Other Craptions

"Doctor, I keep having this dream where I'm a little girl walking in front of a tank, a pink tank, and its preaching love. Also, I'm skipping. Oh, and I think it wants to protect me" "I've told people they might be gay before, John, but damn"

San Francisco secedes from the union.

Most dads get there daughters ponies for there 7th birthday... But then again CHUCK NORRIS isnt most dads!

You know, the Pink Panzer movies just weren't that great without Peter Sellers.

Affirmative. Target is in sight. Commence Dakota Fanning termination sequence NOW.

Seventeen puppies and six bunnies died that afternoon. The papers dubbed it "The Cutest Massacre Ever."

See what voting for Hilary gets you?

Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea...and war.

Even Transformers had the gay next door neighbor stereotype.

The Don't Ask, Don't Tell military policy resulted in some... flamboyant new recruits to G.I. Joe. Shipwreck was delighted.

"Who put a red sock in the wash?"

And when the general came by on a pogo-stick, Bill knew it was time to quit the army.

After a huge drop in 3rd quarter earnings, Mary Kay gets significantly more aggressive.

To prevent being harvested, some Little Sisters upgrade to the Fucking Huge Daddy.

The Russian version of MTV's "My Sweet 16" was off to a great start in the ratings when on the first episode, the Czar's daughter got a pimped out panzer.

It was designed to fire slinkys for the children to play with. However the end result was a lot of clotheslined and strangled kids.

"The tank knows that there's more than one human. It's not just gonna identify one person and kill everything else, right?" "Mm..We're pretty sure..."

Didn't you know? They signed Michael Bay to direct Brokeback Mountain 2!

If you get rear-ended by this guy, it may not be an accident.

When Dave came out of the closet, he came out HARD.

...and yet they continue to call themselves "pro-life" without a hint of irony.

"So when the terrorists are all laughing and dropping their guns thinking we're a bunch of pussies, we jump out of the bushes next to them and punch them ALL in the balls. It'll be a great moral victory."

Wrong day to wear purple Dakota Fanning. Wrong day.

U.S.Army: We never leave a man's behind

The new stealth tank only shows up on gaydar.

Deceptiqueers, transform and be FABULOUS

That's just ridiculous... Tanks don't need sideview mirrors.

'Tiffany, get back inside this tank or you are grounded? Do you hear my targeting you, young lady?'

Seen here: The most pointless addition of a wing mirror, in automotive history.

My name is Susie. I like, skipping rope, playing Jax, playing with my dog Bones, Bedazzeling war machines...

Jodie's commanding officer later wrote her up for wearing an outfit that clashed with the equipment.

Lord Licorice decides that Candy Land isn't going to be anyone's bitch

Are little girls worth 3 or 6 points?

The military thought it would be even more debilitating to blow terrorists away with a canon that shot those chalky valentines candies that say "I wuv u."

This was her request to the Make-A-Wish Foundation?

The new Decepticon, Ballerinoid, was a hit with the girls.

Luckily, the Autobots were saved at the last second by non-other than Gayotron.

If Olga, the daughter of the Czar asked for a love tank for her ninth birthday, she fucking GOT a love tank for her birthday.

I have no idea whats going on, but whatever it is makes me a little horny

The zombies were completely thrown off by the pussified artillery

We're Here, We're Queer, Now fucking get used to It! Or Else!

It was undeniable, John Rambo had changed with age.

No matter what Sgt. Smithers did, the army would just never ask.

The Breast Cancer awareness group gets more funds than expected.

"Ok, the signs and heart stickers seem to be working... yup... wait for it... NOW! FLOOR IT!"

The US military decided to take a new approach in it's efforts to win the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people.

Hillary must have won the election!

Hours...hours I've been staring at this picture trying to find the "Bazooka Joe" gag. It's in there, I know it...must...find it...

When care bears level up.