Other Craptions

Meanwhile, Vader's across the street, force choking anyone who tells him to get a fucking job.

Lie I will not, folks. Need money for booze.

Like most of the universe, Yoda had beat heavily on the Patriots...

Episode 3 was hard on everybody.

Long time love you I will.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" "No." "Yeah! You're Yoda!" "That was a long time ago, kid. Just keep moving."

Just asking for handouts, Yoda? At least earn it by offering blowjobs, like Mark Hamill.

another type casted child star "forced" to the street

Yoda wonders what's going on at Cracked that there are so many of these fucking Star Wars pictures lately.

The suburban teens enjoyed the puppet show, but in the end, they still set him on fire.

Yet another Vet fallen on hard times.

Frank Oz learned the hard way that you never tell George Lucas that he's addicted to CGI.

Working as Jedi money doesn't give, shit this fuck, panhandler I rather be.

"What's in the bag? Your mama. Put a tenner in the bucket, I'll buy her a new asshole. I kinda broke the last one, know what I'm sayin'?"

even yoda was a student once.

Yoda took to performing as a street mime just to prove, even if only to himself, that he could do other roles.

Yoda got pretty lazy once he learned how to apply the Jedi Mind Trick via printed signs pasted onto buckets.

Fear leads to anger. anger leads to hate. Not giving me any frigging money leads to a smack on the head.

Despite Yoda's success as a high-ranking Jedi, few people know of his brother Joda's success as a crack dealer and part-time prostitute in Tatooine.

How Dennis Kucinich funds his campaigns.

This is what happens when you don't read the fine print on a George Lucas contract.

Just another reason on why we need to get our borders under control in this country. Now the illegal aliens are taking jobs from our unemployed.

"I used to teach Luke Skywalker, you know." "Sure you did, Pal. Why don't you go make something of yourself?" "I did! I used to be a bigshot! Why don't you believe me!?" "AAGH! Get away from me!"

Oh come on, asshole, you're not even TRYING to look homeless.

A single lightsaber is worth a LOT of crack on Earth.

These are not the droids you are looking for; you will give me a 20.

Force strong in me today is, though mainly left-hand side in.

Don't ever watch Desperate Housewives in HD.

"When in unreachable places dirty I get, at the end of my cane this goes and myself I make clean." "Here, have my Sacagawea coins."

Speak Normally I did until Stroke I had... Mmm...

Yoda's break-dancing career wasn't quite as successful as his days teaching younglings...and someone kept stealing his cardboard.

Curiously, no one noticed that Yoda's hobo bindle contained a dead body.

Jedi mind trick pays bills, buys luxury villa in France.

Yoda's days of imprudent investments and snorting smack off Twilek strippers have come back to haunt him.

Need money for... midichlorean research, yeah, that's it!

Wax on... Wax off...

"I used to teach Luke Skywalker, you know." "Sure you did, pal. Why don't you go make something of yourself." "I did! Why don't you recognize me!?" "AAGH! Get away from me!"

In yodas old age, his dipers became larger and larger until even the force couldnt contain them.

yoda yoga

Eight Hundred Years I have Lived, yet mastered English Syntax I have not... mmm...

Donations to pay for surgery to remove young Skywalker's head from colon. Please give generously: hurts this fucking does.

Yoda was forced onto the streets after his boss at Radio Shack caught him sexually harrassing the new girl, Becky.

Will Force choke for money

Yet another example of MPAA propaganda.

"Work for food, I will."

With the Austin Powers movies forever gone, Verne Troyer turns to impressions to raise money

Walking by him, Mel had the strangest urge to empty his entire life savings onto the creature's mat.

Poor, poor anthony hopkins, once a legend of the silver screen, now just an aids junkie pissing on his pants and tap dancing for food

Sadly, it was too late, as Yoda was already dead, the brown liquid pouring from his mouth. The brown bag f*cker had struck again.