Other Craptions

When I play Pop Goes the Weasel, I fucking PLAY Pop Goes the Weasel

It's not the size of the monkey... it's the ability of said monkey to sneak up an a victims pant leg and rip off a testicle.

"It's like a cross between a monkey and a mouse, usually we call it a mo-nkey, or a mo-use."

Ugliest. Pez dispenser. Ever.

"He's a real sweetie when he isn't hungry for souls."

"Die! What?! Damn! Wrong holster"

While it is well established that monkies throw shit, it is a little-known irony that shitheads throw monkeys.

WHAT did you say about my Mother?!?! Hold me back Jimmy....hold me back.

If too much masturbation leads to hairy palms, what the fuck has this guy been doing in his spare time?

Upon reaching the highest Operating Thetan level, the true mastermind behind the Church of Scientology is revealed to you.

Ken thought buying a talking monkey was a great idea, till he found out it was a Holocaust denier.

King Kong thought he was the shit until he encountered enourmo-man.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you marmosets, see pg.32 of the redneck cookbook.

"this is fluffy, he is the destroyer of worlds"

I don't see anything funny about this picture, but then again my grandfather had three and a half fingers bitten off by a monkey whose mouth looked deceptively small.

"Notice how I can give a full body massage to this monkey with one hand. No, don't worry, he likes it...of course he likes it...see? He loves it....take it, monkey."

Master's hands are gentle. Master's hands are clean. Master's hands have been to places That you've never seen.

Barry thought about spanking his monkey but some how it just didn't seem fair.

"Say hello to my little friend." Scarface: Alternate ending.

Ha! I just shit on your pinkie!

What Paul's demon lack in size, he made up for in evil. And excrement. So much excrement.

Paris Hilton's vagina monster takes a deep breath before going back in and playing dead.

I have had it! With these mothafuckin monkeys, on my mothafuckin hand!

"No Mr. Biggles. That's *not* the world's biggest bannana. It's a normal bannana. Just like all the other ones.

We used to think it was an old figure of speech, until Grandpa actually "Smack that monkey right outa yo ass"

This is pookie, destroyer of worlds.

Coming this holiday season, Rob Schneider in...

"I've got work in 10 minutes...yet I won't feel fulfilled if I don't submit a caption...it will haunt me all day...Dammit! Just submit some sort of meta-caption and be done with it.

Pocket wildlife can cover a variety of embarassing socal faux pas.

Bet ya can't eat just one!!!

Mola Ram was surprised as hell when he pulled out Indy's heart.

When Dick Cheney gets really stressed, squeezing a rubber ball just doesn't cut it.

That's Ms. Monkey, if your nasty.

With his training finally completed, Hannah Montana's days were numbered...

"this thing makes a lot of interesting claims if you put your ear up real close to his face." "why's your ear all bloody?" "oh? is it?"

The tiny monkey unwisely initiates a squeeze-off.

I didn't know Dennis Kucinich was so hairy...

As much as James loved his son, he couldn't help but feel embarrassed at how long it had taken for the long-legged bastard to realize he was adopted.

Bereft of new comedy material, Mike Myers trots out his "Touch my monkey!" line one more time.

If he sees his shadow there will be 10,000 years of winter.

'Hello my baby, Hello my honey Hello my Raaaagtime gal'

The latest Pitt/Jolie adoption was having some difficulties.

OMG! Did you see her tits!

Hello lady. Would you like to touch my monkey?

Yeah, they're cute... but they also make this neat crunching sound when you squeeze'em!

"...And this here is my curveball grip. Watch how he'll drop a good foot before hitting the wall of spikes I've set up."

"Do NOT feed the abomination."

It was his first time seeing a cock fight and understandably, the monkey was fascinated.

worst cereal prize ever