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Home > Craptions > Jan 25th, 2008
Other (Less)

Funny Craptions

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  • 47 Crack Ups
    Avatar AdjectiveNoun

    Tonight, on Law and Order: Sesame Street... "Look, I didn't wanna do it! They made me. The little bastards just wouldn't quit with the counting. I don't even remember picking up the knife!"

  • 38 Crack Ups
    Avatar zbeebs

    Please. Please, Larry, just this once, don't put your hand in there! You're a puppet, Steve, you know this is how it works...

  • 27 Crack Ups
    Avatar Worzel

    Tim just couldn't understand why the girls ran off when he offered to show them his one-eyed monster.

  • 23 Crack Ups
    Avatar dogico

    Good Cop, Sentinent Octupus Puppet Cop has its critics.

  • 19 Crack Ups
    Avatar Austin316

    In prison, the Muppet Show is a lot more depressing.

  • 11 Crack Ups
    Avatar omgtehlindsay

    After Fox canceled Futurama, Dr. Zoidberg fell on hard times and started working the streets. He'd take any clients that would pay.

  • 11 Crack Ups
    Avatar flyingmnky

    Now boys & girls, as you can see, Mr. Wiggles here only has one eye. Do you like things with one eye? Because I'd like to show you Mr. Happy, who also has one eye.

  • 10 Crack Ups
    Avatar assassassin

    At that moment, as Steve slid off his pants, Rupert reflected on his life and swore to himself that this was the last time he would choose the bookie’s alternate payment method.

  • 9 Crack Ups
    Avatar Crenshaw

    Now, show me on this puppet where I should touch you....

  • 9 Crack Ups
    Avatar Daercoma

    This puppet smells strangely...like...chlora...chlor...a ...

  • 8 Crack Ups
    Avatar RhinoDoc

    The look of shame on Elmo's face made Bob regret taking his anal virginity. But only for a minute or so.

  • 7 Crack Ups
    Avatar regulator

    Well Steve, this is so hard to say.......and I don't want to hurt you....but I am seeing another hand.

  • 7 Crack Ups
    Avatar cutsman3000

    I just cant quit you.

  • 5 Crack Ups
    Avatar rafa88offspring

    I know it's pretty baby, but I didn't take it out for air.

  • 5 Crack Ups
    Avatar aborym

    Quaaaaaaaaaaaaaid...

  • 5 Crack Ups
    Avatar winkihed

    The old 'good cop, bad cop' routine was done differently in juvie.

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar Jebus

    This is what it takes to make it in Hollywood these days, you know that

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar Ruaerikoholic

    DAMNIT MC MUPPET...YOU MAKE THE WHOLE FORCE LOOK BAD WITH YOUR WHOLE SHOOT FIRST ASK QUESTIONS LATER WAYS, NOW THE CHEIF WILL BE ALL OVER MY ASS AND YOUR PUPPET ASS

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar BunnyBordeaux

    You were with HER again..weren't you? What does Lambchop have that I don't?

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar kgbholman

    He had devoted his life to the search, but in the end Jim had to admit that the actual finding of Nemo was kind of a disappointment.

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar marinneil

    NBC didn't have nearly as much success with their spinoff "To Catch a Puppeter"

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar lackofsoup

    Clifford the Big red Dog heaved the contents of his stomach on the ground. He had not swallowed, He had failed. His punishment would be severe.

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar NeoRudeboy

    He was the only witness to the infamous Nightmare on Sesame Street. But something about his testimony made the detective uneasy...

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar beeteater30

    Boogle related to the psychiatrist how devasted he was when Oscar the Grouch turned down his offer to star in "Two Puppets, One Garbage Can" with him.

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar cullmac

    So... please tell me again, where did Big Bird touch you?

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar scoob

    It's ok...just show us on the man where Grover touched you and this will all be over.

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar HomerJ

    I'm betting you didn't expect THIS from Cloverfield!

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar mnemosyne23

    Zwoopy could tell from the look on Charlie's face that he wasn't going to help move the body.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar ThomasJay

    For some reason, the Puppet Gloves Boxing Association never garnered much of a following.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar aborym

    JJ Abrams had a bizarre uncle whose drunken cribside antics would serve to inspire Cloverfield in many ways.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar cigjonser

    Howard Lederer was a poker playing machine, and had no problem taking the last dime even from desperate muppets.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar MuscleMilk

    Stone Cold Steve Austin says "stop puppet abuse"

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Sir

    Zoidberg mentally preparing himself for his first ametuer porn role, while co-star "Prostate Pirate Pete" gives him some words of advice.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Captain Smokes

    his thing, which seemed instinct with a fearsome and unnatural malignancy, was of a somewhat bloated corpulence, and squatted evilly on a rectangular block and was covered in red felt.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar NeoRudeboy

    An aged Muppet looks back on a career spanning 4 decades in the adult publishing industry the new biopic movie in "The People vs Hairy Lint" (sorry)

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Roland1232

    Shoomie was OK with the bi-monthly prostate checkup, but this reach-around was uncalled for.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar rengal

    Snoopy had had just about enough of this twat pulling his hat down

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar NookEMonster

    Yeah, I have no idea what the fuck I'm looking at either.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar crayola5150

    This is the look of someone who spends their days with a creepy guy's hand up their ass

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar cshanejor

    I know it feels strange, but it doesn't make you GAY!

