Corpsy
He realized the irony of suffering from erectile dysfunction while being made entirely of wood, and it only added to his frustration.
Lewis
Although pictured in a state of contentment here, Wooden Jesus would end his days nailed to a cross of human flesh.
Corpsy
Before becoming a ritualistic instrument of smoldering demise, the Wicker Man was an introspective youth who pondered the mysteries of the Universe.
Roland1232
Terry gets thrown out of the house after mom finds a stash of horticulture magazines under his bed.
LardLad
Although his friends were gung-ho, Brad didn't know if it was a good idea to attend Burning Man.
Cyanide
Since peace had been restored to Middle Earth, this Ent has often found himself bored.
monneyman3
Give a hippie several miles of hemp and he'll make you a hemp-man... ask him to take out the trash, and you'll spend the next 4 hours being yelled at about why pot should be legalized
Ken Buddha
When Les woke up, the chick from last night was gone, and the way his cock looked and felt, he couldn't help wondering if she'd given him elm disease.
Corpsy
On a drunken bet, Jarvis went into the woods and humped an oak tree. Now he's a single dad.
IrishTerror
You see over there under the tree? That's your cousin Kevin. I told you Uncle Al wasn't just a tree "hugger".
RummyLu
All the other trees laughed at Cecil, with their stupid leaves and stupid parties. But Cecil didn't care, he had vaguely opposable thumbs, a book of matches and nothing to lose...
Princess Heart
After learning that his future was to be crafted into tacky baskets by senile old women and sold to fund Friday bingo night, William took a moment for self-reflection.
Roland1232
Branch felt like a sap being rooted to one spot, but he couldn't just pack up his trunk and leave his family out on a limb.
HyruleanHyroe
And I call this piece, "A Tribute to the Founder of Wickerpedia"...what's that? No 'r'? ...crap.
MetalEngineer
After losing his virginity and witnessing the effects of friction, he stares at the smoldering ash that was his penis...
Trev
It was pretty obvious that The Wicker Man 2 was being filmed on a much smaller budget.
mariam67
When asked if he was planning on moving from the freshly mowed hillside, Josh replied "No, I'm a frayed knot!" Hahahahahahahaha, anyone?
Lewis
Charles didn't know what to think of the girl he met on tallmingle.com. She was certainly tall, but something else...just wasn't right.
Thug
With women always complaining of splinters, Herby wondered if he would ever have a normal relationship.
Rienke
In the future, when all humans are long gone and dead vines have become sentient, they will look down and ponder, "Why is my dick so small?"
wuzzman16
after a bout of riotous sex Ben relaxed and lit up a cigarette, with disastrous consequences.
tattcat
His Star fafing fast, The Scrarecrow makes the hard decision to bare it all in "PlayGirl"
Lewis
Unlike his more robust Ent comrades like Ash and Oak, Wicker was of little use in the assault on Isengard. But he was the only one who could break dance at the victory party.
ruse
After Dorothy returned to Kansas, the scarecrow spiraled into a cycle of self-destruction.
goodapollo
"Some asshole kids stole all my leaves, so I decided to die on their front lawn."
echelon3
I see the Virgin Mary! Oh,yea, then there's root that sorta looks like a man if you squint your eyes....
Corpsy
Those who dared carve their initials onto the Angry Tree were inscribing their own tombstone.
lawdragon
Goddamnit, if they spend one more tax dollar on this "art" I'm gonna import my booze and smokes from Germany!
Xander
Timmy sighed. He pondered, "Will I ever get to touch the clouds like old Mr. Redwood?"
lawdragon
Jesus has gone for a more corporate haircut...but missed the mark a little for, "blending in."
HyruleanHyroe
A tribute to the founder of Wickerpedia...wait, what?s that? No 'r'? ...crap.
Itachi_SaMa
The doctors didn't know where to take her to have her entling so they put her where they thought she would be most comfy. She got in position straight away... PUSH! BREATHE! Someone get the hot water! NO SMOKING PLEASE!!
MetalEngineer
After losing his virginity and witnessing the effects of friction, he stares at the burnt ash that was his penis...
mrbrett
As Tommy woke up from a slumber he realized there was small curly leaves where there were never leaves before.
