Other Craptions

Unbelievably, his guidance counselor was right on the money.

Tagline: He's not handi-capable. He's handi-UNSTOPPABLE.

Tragedy at the Special Olympics today, as the gymnastics squad practiced a little too close to the javelin team.

"Can we rebuild him?" "Sure, but I am getting pretty hungry..." "All right, lets just shove a bunch of canes fucking everywhere and get some Kung Pow Chicken."

Congratulations. You should now be receiving a beautiful High-Definition signal.

Hey look I see titties

Christopher Reeve did porn?

BEHOLD! The Man Who Cannot Fall Down!

Pictured: Rejected Cloverfield monster design.

Cirque du Solame

Man, his acupuncturist sucks

But, uh, yeah, other than that, France is EXACTLY like the United States.

Do we always have to do it your way?

Killllll...meeeee

In a world where some people are doormats, Jin was a card table.

So THAT'S the guy on the Special Olympics flag!

even their special olympics are years ahead of ours.

"No Tom, you STILL don't look like an unicorn" Sheila sighed.

Even though he was hung like a mouse, Wong had truly earned his nickname: "The Tripod".

"Can you be any more crippled?" (with a Chandlerish entonation)

Jim Carey knew after this he could kiss the Oscar goodbye

The always controversial Ang Lee announces his latest project: "Crouching Pole Man, Hidden Vagina"

Some advertisements of the latest installment in the Rocky Balboa saga have failed to woo the audience into theaters.

The aftermath of an explosion in a walking stick factory...

It never bothers him when people say he's gay, but whenever someone says "he must be Polish" he flies into a ballistic rage.

Hand-stilt-walking-tail-wagging-unicorn-impersonating-felatio is the hot new X-Treme sport this year.

I was wondering why they didn't let Christopher Reeve be in Superman Returns.

everyone thought Wu would never be a face pole prodigy after the accident, but he proved them all wrong

The old men had propped the man out front, as a grisly reminder of what happens when you try to fuck with the elderly.

An encounter with the Omni-Raper would leave you naked and crying in the fetal position as well.

POLEio was a debilitating disease, fortunatly there is an effective vaccine.

Certain spinal injuries can be avoided simply by not being a Japanese movie star.

Try as he might, Paul just couldn't get the hang of snorkling.

Javelin has no business at the Special Olympics.

The "parapalegic gimp" by: M. Knight Shamalan

Seconds later, the test of the underwater lightning rod for humans would come to a tragic success.

So what if I can't do that, I can walk.

So this is how Christopher Reeve escapes from house fires...

While Jimmy's presentation on the Kennedy assassination was passionate, it lacked substance.

Hilary Clinton learned a vaulable lesson on why government paper pushers should not decide what is good healthcare.

Upon hearing news of a "Really Special Olympics" in 2009, Joel began the month-long scuttle to the registration office two blocks down the street.

The Special Olympics are really raising their standards.

And the Christians don't believe in evolution...

The worlds first octoplegic takes part in the 2008 Special Olympics.

Rejected X-men designs

And with this fianl kill, the trio of Invisible Blind Ninjas defeated the last of their sworn enemy: Men With Crutches.

"Baby, I know it's Valentine's Day, bu-" *jams cane in mouth*

Oh, David Blaine, is there nothing you won't do...?

His fellow scientists had laughed at him, called him a fool, a dreamer. But his divining rods had worked. He found pussy.