Wembley
Which is worse: Appearing to be sucking off a giant rat, or knowing that the rat's thinking of someone else while you're doing it?
Roland1232
"What kinda mileage you get?" "10 city, 6 maze." "Hmm...previous owner?" "Just an old lady that chased it around every Sunday."
whyimhot
Every New Yorker knows that if the giant rat emerges from the sewer, sees its shadow and proceeds to eats the nearest bystander, they're in for six more weeks of winter.
AdjectiveNoun
My GOD! What have you been feeding him!? Oh...nothing much. Cheese, rat pellets, uranium. Normal stuff...
flyingmnky
Lester knew it was some sort of bizarre street scam, but he couldn't resist the challenge of finding the tiny penis on the giant rat.
IrishTerror
Upon seeing that face in the window, Robbie was immediately filled with a murderous rage he never knew existed. It was him. The man who killed his entire family. It was the exterminator man.
BubbaLove
"No man, I swear, I've got him. Just put your ear to his chest and you can hear his heartbeat. It's amazing! No, you got to get right in there. Closer... Closer... Now boy! Kill! KILL!!!"
Corpsy
"I can't hold him for long! You gotta kick him in the nut sac!" But Harold's pants were so tight. So tight...
Shmichael
So come on down to Sovereign Furniture Supply, where you'll find a PLAGUE of savings!!
PaulTMD
"Yeah, I see your problem. Track marks on the feet. I wish I had better news, but if I had to guess, I'd say your rat's been doping."
Fairview
Police check for signs of trauma as the victim identifies a photo of the man who molested him.
IrishTerror
The more "realistic" version of Mickey terrified most of the people to visit Disney Orlando.
KermitChambers
Schmichael had successfully kept his sexual perversion of performing oral sex on rodents a secret... ...Until he met Roddy HugeRat
Roland1232
"It cost me a mint, but some stem-cell researchers promised me they'd grow me a new wife on his back. One with a vagina that doesn't flap in the wind like a pirate flag."
Corpsy
I have to admit, while your pet rat may be a monstrous abomination of nature, these are definitely some well tailored pants!
Corpsy
What a jerk! Telling me there's a mouse crawling up my leg. He knows I'm deathly afraid of rodents and that I'd probably... what's this ominous shadow?
BunnyBordeaux
OK Harry! You've managed to moon every window poster this side of Manhattan. Can we go home now? The rat is getting heavy.
thevelveturd
After grossly missing with the overhand right Captain Kaki was in for some nasty ground and pound.
Shmichael
They thought it couldn't get any worse when the giants rats came. The giant housecats would soon follow.
awdragon
After months of searching, the giant rat found his muse, and began...sculpting.
OlDirtyBen
Q: Hey, rat! What's the capitol of Thailand? A: Bangkok! ...And then the giant rat ate Doug.
Stretch
"Our bank needs a new image. One that's hip and popular with the kids today. Johnson! What have you got?" "Giant rats covered in blood." "My God, Johnson, you've done it again."
assassassin
Carl's picture commemorating his first ever Employee of the Month award was overshadowed by that huge fucking rat outside.
assassassin
If Jeb was ever going to get the recognition he deserved for being Mechanic of the Year, he had to do something about that rat, namely, stabbing it in the balls.
Fairview
Security gave the anonymous gift one final inspection then brought it inside. Little did they know, this was a TROJAN Rat. Sovereign would burn.
Fairview
Though some pet rats could be trained to use a litter box, John's preferred an open manhole.
Crenshaw
Later that day, Commander Charles "Cheesy" Stevenson would come to regret his choice of call sign.
awdragon
Terry knew the only way to prove he was right was to just smell it for himself.
action
Most of the craptions for this photo will joke that there is a giant rat in the picture. However if you look closely and squint real hard, you will clearly see it is inflated.
JAIlovar
I wanted to make a funny reference to Peter Jackson's Braindead, but none of you would have got it.
Vincent
"Irony," Jeff from Pest Control considered, as the rat prepared to crush his spine "Is a bitch"
usedretainers
Dr. Mattheson was normally a very competent veteranarian, but he knew there was something odd about this mouse. He was leaning towards the animals obvious obsession with astronauts, but he wasn't quite sure...
ManualAutomaton
While distracted by the giant rat mark failed to notice its accomplice "strangely blurry pedestrian man" steal his newspaper
smarter
Ok, Jerry. Please spit Tom out! I know he's a prick and likes to run you around all day, but if you eat him what will kids watch? Cow and Chicken?! Two Stupid Dogs?!
cigjonser
Neil listens for his wife in the stomach of Hank's pet were-rat while Hank checks to see if she's coming out the other end yet.
