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Home > Craptions > Feb 2nd, 2008
Other (Less)

Funny Craptions

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  • 47 Crack Ups
    Avatar Shmichael

    Despite his wonderful tackling ability, everyone wondered why he didn't just play basketball.

  • 25 Crack Ups
    Avatar Xander

    It's common knowledge that steroids have shrinking effects on the scrotum, but little did we know that they have shrinking effects on the rest of the world.

  • 21 Crack Ups
    Avatar AngryRantingBob

    Not pictured: A 60 foot Lucy setting up a football.

  • 20 Crack Ups
    Avatar IrishTerror

    The monster looked impressive, but because he was a dolphin, he only seemed impressive at first, before ultimately disappointing everyone in Miami.

  • 16 Crack Ups
    Avatar cwb431

    The '72 Dolphins unveil their final plan for derailing the Patriots' perfect season... Mecha-Csonka!

  • 13 Crack Ups
    Avatar randychico

    Oh! Wile E. Coyote! Will you ever learn?

  • 10 Crack Ups
    Avatar Fairview

    110%? No, I've never really had to give 110%.

  • 9 Crack Ups
    Avatar rakuenCallisto

    The japanese fear Godzilla. White people fear black recievers.

  • 7 Crack Ups
    Avatar Crenshaw

    That's right, and you KEEP those steroid investigations focused on Major League Baseball!

  • 7 Crack Ups
    Avatar Roland1232

    All the tuna in the city is now dolphin safe. Transgressors will be punted. Survivors will be punted again.

  • 6 Crack Ups
    Avatar tayser

    Roughing the Statue of Liberty. That's a 15-mile penalty, automatic first down.

  • 6 Crack Ups
    Avatar Roland1232

    Flag on play - Defensive foul, number 99: grinding the quarterback into a fine red mist. 15 yards.

  • 6 Crack Ups
    Avatar ominousoat

    Japan's latest Kaiju movie comes under criticism for vieled anti-American imagery...a cowboy eating a hamburger.

  • 6 Crack Ups
    Avatar Corpsy

    No, I wouldn't really say I'm the biggest Dolphins fan. Lately they've really been kinda... oh, wait, I get it.

  • 5 Crack Ups
    Avatar IrishTerror

    Cloverfield was interesting, but ultimately disappointing.

  • 5 Crack Ups
    Avatar Morris

    And they only won one game this season!

  • 5 Crack Ups
    Avatar Paradukes

    "Come on, they're gonna be pushovers.", "I dunno, I heard they've got this new guy..."

  • 5 Crack Ups
    Avatar scoob

    On the set of Ace Ventura 3: Finkel's Revenge

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar grumnut1

    Despite generous performance bonuses, Alex discovered Pro Football payed better than installing television antennas.

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar grumnut1

    What John lacked in skill, he made up for in his ability to fall across the line.

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar Samantha_K

    For Mike, Getting a Colonoscopy was worse then for normal people.

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar Corpsy

    At first the X-Men scoffed at Tyrone's ridiculous mutant ability to convert disappointment into physical strength. Never has being a Dolphins fan paid off so well.

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar kshipley

    Where the white women at!?

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar twoody

    "Yes you heard me correctly.... 1000 on Miami -300 points"

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar surfwesttexas

    Human Growth Hormone, My Ass. I’m Clean!!

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar DesertEagle

    Just breathe and try to relax, we'll have it out in a minute.

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar Matt

    The idea for the original Cloverfield monster was shot down when everyone remembered how crappy the Miami Dolphins are.

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar randychico

    If you thought that Ghostbuster 2 sucked wait till you see what #3 will bring to the table

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar phreesh

    As much as he raised their self-esteem on the field, he crushed it in the showers.

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar Lizardking1726

    In the end it was not beauty that killed the beast, but rather his poor rushing game.

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar jimmeh_bate

    for years, Greg was bullied by the bigger kids. then Greg got a crane.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar JZuck49

    The government unveils its newest plan to help keep terrorists away.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Shmichael

    Jimmy 'BeanPole' McKowski was famous for his 110-yard field goals.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar grumnut1

    The Lilliputions discovered Gulliver was a mean quarterback.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar djseifer

    Though Paul Bunyan would go on to become one of Miami's greatest linebackers in history, Babe the blue ox was cut early as a place kicker.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar hbl123

    i said just give me the damn ball!!!

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar pizzamogul

    "A little to the left... now higher... higher... right there! Ahhhh."

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Wynter

    Paying homage to thier recent season, Miami officals predit the number of games to be won in the next 40 years

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Fairview

    Move along folks. Nothing to see here. Move along...

