Other Craptions

Statue-atory rape

After six years of standing completely motionless in the same spot, Barney made his move.

The lion wanted courage, the scarecrow wanted a brain, but all the tin-man wanted was a blowjob from dorothy....

He earned a lot more money after changing his sign to "1 euro for me to stop touching you"

Following the exile of Silver Surfer, the series took a turn for the worse with the introduction of Silver Creepy Uncle.

Hnd jb...hnd jb...

My buddies said you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, is that true? Because man do I have a job for you!

Prepare to be assimilated...BY THE FUNK!

Come on baby, no shame in taking home the silver.

...but other than that, the malls in Chernobyl are pretty much the same. Look, they've even got an Abercrombie.

I'm from the future, come with me if I want to live. See that guy in red over there, he's the Terminator. No really... Hey stop laughing bitch... I'll fucking cut you!

"Listen bitch, I need a heart, and i ain't too choosy about where it comes from!"

Jenny was not entirely comfortable with the mannerisms of the rare "silver douchebags." But then, she'd be damned if anyone was going to call her a racist.

In an attempt to appeal to the urban market, Marvel Comics creates the Silva Surfa, herald of Blacktus, destroyer of nice white girls from the suburbs.

Sure, it was harder to get away with sexually assaulting women in broad daylight whilst waring a fuck off silver coat and top hat, but Barry enjoyed the challenge.

Becky REALLY regretted taking Susan's bet to "touch it and see if it's real."

In a controversial rewrite of the classic The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, the Tin Man no longer wanted a heart; he wanted some lovin'.

Tin Man- The Later Years.

C'mon, guess what part of me is colored gold!

The Ghost of Christmas Savings was getting desperate for attention.

And it was there that Dorothy met the tin man. All he wanted in the world was a heart. A fresh, human heart.

If only he wasn't mute, he could have explained that he had just fallen into a vat of mercury and needed somebody to call 911...

When feeling charitable, suburban tweens would often go downtown and Bedazzle the homeless.

"I swear, I'm so sick of dating poor assholes. The next guy who hits on me better seriously be made of gold. No, I hadn't considered other precious metals, why do you ask?"

I've come from many lightyears away to Tango, do not shun me now!

"OH JESUS," Kelly screamed, "NOT AGAIN!!!!"

Barry was convinced the reason for the law suit was the fact that he had been dressed as a mime. He was pretty sure the silver suit would result in a good amount of giggling, a few phone numbers, and, perhaps, a sitcom on WB.

In Soviet Russia, stature admires YOU

Sylvia realized that her wicked plot was falling apart before her eyes. She'd have to do more than cover the body with lime - she'd have to bury it.

Bob hadn't realized the experiment wasn't entirely successful...instead of invisible, he was just really, really shiny.

No, sir, you can not put your roll of nickels in my coin slot.

Blind Dates: Do they EVER work out?

After Batman and Robin bombed, Mr Freeze was reduced to diving for coins in the gutter. Molesting strangers was just his hobby.

Run 'SpotBitch' Run 'Streetrape 2.0' Error: program shut-down by administrator PatrollingCopCar Install OS "Life behind bars" Run "Frantically protect asshole" Error: Asshole currently in use by another process.

Got any silver in you? Want some?

On February 14th, 2008, Skynet became self-aware.

Kelly quickly realized that when she filled out her profile on eHarmony, that she mistaking described her perfect Dildo, not her perfect mate.

Geneticists evolve silverback gorilla into mildly annoying street artist for a laugh.

I said OIL CAN bitch!

In this scene from an upcoming James Bond film, Fat Loot abducts Sukki Yo Wang.

In retrospect, FPS 2000 might have been a bit strong, even for the Floridian sun.

She knew she was tripping hard when the Monopoly pieces started coming to life.

Some men wait their whole lives for the chance to defend a woman's honor. Today was John's day and was he ever glad he wore his bandana.

Though he initially meant to rob her, her words gave him pause. She was right. He was using Bling to compensate for low self esteem.

After lay-offs at Cobra, Destro had to find other ways to make ends meet...Mainly acting as a male escort.

"I TOLD YOU ALREADY!!! NOOO!!! Your hat is not as funky as mine you silver freak!!!!!"

The Terminator's first design proved far too laughably hilarious in the forgotten past to actually succeed at any mission.

Unbeknownst to many, the Tin Man had a gayer, more flamboyant cousin who worked San Fransisco's shopping district.

Moments later he decides his opening line, "We are hat mates" may have been the thing that turned her off.