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar timeformorecake

    Hey Kid! Want a doll? Look at the doll, LOOK AT THE DOLL!

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar hbl123

    keep looking bro.....it aint gonna git bigger

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Mr.Harrisonsan

    It wasn't long until little Scotty noticed the differences between him and the other kids at school.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar CaptainSpanky

    Ingmar Bergman's "Muppet, My Muppet"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar bknoxx1

    Now squeal like a pig, boy!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar JackieTreehorn

    This is goin' down one of two ways, and I'm telling you now, neither of them are gonna be easy.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar planB

    "Honey...we need to talk."

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar HyruleanHyroe

    He may look harmless, all downcast and fluffy. But one should never trust... Squiddykins, man-slayer.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar aborym

    You know, Zardoz, that was a pretty big city you leveled with your destructive powers, and I really wish you would have exercised better judgement.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar tekdirek

    Stop looking at me Swan!!!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar aborym

    Thanks to years of painstaking research by Weyland-Yutani, the once mysterious stage between chestburster and full-blown, acid-bleeding, flesh-rending alien has finally been documented.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Sir

    Soon Gil's obsession with Dr. Zoidberg would take him far beyond the realm of normality and into the world of Muppet molestation.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar mmpl

    We don't talk anymore.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar IrishTerror

    You guys wanna see my big red swollen one-eyed monster?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Roland1232

    The Cthulhu doll would have sold better if it's eye didn't banish all it saw into the Realm of Infinite Anguish. Also the paint had lead in it.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Roland1232

    Ah...yeah, I guess it's a pretty chubby one-eyed monster. I just thought you meant something else.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar montanaguy

    Sure she only had one eye, and tentacles but it was her inner beauty that really turned him on

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Roland1232

    I can't be with you Mary Jane. Puppetman will always have enemies.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar gaspar

    Sure, winning a bowling championship was worth all the sweat and tears, but Squid would never forgive my methods.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar rengal

    The snowman in the blue hat screamed as the murderer ripped his eyes and nose off

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar JewelsVern

    The door to the dark side was opened and evil spirits rushed through. But for some reason nobody was impressed.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar monkey_marshal

    Muppet rape is rare these days but not unheard of!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar rengal

    The Blair Witch Project just wasn't the same with puppets

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar atomic-muffin

    . . . Is he watching? . . . he's watching isn't he.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar roninhobbit

    Officer Polo and his partner Hovering Cartoon Pizza Slice knew the good cop/bad cop routine had worked...the perp was gonna talk.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar lord_galathon

    It's just not the same since Fisher Price started making boom microphones.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar frrrrrrunkis

    Muppet-snuff porn....does it really exist?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Mr.Birchfield

    If you look in between the stuffed animal and the guy you can see a strange object? Is it a woman? Is it some form of life? It is definitely not a rock. (que the X-Files theme)

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar kingsteve14

    Clearly a look of shame from the muppet. Clearly a look of agression from the man. Clearly a case of their first time trying anal.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar nuro

    From Dr Suess's much malined "Pinkle gets popped in the pooper"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Joshi

    It was the wayhis eye moved that freaked him out... it was as if it was completely independant from his other eye...

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar vasrchr

    Ziggy reflects on why, because of his color, he is constantly harrassed and even more, how did TSA know his water bottle had a secret compartment.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Stretch

    (singing) "I've only got eye for yooouuuu"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar flyingmnky

    "Play it cool" Dudley said to himself "I know the hot fireman is checking me out. Just ignore him, and he'll come to you. Just play it cool."

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Stretch

    Although Larry was master of the staring contest, he would be no match for Wiggles

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar nuro

    "im sorry steve, i should have known better" "holy fuckging shit, you can talk?"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar cullmac

    So where did Big Bird touch you?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar xenex11

    Next on VH1 - Behind the Muppet

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar am4fm2000

    I know about you and Grover.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar djseifer

    With John grinning in sadistic delight as he undoes his belt, Elmo slowly came to the realization that betting against the Patriots was pretty fucking stupid.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar BunnyBordeaux

    It's not you..it's me.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar notsoclever

    Dammit Squidward, I told you there were paparazzi following us!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar scoob

    It's ok...just show me on the man where Kermit touched you, and this will all be over.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar cessen

    little did elmo know.. a sexual predator lurked i n the shadows..

