Baker.Street
Superman, jealous of Batman's utility belt found that he lacked some of the Caped Crusader's ingenuity.
phreesh
As Betty watched him leave, she ruefully wondered why 'tipping' apparently wasn't one of his super powers.
namesnatcher
"no, superman,"said Lex Luthor, cleverly disguised as a lobsterman," my porpoise in life is to be shellfish and crabby, just for the halibut..."
IrishTerror
After "Gigli", most of the neighborhood locals back home would smile and wave as Ben Affleck roamed the streets looking for attention, and maybe a BJ.
BritneysWig
Superman's greatest disguise was actually a skinny nerd in a horrible costume and a fanny pack. No one ever suspected.
MrBungle
What're you looking at bitch? I can see you have lung cancer with my X-ray vision, but I'm not telling.
djseifer
Try as he might, Dean Cain just wasn't the same man after Lois and Clark was canceled.
UnicornLegs
(in the lady's thoughts) "someone should tell him that neither the lame costume or the fanny pack make him look badass."
planB
For some reason, the ID and birth certificate just weren't convincing anyone that he was Superman.
Poom
Hey Superman. Whatcha got in that fanny pack? I bet its tampons, you fucking pussy!
JewelsVern
Mail carriers have always had a good reputation, but they really jumped the shark with the new uniform.
ktart5
Boxers? Briefs? Superman takes it a step farther with a modified fanny pack to carry his junk in...They don't call him Superman for nothing.
Mioljinr
It was love at first sight...him a nerd straight out of his mother's basement, her a waitress at a greasy spoon...a match made in heaven!!! Thank you Craigslist, thank you!!!
kgbholman
After years of carrying his wallet and keys in his boot, Superman finally came up with a solution - fanny pack.
Ken Buddha
"I told Lois I shouldn't wear her heels with the suit, but she kept saying, 'How often do you really look at a man's shoes.' Motherfucker! That woman is staring right at them.
Roland1232
Superman answers the Wanted ad: "Hard-working people person, willing to contribute ideas, able to turn back time to save spoiling kebabs, smart dresser. Other-worldly strength a plus."
Belljar84
"superman special...superman special...okay...keep going...i'm sure one place will give me a free meal"
timeformorecake
After successfully getting the digits, he chuckled, "Hell yeah. I'm 'onna Supaman that ho."
Crenshaw
Alright! There's no way she'll get pregnant with this Kryponite in my well-placed fanny pack.
Tag119
FINALLY a place I can get fish kebabs seven days a week! If this isn't heaven I don't know what is.
Mioljinr
Hey baby, what do you say to you, me, a bottle of wine, my six-pack abs and a few fish kebobs? No? What the fuck?! Don't you know who I am? I'm motherfuckin' Superman, bitch!!! Nobody turns down the Man of Steel, nobody!!!
Worzel
It upset Superman how badly Lois had aged. That and the fact that she stunk of fish when she finished work.
KidBrick
It was one of those days where Clark had once again put the suits on in the wrong order.
roninhobbit
FUCK! Stupid X-ray vision! I need a switch for it or something. I think I'm gonna throw up.
hbl123
faster than a speeding bullit.....thanks for the 2 minutes last night super ahole!!!
Goose
"You may laugh now, but you try keeping all these pennys in a latex suit at supersonic speeds, then we'll see who looks stupid!" *mutters*"....bitch"
shakenbake684
I bet she'd love to find out what i got inside my phanny pack. Trust me, it aint Kryptonite
phreesh
As Betty watched him go, she ruefully noted that his superpowers apparently didn't include tipping.
drunkpiano
Superman vs. his greatest foe yet: MILF who glares semi-angrily through windows. Man, DC's really losing it.
KidBrick
It was one of those days where Clark put the suits on in the wrong order. Again.
spot
Superman knew by the look on the waitress's face: His cover to infiltrate and expose the comic con as reporter Clarke Kent posing as a comic book fan was blown.
cessen
Be cool clark.. just walk in smile keep eye contact order a fish kebab and ask her out.. you can do this..
