Other Craptions

Mommy, where do black people come from? "Well honey, you see the stork lets them out of a prison cell onto the street..."

Hurry up! We only have about 10 more minutes for our break before we have to get back to Andy Dick's hallucination.

Girl: "My outfit is made out of real feathers" Guy: "Oh yeah? My outfit is made out of real babies"

Dear Penthouse Forum...

Paycheck - 1 Dignity - 0

Nicole Richie may be an inexperienced mother, but hell, she's trying her best.

Wait, how did you know we met on the internet?

By 2009 it was obvious that the Porn Industry was running out of ideas..

After a move this gentlemanly, Teddy knew he'd be tappin them tail feathers later, ridiculous costumes or no. The rohypnol sno-cone was just extra insurance...

Shooting begins on "Little Man 2: Lost in New York"

Rush Hour 4 is going to be WICKED!

Charles Darwin just shit his coffin.

The early witness protection program had some spectacular failures.

It turns out the question used to be longer, but people were just too lazy to say "Why did the chicken and the guy dressed in a baby outfit carrying an oversized bird-cage cross the road?"

Tonight, Tim would find out why the caged bird sings.

Little did Tweety Bird know he was falling prey to Sylvester's latest scheme....

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

"Did you see that guy back there wearing the Member's Only jacket? Ha! What a tool."

By this point in time, nothing could faze a real New Yorker. NOTHING.

it says dont walk dipshits.

The restaurant mascot and sandwich board bearer strike of 2008 cost the industry literally tens of dollars.

The S and M scene on 42nd Street was never the same after Disney came to town.

Fox's new game show "Spot The Prostitute" was harder than it looked.

It may not have been the most romantic Valentines they had spent together, but dammit, she had to give him points for creativity. Later that night, she found out what the birdcage was for.

The uniform wouldn't get him laid anytime soon, but "canary handler" at the Taffy mines was still the cushiest job in Wonderland.

Roy Rogers chicken is PEOPLE!!!!

Sesame Street was just getting desparate for ratings.

Luckily, Clive already had 'the talk' on protecting oneself from genital chirpies.

"Have you seen a couple pandas in bondage gear anywhere? I'm supposed to meet them for a photo shoot."

"C'mon bitch, get in the cage. What are you, chicken?"

"bitch you listen to me, you get in the damn cage and act as a bird till i am satisfied..then you get your crack cocaine"

It might be a weird fetish, but he's still banging that.

WWF cage matches were becoming increasingly more bizarre.

Now Todd, the doctor said no kinky sex for at least a week.Thank God you brought the contraceptive.

Man, the Happy Meals Roy Rogers' gives are pretty full on.

Shhh!! be vewy vewy quiet...

Is it just me or is Pokemon getting a little sad now?

Wow, it looks like Matchmaker.com really CAN match any personality!!!

Geez! Did you see that guy back there with the black belt and brown shoes? Some people just don't know how to dress!

Today's Sesame Street was brought to you by the letters W, T, and F.

Well Jake, it was your idea to get a cat...

"What a weirdo," Christina thought, laughing to herself.

"There he is! We've got him now. Quick, try to blend in while I set the trap. Here, drink this Coke."

American Idol Rejects Unite!!!

The young lady was understandably wary of the young man's offers of room and board in exchange for changing his diapers.

Attempts to sanitise the history of slavery for children were widely criticised.

Kidnappers sink to an even lower level.

Just another Monday morning for the talent at www.furrybondage.com

If you love something, set it free....fuck that, get in the cage, bitch.