Other Craptions

Alright honey, this is enough. The kids are hungry and you've obviously havd no idea where you've been going for the last 100 light years. I'm asking for directions.

The anti-stress toys had been brutally squeezed for the last time. It was time to band together and fight back.

"Curvy Cones: we're putting sexalicious back in road construction"

Everyone had laughed when the Crazy Bones promised revenge. They'd see. They'd all see.

*chirp* beep-beep whlbroop? achxxschnorffflll!! (that totally would've killed on Venus)

"All right Mable, you've had your little "modern art" show...now I want my blow job."

I haven't seen that many butt-plugs in days!

Their World Domination plan was perfect and it began right across the street. If someone would just press that damn crosswalk button.

That was a close one, fellow aliens. I was worried we wouldn't blend into the scenery for a minute there.

"Xorr, you know we explode as soon as someone chants a limerick about our color." "Don't worry, they have nothing that rhymes with that." "Foolish earthlings!"

Those cyclopian jelly-people are takin' our jobs!

Dammit, now I'm hungry for some Cheetos. Thanks a lot, Cracked.

When GM cut thier employees in half , no one expected the crash test dummies to be among the casualties.

All the pawns in chess marched on the city streets today claiming "we're tired of being expendable"

As fate would have it, a giant bowling ball came rolling down the road just as the pins started to cross. Witnesses of the accident say, "Strike!"

This would be odd in any city except San Francisco.

Unfortunately, the gang on the other corner was The Bowlers. Today, blood would be spilled.

they will all bow before the hive mind. we shall take-- oh, shit, anybody have bus fare?

Attack of the Killer Butternut Squashes!

Alien 1: I told you that wasn't a right turn at Venus, it was a slight veer! Alien 2: Curses MapQuest!

The question is not what the fuck are the orange things and what are they doing there, but what the fuck is that chrome thing in the background? Fine, both questions are acceptable.

Dildo crossing.

Why do i have to be Mr Orange?

Barbapappabastards waiting for Barbapappa to take responsibility. Little do they know Barbapappa is busy not bothering to show up all that much.

Reginald, look this way. God...why do you have to be so different?

Teenagers: Just waiting to be labeled

Unfortunately for the Cub Scouts, Chernobyl might not have been the best place for a weekend campout. The walk home wasn't much better.

It was only later that alien ambassador's party realised that not only were lost, but had taken on the form of butt-plugs. This would be the last time they abducted the dutch for cultural information.

For all those who looked at this and thought "Dildo" - I have an explanation for your crappy sex life.

Clits everywhere roid up and organize a rally for men. Despite explicit directions, both hands and a flashlight, men miss the spot.

"Hey give us a break! It's not easy being overweight...and orange...and cyclops....aaaaand bowling pins. Not easy at all."

Bob! Bob! Bob! Oh, we'll never find him, he's probably 2 metres away by now at an angle we can't see.

Some people leave their heart in San Francisco, Prince Charles left his ear plugs in LA.

Having heard of the success of the Bloods, the Blobs formed their own gang but had an uphill battle ahead of them in their quest for street cred.

Unfortunately Sony's new line of XXXXXXXXL earbuds had no practical demographic and were left to waste away in the only logical dumping spot available.

What, you never saw pregnant tomatoes? Where did you think baby tomatoes come from?

Unknown to the herd of Stress-Relief Toys, that mightiest of suburban hunters, the Overworked Pencil-Pusher, lay silently in wait behind the veil of his SUV, preparing to strike.

Giggity giggity!

Actual History in 1795: The Orange Order's secret society turf war with the Peep O'Day Boys, 80 dead, more wounded. (seriously...yeah, seriously)

Oompa Loompa eggs are considered a delicacy in many places.

That was a close one fellas. I thought for a minute we wouldn't blend into the scenery.

Circus peanuts that ran away from the circus.

revolutionary red-screen technology allows the actors to be added to the shot digitally..

The MILLION WEEBLE-MAN march came up a short this year

What the hell?! The cars are driving on the wrong side of the street!!

When Lava Lamps Attack

Hey, fellow Orangites! Check out that modern art across the street! Fuckin' wierdos.

Mr. Peanut's paternity suits come back to haunt him.

They had killed all the humans in this city. Now it was time to move on.