Roland1232
I spent all my MP on a Summon, and all I got was this stupid T-shirt. And a Gigas Rat.
Roland1232
Ratus American-o No eat paysan-o But here come German-o Dinner for Algernon-o
Corpsy
Ratlor's abilities include super strength, laser beam eyes, and the ability to give invisible wedgies.
brodie
The Giant Rat. The Man he once Loved. And the Giant Maxi Pad stolen. New York's homage to Japanese subculture.
paulmurf1989
were the fuck can you buy a giant inflatible rat for the chinese new year anyway.......... eureka i know just the place!!!
AgentofCarp
The result of Steroid testing: Sure the rat was a giant but a what cost. Bob leaned in to check the damage.
john0
Thanks to the new city ordinance, all giant rodents must be walked on a leash, and have their nuts inspected by strangers with lower back problems.
BunnyBordeaux
Ok, guys it wasn't funny the first time and it isn't funny this time either...my shoelaces are not untied.
BunnyBordeaux
Police are looking for suspects in what is being called the biggest cheese heist in U.S. History. It is not yet clear what their motive is..
wristo
It was a twist of the knife that they strung him up in front of the window display celebrating pioneers of inflatable rat sovereignty.
nuro
"jenny? can you here me? just sit tight, we're gonna get you outta there. but honey.. lets just remember this lesson, and i hope youll listen next time i tell you not to do something."
kingsteve14
The man stared, horrified. Not only had he lost the bet, he had to deal with the fact that a rat had a bigger dick than him.
RhinoDoc
There was no telling was a knife to the gut would do. As the stranger reached for his calf-sheath shiv, Bill released Willard's choke collar.
phreesh
"Dave? Can you still hear me? I found my wallet. Can you believe it was in my pocket the whole time? Dave?"
phreesh
Boris had hoped no one would notice that he had forgotten his plastic bag when he took 'Whiskers' out for his walk. Fuckin' bylaw officers.
kshipley
Yes, that is the astronaut that brought you back from mars. What...I don't know, he MAY be excited to see how much you've grown.
kshipley
Due to the galaxy's shortage of Rancors, Jabba had to fall back to a slightly less imposing creature to put in his pit.
stackismom
He has a tag I'm trying to read it.Oh it says please return to 3 Mile Island.He must be the high school mascot.Jerry was not very intelligent.
big
It's nice that "Chucky Cheese" has finally gotten a drive-thru but you've really gotta question the placement of the speaker box.
assassassin
This has nothing to do with the picture, but I think I may be in love with the new Snorg Tees. She's got legs that go on for days.
Fairview
As a last resort in the search for the missing man, police brought in their "Cadaver Mouse."
Errins
The Domestic Uber-Rat was obedient at first...until he saw that picture of John Connor on the wall...
markem
Hillary was real eager to get out and meet the voters but her handlers said "Not without the leash"
gigaknight
Apparently, the plan b for the cloverfield monster was, lame... "just a big rat" the executives said.
jamhottle
Ratty was starstruck. The moustache of his dreams! "Find me a gallon of superglue", he barked to his assistant, "And pluck only my finest strands of pubic hair".
SNGX1304
"So, you out walking your rat again today Randy?" "Yeah, but he always comes straight here. He can literally spend hours staring at this guy's pic..." "Holy shit Randy! Look at the size of this thing's dick!" "I know Bill. I know."
Lizardking1726
"Well look at that! A Quarter. This really is my lucky day. Wait. What the Fu-"
bcanders
And in a moment of angry passion, Leroy knew the love that had been missing all his life. He was hole. Then, the rat blew his load.
HomerJ
Like his namesake, Jerry though chasing mice would be fun. He was wrong. Horribly wrong.
Carto812
"Next time you order a blow up doll, uncheck the box that say's giant rat, nevertheless you hoist it up there frank and i'll see if we can have a go."
J-BO
In retrospect, telling Joe he was hung like a sewer rat was actually a compliment...
Ranger
That's it little man...stick your head into my vagina and I'll show you a fucking trap! www.NeilsNotes.com
duckwillattack
After Spider Man 3, Tobey Maguire's career never got back on track...ever
Ronster
ahhhh... auto-eRATic esphiciation, choke me, pull my tail dammit! I promiss not to cum in your mouth. Man I love James Caan posters.
LowerIcon
If the rat really decided to cut loose, I don't think that leash is going to stop him.
Treb
Eat me raw Balls and all Don't stop there Eat the hair Come back Jack You forgot the Sac
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