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar phreesh

    Jim fails to impress at the reunion.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar MrBungle

    What's black and blue and hates sex? The kid in my trunk. Maybe this puppet will break the ice.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar cullmac

    Please, in your own time... tell me again where Big Bird touched you.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar chewie

    The least you could do is use a condom. . .

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Stavros

    "This... *sniff*, is by far the most sensitive piano medley I have ever heard you play."

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar neondeviant

    Jessica had always disliked her visits to Uncle Phil's, but this time it was different. This time, she liked it.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar am4fm2000

    "You have AIDS"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Nktalloth

    I did not murder him!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar LondonBob

    My new cartoon condoms are not getting me any more ladies, where did I go wrong?!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar markem

    Steve couldn't look Kevin in the eye, but dammit did he feet ever taste like heaven...

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar subscriber.name

    People often called him names, and it hurt poor One-Eyed-Jack

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar subscriber.name

    People often called One-Eyed-Jack names behind is back

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar markem

    Just wtf is it about guys named Steve?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar subscriber.name

    Ted just heard the bad news from his muppet proctologist.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar subscriber.name

    I'm not built for interracial gay marriage with a guy named Steve.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Sweetlips

    More and more puppets are coming forward about the severe sexual abuse almost all of them take. Up the butt.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar drunkpiano

    The guy in the back has beautiful blue eyes. The puppet has a weird pupil that juts out of his eye. I trust the guy in the back.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar shawnbizzle

    You sure got a purty mouth. I'm gonna make you squeel like a pig

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Calciphoce

    Depression hurts

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Escella

    o.k. I'm gonna ask you one more time. where is my wife?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Dick Cockman

    John never realized that women were freaked out by men staring at them from the shadows.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar IlfordRule

    "So if I go through with this, you promise you'll burn the photos?"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar markrrose

    Hi, my name is Ted. Do you come around here often?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar MichaelL

    Bubble Panda

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar fraser

    oh ill make you talk, punk!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar vasrchr

    Bottom line is, we're around each other an' this thing, it grabs hold of us again at the wrong place, at the wrong time, and we're dead.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Carnage

    I'ma rape you ... Oh rly... Ya...rly

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar BGumRocketship

    Kevin Henderson: The Man Behind the Muppet

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar DesertEagle

    But you still haven't told me WHY I don't qualify for the loan.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar iangordon

    "Yes, I Have Ejaculated Onto His Doll Face"... "Yes, He Feels Shame..."

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar xJemm

    dyslexic terrorists

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Kierkegaard

    The doctor said that the voices would stop if I could just take my hand out of him... He won't let me!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Ranger

    Jon Favreau and his Alien co-Director for Iron Man (the movie) contemplate suicide for not hiring Neil Fifer (google: Neil Fifer) to play Tony Stark/Iron Man instead of that drug-ladened loser Robert Downey Jr.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar toastking

    Zoidberg Knew it wouldn't last.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Ranger

    Jon Faverau and his alien friend wish everyone would visit: www.NeilsNotes.com

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Ranger

    Save bamboo... suffocate a Panda. More animal deaths at: www.NeilsNotes.com

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar nirot

    Damned to an eternity of downcastedness, Tom the Octopus silently cursed his maker for only giving him one eye.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar GoatBoy

    Ingmar Bergman's original cut of the Muppet Movie was a little...much.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar have_a_hard_hat

    Bob Dole doesn't need this

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Temper

    "Oh c'mon, it wasn't THAT bad, was it?"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar bushbasher42

    Elmo, you're a loose cannon cop on the edge, but damnit you get restults.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar sethwoodman

    So, why is it that you have one testicle yet your scrotum is the size of Kansas?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar nalderto

    this was precisely the point in the night when Wes realized acid just wasn't for him

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar steelers

    You don't even wanna know!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar steelers

    Youses gettin the belt...

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Darragh

    "I don't give a damn what your father says! The magic dragon I fell in love would never hide his feelings from anyone!"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar AndyC.

    Ted knew that using the Icee machines in Silent Hill was a bad idea, but damn if they weren't tasty!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar AndyC.

    It's a shame that Jim Henson's pilot for a soap-opera was never picked up.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Treb

    I Smell A Traitor, the new video from Homeland Security Rock.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Treb

    Sesame Street's newest member -- The Cocktapus for the gender unclear.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar wonkycat

    Steve looked warily at his red magician's hat...it had an EYE!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar gogreen

    Puppet Rape is a crime.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Rowandswim

    A one eye joke...that was too low even for you...

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar anna.molly.13

    GODDAMMIT! i've told you to watch where you aim that! if you're gonna force me to do it, at least warn me! FUCK everything's fuzzy now. you know i only have one eye!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar melissa

    Jeff Dunham was really getting creative with his puppets these days

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Loftoll

    Is there a problem son? Has that Todd in school been making fun of your eye, skin colour and texture again?

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