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Fairview

    Towing heavy machinery was his job, but football was his LIFE!

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Errins

    After the whole kid-killing, mob-coming-up-to-the-castle thing in his childhood, Frankenstein went on to have a successful career in sports.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Fairview

    On his way to the job interview, Peter thought, "Maybe I shouldn't have dropped that acid."

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Moose27

    well, you know what they say about guys with big feet...they grow huge mechanized dinosaur tails.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Fairview

    Never hire the cheapest mutant containment crew.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar bobboringbaker

    Just in case Godzilla shows up in Miami

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Enex

    As fitting as it would have been for Jamal to play on the Giants, he also loved helmet-wearing porpoises.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar fishmonkeyfiend

    Shit, forget the steroids and HGH, someone should really enforce the use of cranes in professional sports.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Marcos

    The people of New York were none too pleased to learn what the Department of Homeland Secutiry had decided would be their defense against another Cloverfield-like attack.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Poopenmyer

    "Let me put these rumors to rest right now." "I have NEVER used HGH! EVER!"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Shmichael

    Year 2030: Steroids in major league sports is legalized.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar CaptainSpanky

    Giant statue: $300,000 Security detail: $60,000 Permit from City: $15,000 Dropping statue into river five feet in front of passing rowboat with your ex-girlfriend and her douchebag new boyfriend in it: priceless

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar aborym

    The meek of the world, upon completion of the wedgie tank, finally sowed vengeance upon the jocks who had oppressed them for so long.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar poodpood

    Rejected Cloverfield ideas #1. Invasion of the giant jock.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Geloti

    Yea. I thought Cloverfield was pretty disappointing too.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar stweasel

    Bill Parcel's first Job as VP- install the dreaded Ventriloquist defense

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar grumnut1

    It's not the game that worries me, it's the taking of the blood sample.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar ficho

    King Kong went pro!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar AlexFightmaster

    Sure the man is big, but did anyone notice the size of the probe sticking out of his ass?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar hereinidaho

    Though he looked confident on the outside, Mr. Whitaker secretly wondered if injecting himself with copious amounts of helium was really the best way to prepare for his latest role.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar cutsman3000

    Tom who?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar RhinoDoc

    Bob "Big Bruiser" Maxwell would have been so much more effective if he didn't need a crane to push him to the line of scrimmage.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Itsfuckenicht

    " Damn it Jim, please don't tell me he shit himself again... Fuck fuck fuck... Alright hold on I'm sending in the robot. "

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Uggerkarljarl

    You should see the centre!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar nick_soapdish

    With the eye of accusation focused on Major League Baseball, the Dophins unveil their strategy to win more than 1 game: rampant use of steroids and HGH.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar nick_soapdish

    As always, Bill Parcells comes to a new team and wants a defense full of big black mother fuckers.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar balmlb

    Jason Taylor has really let himself go.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar stackismom

    This is the stuff Tom Brady has for breakfast.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar FezBoy

    "This year we'll show the fucking Giants."

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar johngraine

    After their lack of success in 2007, the Dolphins will be transfered to the other NFL: the Nano Football League.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar polykleitos

    rock em' sock em' dolphins.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar usedretainers

    Everyone knows the only way to stop # 99 is a robo-wedgie.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar BunnyBordeaux

    I wonder what his jock strap looks like.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Ruaerikoholic

    Because they couldnt have just gone 0-12, they decided to make a giant pinata of the dolphins that everyon could smash, take that dolphins

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Spirit

    Will everyone stop staring, and help me get this crane out of my ass?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Guitargasm

    Funny thing is, Chuck Norris could still beat his ass.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar grumnut1

    After building the field, they discovered they had no room left for crops.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Dreamsicle

    After months of confusion, the monument erected at ground zero is took down.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar xenex11

    Big Joe was so big... "How big was he?" He was so big they had to use a forklift to give him a prostate exam! [ba-dum-bum]

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar MuscleMilk

    The artist smiled as he inserted the last droplets of steroids into his giant via his ass crack.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar bigbadboots

    "They said these wonder-drugs would make me huge, but they didn't say I would need a crane up my ass to hold me up"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar bigbadboots

    They said these wonder-drugs would make me huge but they didn't tell me I would need a crane up my ass to hold me up.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Corpsy

    We're not sure how and 8-year-old became the new CEO, but once we fix this the big, golden M is going back up.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar vidism7

    i swear i do not take steroids

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar trojanman86

    Milk does a body good, but Human Growth Hormone is fucking insane.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar greybeard

    With John, the quarterback sneak never seemed to work.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Corpsy

    We're not sure how an 8-year-old became the new CEO, but once we fix this the big, golden M is going back up.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar kshipley

    What are we gonna do today Brain? The same thing we do every day, try and take over the world.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar kshipley

    Behold...the only man who penis can touch both sides of Pam Anderson's pussy at the same time.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar soxfan01

    The devil managed to sneak his way into the NFL by putting the letters on his jersey upside-down

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar the_person

    When asked for a statement the Colonel of Muffin Town said, "Only those that serve shall be saved."

