Craptions Classics February 13, 2008

Attaining sperm from the near-extinct Barbershop Dolphin was difficult work, but that's why Steve made the big bucks.


Other Craptions

Dewey was given the great honor of adjusting the bendy straws for our giant alien overlords.


Man, it was rough getting a television signal in the days before cable...


You know, those guys over at Anonymous might just have a point about Scientology...


Ironically, after he pulled it, Bobby found himself stuck on the Stop The World I Want To Get Off switch...


While most people might use a banana, a pepper grinder or maybe a beer bottle to make lude and suggestive gesticulations, Chris had to search high and low for objects that gave a more accurate indication.


If I can just pull this giant lever then Lost will finally be over.


Taking a run at it, William jumped towards the pole. "Dammit," said WIlliam, "It missed my anus yet AGIAN!"


Testing for the revised voting system in the upcoming election held very little promise.


As it turns out, no, you cannot stop a train with your nuts.


Oh, David Blaine, is there nothing you won't do?


The rare wild candy cane is much larger and more aggressive than its domestic cousin.


Jack be nimble Jack be quick Jack jump over the...OH FUCK.


Colossus pulled out the dipstick and was relieved to see there was still some human in the gas tank.


Overcome with grief about the naughty list, Santa instructed his dim-whitted elf, Herby, to aim the "Candy Cannon" towards Los Angeles.

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

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