Other Craptions

"I would like to move my house to the top of a mountain." "We can't do that, sir." "Well what CAN you do?"

"...It'll be the sweetest pool ever."

"STOP EVERYTHING! Turns out my metal detector just has bad wiring..."

Construction was almost complete before the foreman realized that "inconvenience store" was a typo.

Foreclose this, bitch.

In New Orleans, those unable to afford flood insurance are forced to get creative.

After the nuclear war there will be three things left in world: Cockroaches, Keith Richards, and Starbucks

the giant butt-print means that when Rosie sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house...

the food was awesome but the parking? don't get me started on the fucking parking....

The sweatshop where Snorg Tees are made. Way to support human rights, assholes.

George Bush's original model for the 9-11 memorial came to him in a burst of inspiration while he was playing in the white house sandbox with a sandcastle bucket and his Polly-Pocket Condemnable Structure Playset.

Shmichael is a fucking douchebag

I am Legend has had a major influence on how one young architect thinks.

Cute lil' fixer upper! With a bit of attention, this house with brilliant hilltop views throughout will shine! Call now!

"Yes, in fact I am the king of turd mountain."

What do you mean we spent our budget on the moat? Does this mean no moat monster? What the hell is the point of a moat if there's no fucking moat monster?

They wanted to buy me out, but I was all like, "It's my business, bitches, I ain't sellin'" and they were, like, "You're a fucking asshole, dude." Well, who's the asshole now, huh? I WON, I FUCKING WON, BIOTCHES!!!

The pizza delivery boy rues the day Jerry moved here.

Dung Beetles have evolved a little bit too much

And that was the last fu**ing time Ming's botched a call-in order from the construction crew.

never neglect a clogged septic tank

After 265 seasons of CBS airing Survivor, the creativity wasnt there anymore and they just said "Fuck it"

Johnny didn't think about the consequences of lighting his fart on fire before it was too late...

"How's the reception now?" "Still fuzzy." "Fuck."

Mr. Smith took digging to China as a child far too seriously. In his fervor as an adult, he failed to realize a fatal flaw in his base camp plans.

That'll stop Ted from borrowing the lawnmower

After years of searching, Dr. Klipsring was a little let down when he finally found Atlantis.

"Hello, Wangs Chinese." "I would like some Kung Pow beef and egg rolls." "Ok will that be all" "Yes, I was wondering, do you deliver?" "You see, this is where it gets complicated."

The tiny nation of buildington is home to over 3 people. They haven't left the country in a while though. While they have a fully stocked arsenal of petrol bombs and lunatic strength, nobody brought any rope.

When Zeke saw his new apartment, he blurted out obscenities, thinking "why the hell does this place have a garage?"

Bob the Builder's bulldozer met hard times when he left him for Candy the Pornstar.

What concerns me is that at some point during the planning of this excavation, someone said, "Hey, you guys know what would be a good idea?"

This quick witted Iowa family figured only a moat could keep the campaigning politicians at bay.

Flintstones, meet the Flintstones. They're a modern stoneage family ...

Jack was an old-fashioned but kind man, and was confused by advanced technology such as security cameras and computers. So he went old school with a moat, motha fucka !

Somehow, the new trade centre just didn't live up to expectations...

i guess nothing beats a huge moat...ooops...is that a small pond i see?

Sometimes, when I'm bored, I like to order a pizza. Then, in twenty minutes, hilarity insues.

I'm telling you: the moat will pay off in the long run. The Johnson's got one and they haven't had a SINGLE incident with the armada.

The locale was odd, and parking is a bitch, but the place was surprisingly wheelchair accessible.

Sadly, Tim's business was closed only a few short days after it's opening. Something about not being wheelchair accessible...

Mrs. Everly, it's Paul from next door. Fine, how are you? Listen, your dog has been digging in my yard again, could you please keep him on a leash like we discussed?

Owner refuses to move his store to give place for a new Starbuck's store.

sesame street 2008:The Forclosure

No, No, NO! I want the pool a little further left!

Shit! How am I gonna get the car out of the garage now?

Mr. Johnson stoutly resisted the government's attempts at eminent domain, but he was no match for a creative and determined bureaucracy.

Maybe now you'll quit complaining about mowing the grass?

"And make sure you tell him how you want it. It's not like a haircut, it won't grow back."