in other news, humans said an emphatic F-You to nature in Chicago today."

The last remaining vestige of the original Emerald City before it regrettably became Pittsburgh

"Don't worry. After St. Patty's day they'll resume pouring the orange dye in and it'll return to it's original shade of brown."

According to Mood Ring River, the city was feeling melowwwww.

"Yeah, I see how they could dye the water green. Fine. But how do they get that white stripe in it?"

While not prohibited in any way, swimming in Acid Canal was something you just didn't do.

Strange but true: this river is cherry flavoured.