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar p2dc

    The Cloverfield Monster didn't quite live up to the hype.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar funnyman

    Bill Bellichick: "Of course my players aren't on steroids... Do you want to talk about the game or what?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar montanaguy

    Chunky soup's new and improved HGH+Steroid line debuts just in time for the super bowl

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Wasman

    With the help of their first round draft pick, the Dolphins were pretty sure they could turn the franchise around.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar chrisdazzo

    White people may rule the free world, but black people are HUGE!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar mac734

    The result of Dan Marino's self-help paper mache workshop.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar mmmm...

    You should see his mamma!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar MrWolf12

    "I told him not to take those steroids from Three Mile Island! Oh, no....here he comes!!" "TAYLOR...SMASH!!!!"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar GAM

    (damn i forgot my gun again, fooling this prisoner will take most of my cunning,.... nay, all of my cunning) /point

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar GAM

    Lower, lower, lower, TOO LOW!,.... lower.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar GAM

    If you drink powerthirst you'll win at everything forever. Powerthirst, an energy drink for men, MENERGY! Made with lightning. Real lightning!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar AdjectiveNoun

    Not Pictured: Cock

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar ZABUCAN

    The bigger they are, the harder they suck!!!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar ZABUCAN

    THE BIGGER THEY ARE THE HARDER THEY SUCK!!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar kewl

    Click 2 see HUGE black reciever 99 behind two men!!!!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar bidiot

    It was done, the giant was contained by a forklife wedgie

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Razok

    Miami Dolphins: Next year, it's personal.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar kajal1321

    Sometimes, supporting your favorite team on your back causes them to lose the big game right in front of you

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar warlordpoet

    He really is our best scale city builder... but why is he in the football get-up

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Carto812

    "I guess i should have double checked the dosage on that steroids bottle, oh well, mabey they wont notice"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar zoidbergMD

    The Bruins got a two-minute penalty for too many men on the ice.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar zoidbergMD

    Let's see the Dolphins go 1-15 *this* year.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar chubes

    Not even umbrellas like George Bush

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Xexus

    Two Burgers, Two Dollars !?!?!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar mariam67

    Shaquille O'Neal decides to make the switch to football.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar ryanclicks

    Someone fucked up...

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar scoob

    Laces OUT, DAN!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar starbelly

    Women around the country began to live in fear, as now the dreaded Super Rape was an all to real possibility.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar toastking

    He'd decided that the proctological surgery of a football players must be done in public. Imagine how pissed he was when everyone faced the other direction.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar MorgueDelivery

    "... and with the first pick of the 2008 NFL draft, the Miami Dolphins select..."

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar hihatpeg

    I'm thinking top 10 or at least first round

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar hihatpeg

    Hey Bill, he's gonna be pissed when he notices you put red shoe laces on his Nike's

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Ranger

    STEROIDS?! NEVER TOUCH EM! www.NeilsNotes.com

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar BrEeZy710

    Even electronics cant help improve his moves on Dancing With the Stars

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar alocracy

    After trial and error with his teammates during shower time, #99 finally realized that a crane could satisfy his "Tail-back" needs...

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar twistedjoker23

    So this is what happens when you mix steroids and viagra

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Doncato17

    I knew I shouldn't have eaten that mushroom!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar pantherjungles

    Obviously Tony's taken more than one shit in his life.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar ZachZach

    Not even this mongoloid giant could make the dolphins any better.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Covertwalrus

    Steroids? Me?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar HomerJ

    Cloverfield 2 had much to be desired . . .

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Slightly_sane

    Whos the hulk now Bitch!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar JessieArr

    "... And he was later ejected from the game and sued for copyright infringement after copying Mario's 'Super Smash Brothers' taunt in his victory dance."

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Treb

    QUICK! Check him for Reefer.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Treb

    When he shrinks, we can trade him to the Lions.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar PeakJ

    ^^vvBA SELECT START. Is that so hard to remember? Left and right happens twice.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar MatthewM

    The solution to the ku klux klan

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