Other Craptions

Tonight, on Law and Order: Sesame Street... "Look, I didn't wanna do it! They made me. The little bastards just wouldn't quit with the counting. I don't even remember picking up the knife!"

Please. Please, Larry, just this once, don't put your hand in there! You're a puppet, Steve, you know this is how it works...

Tim just couldn't understand why the girls ran off when he offered to show them his one-eyed monster.

Good Cop, Sentinent Octupus Puppet Cop has its critics.

In prison, the Muppet Show is a lot more depressing.

After Fox canceled Futurama, Dr. Zoidberg fell on hard times and started working the streets. He'd take any clients that would pay.

Now boys & girls, as you can see, Mr. Wiggles here only has one eye. Do you like things with one eye? Because I'd like to show you Mr. Happy, who also has one eye.

At that moment, as Steve slid off his pants, Rupert reflected on his life and swore to himself that this was the last time he would choose the bookie’s alternate payment method.

This puppet smells strangely...like...chlora...chlor...a ...

Now, show me on this puppet where I should touch you....

The look of shame on Elmo's face made Bob regret taking his anal virginity. But only for a minute or so.

Well Steve, this is so hard to say.......and I don't want to hurt you....but I am seeing another hand.

I just cant quit you.

The old 'good cop, bad cop' routine was done differently in juvie.

I know it's pretty baby, but I didn't take it out for air.

Quaaaaaaaaaaaaaid...

DAMNIT MC MUPPET...YOU MAKE THE WHOLE FORCE LOOK BAD WITH YOUR WHOLE SHOOT FIRST ASK QUESTIONS LATER WAYS, NOW THE CHEIF WILL BE ALL OVER MY ASS AND YOUR PUPPET ASS

You were with HER again..weren't you? What does Lambchop have that I don't?

This is what it takes to make it in Hollywood these days, you know that

He had devoted his life to the search, but in the end Jim had to admit that the actual finding of Nemo was kind of a disappointment.

Clifford the Big red Dog heaved the contents of his stomach on the ground. He had not swallowed, He had failed. His punishment would be severe.

So... please tell me again, where did Big Bird touch you?

It's ok...just show us on the man where Grover touched you and this will all be over.

NBC didn't have nearly as much success with their spinoff "To Catch a Puppeter"

He was the only witness to the infamous Nightmare on Sesame Street. But something about his testimony made the detective uneasy...

Boogle related to the psychiatrist how devasted he was when Oscar the Grouch turned down his offer to star in "Two Puppets, One Garbage Can" with him.

I'm betting you didn't expect THIS from Cloverfield!

keep looking bro.....it aint gonna git bigger

Shoomie was OK with the bi-monthly prostate checkup, but this reach-around was uncalled for.

Snoopy had had just about enough of this twat pulling his hat down

Yeah, I have no idea what the fuck I'm looking at either.

It wasn't long until little Scotty noticed the differences between him and the other kids at school.

This is the look of someone who spends their days with a creepy guy's hand up their ass

Hey Kid! Want a doll? Look at the doll, LOOK AT THE DOLL!

I know it feels strange, but it doesn't make you GAY!

An aged Muppet looks back on a career spanning 4 decades in the adult publishing industry the new biopic movie in "The People vs Hairy Lint" (sorry)

Zoidberg mentally preparing himself for his first ametuer porn role, while co-star "Prostate Pirate Pete" gives him some words of advice.

his thing, which seemed instinct with a fearsome and unnatural malignancy, was of a somewhat bloated corpulence, and squatted evilly on a rectangular block and was covered in red felt.

Stone Cold Steve Austin says "stop puppet abuse"

Howard Lederer was a poker playing machine, and had no problem taking the last dime even from desperate muppets.

JJ Abrams had a bizarre uncle whose drunken cribside antics would serve to inspire Cloverfield in many ways.

Zwoopy could tell from the look on Charlie's face that he wasn't going to help move the body.

For some reason, the Puppet Gloves Boxing Association never garnered much of a following.

GODDAMMIT! i've told you to watch where you aim that! if you're gonna force me to do it, at least warn me! FUCK everything's fuzzy now. you know i only have one eye!

John never realized that women were freaked out by men staring at them from the shadows.

Steve looked warily at his red magician's hat...it had an EYE!

A one eye joke...that was too low even for you...

Puppet Rape is a crime.

Hi, my name is Ted. Do you come around here often?