Lewis
The monster cursed its master, cursed him for not giving it hands and feet and cursed him for making it out of a material that meant it would go up like some kerosene soaked toilet paper when the villagers came with their burning torches.
Flyn1der
The only thing he ever wanted was to be a real boy, but those bastards wouldnt even give him that.
whiskeyandink
On the list of "The Scariest Fucking Things You Could Possibly Run Into In Central Park," Steve came in first, only narrowly beating Scientology.
bannista7
Treeple have a hard time fitting in with trees....and people. This young one, who has yet to hit puberty has lost his way......
bannista7
Not much of a trend setter, Kyle always loved making grass angels, and starting grassball fights.
Ubermensch
Given the female Ents' dislike of sex tree size penis, the species was on the slow road to extinction.
Roland1232
Faction wars broke out among dogs as their marked territories kept moving around.
Roland1232
Lee's midnight trysts at the discount lumber yard finally caught up with him: he got termites.
cora1984
seems it is not a new news,i just read this on tall dating site~~~~Tallmingle.com~~~~,but it is a good news,lol...........
Wisteria
When talking to a jeannie, be specific, "I wish I had a huge woodie" is open to interpritation.
Fairview
The other trees were cruel and would often taunt him about his premature loss of leaves.
dandaman
This Wicker Man prefers open spaces just on the edge of forests. Unfortunately for our subject, so does lightning.
namesnatcher
Yeah, he knew he was gonna be big time, at the corner of Hollywood and Vine
mrbrett
As Tommy woke up from a slumber he suddenly noticed there was small curly leaves were there was never leaves before.
darth-bj
so you just chuck um down there and the bodies just land like that. well.......yeah! well that isn't vary much work at all yeah i know!
Nift
Jonathan woke up with a burning feeling all over. He looked down at his body in utter shock. How long had he been sunbathing?
Mokothar
Say goodbye to gravity and say goodbye to death Hello to eternity and live for every breath your time will come (repeat X4)
Carto812
Poor little spindly could'nt understand why he had been left behind in the seige of isengard, he was only insulted by treebeards special job of "minding the entwives"
amadeus_rex
Woody looked down in dismay. He knew that the forestry service had made a mistake in hiring Lorena Bobbitt.
jackdragon
"please turn to page 88 of your scientology textbook where you will see our leader being reborn."
ToxicAvenger
This was the only way they could detain the infamous tree rapist from The Evil Dead, to root him with the children he spawned.
goodapollo
"Hm...You know..pasta is usually made with flour...I guess that was an important detail..."
redkinoko
And he wondered which should be more disturbing, having very long fingers or a penis that branches out into a full grown tree when hardened.
tango1110
Tim Burton's real life movie of the Nightmare before Christmas just wasn't working out like he had planned.
Kierkegaard
Groundskeeper Dan hadn't anticipated THIS particular complication from the small typo in his "three people needed" classified ad...
morpheus7825
Twig boy finally becomes a man as a realizes the expression "having wood" is no longer just an expression....
granfaloon
Although he tried his best to fit in, the other tree children would always see robert as a "half-and-half."
TonytheEE
The neighborhood watch recently tried a family friendly, safe, and fire-free burning man festival, right in the heart of suburbia. Even the burning man was bored...
Alt
Humans should realize by now that trees only have one leg, now all the males here should bow there heads in shame
senbonzakuya
Whatever it was the sunlight was doing to cyclists with facial hair, Frank vowed to remain in the shadows until nightfall.
Ablative
It was then I realized our cultures weren't so different, I could sit back and enjoy a few ribs while watching the game
Siren60
More than a bit embarassed at not being as flexible as they once were, Peter and John had to ask a co-worker to assist them in a little "Afternoon Delight."
26thofjuly
It all made sense later when I learned that Tim Burton owned part of the golf course my friend recommended.
Ascending_1
Unfortunately for Mr. Wicker, Brad and Angelina had run out of room for adopted children. He must now contemplate telling Ms. Pine that she should have the seeds terminated.
JessieArr
The first time around, the special effects budget for The Fountain ran out right before the last scene.
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