Zombie_Jesus
Ever since Lois Lane dumped him for Lex Luther, Superman found himself resorting to using his x-ray vision for the occasional cheap thrill.
namesnatcher
and superman never chaged into costume in a phonebooth again, after that unfortunate incident with the flash and indecent exposure charge
Quadrillion
"Damn this X-ray vision. That't the twelfth woman today I caught in flagrante delicto with a vacuum cleaner."
IrishTerror
As he looked at the fish sign, he couldn't help but remember with rage his fling with Lois. Syphillis is a terrible disease.
brasamaan
After becoming tired of repeatedly preventing the earth from total annihilation, superman left Metropolis and moved to New Hampshire to fulfill his dream; to finally bring the loveletter he wrote 10 years ago to the fishmonger's wife.
AngryRantingBob
After Soulja Boy, Superman could no longer enjoy a simple Sunday walk without people gawking at him
NeoRudeboy
She fired her blue kryptonite Flag-Spear cannon at the man of steel, but her aim was off by a mile. Superman sneered and walked on...
winkihed
Nicole Richie loves to wear her superman suit while walking around, shunning food.
kingsteve14
After picking up his paycheck superman used his x-ray vision to look at his boss's tits.
simplicityiskey
"Why is that no one looks at Hulk Hogan like that when he wears a fanny pack?"
SLC
As Superman read the Specials menu, he heard the snickering from within the store and silently wondered if he'd forgotten to remove his fanny pack again.
MrBungle
Let's see..oversized Superman suit - Check Cape - check Fake sixpack - check Fanny pack - check Ready to go for stroll.
Anos
Amsterdam's new "home style" whorehouse seafood buffet was a longshot, but without risking it all, Hans felt empty inside.
vasrchr
No one knew that in his spare time Superman delivered inspection notices for the Metropolis Health Department.
d2ark
Stop staring, bitch... I thought the wanted ad said a position for "Kickin' Ass" not "Stickin' Bass"!
peepshowmopguy
“Crap! Carl, that asshole Superman is back. Better put on an extra pot of coffee.” Superman may have saved the day, but he was a notoriously bad tipper who always got 20 free refills of coffee…
drunkpiano
Superman tees of against his greatest foe yet! It's the MILF who stares semi-angrily through windows! (An excerpt from Kevin Smith's Superman screenplay.)
drunkpiano
Superman tees off against his greatest foe yet! It's the MILF who stares semi-angrily through windows! (An excerpt from Kevin Smith's Superman screenplay.
drunkpiano
Superman tees off against his greatest foe yet! It's the MILF who stares semi-angrily through windows! (An excerpt from Kevin Smith's Superman screenplay.)
UnicornLegs
Fanny packs-the most efficient way to avoid pickpocketing and stealing fish kebabs from restaurants
tmisiora
Woman in Window: Oh my god you guys have got to check this guy out. He's such a freak. Fish Kabob Maker: Tell me about it who even owns a fanny pack these days.
big
"Superman or no Superman, the cops are still gonna hassle you if go out wearing a dealer pouch".
grafton
If only I could reverse the Earth and prevent this awkward moment from ever happening.
randychico
Dammit Bobby! I told you a thousand times YELLOW RAINCOAT! Y-E-L-L-O-W! Customers will get confused!
houseboi
it is not nice to make fun of retards.....but that bitch has shit all up in her depends!
homicidalhombre
"Gladys Underhill?" "Yes! how'd you know?" "You've been served . . didn't see that one comin' did ya bitch??"
scoob
That's right Superman...keep staring at them. By the time you realize I have Krytonite nipple rings it will be too late!!! muh-hahahahahaa
Dick Cockman
Bob cursed his chiseled good looks and bulging muscles. Women were never interested in what was inside him.
bobbo_the_greak
Superman normally hid his fanny pack under the cape, but Casual Friday had it's own meaning in the JLA.
ryseone
Where ever there is injustice I will be there! Where ever there is ....ohhhhhhhhh waffles
MitchConner
Going for It: Darrius Zermif is awarded his Gold medal, moments after learning his fuzzy pink prosthetic legs would not get him disqualified from the Gay Olympics.
MisterCode
Twenty-four years later, Susan wished she had listened to her father and gotten that abortion rather than her mother who suggested that maybe she'd like to meet her son someday.
Ranger
Since contracting AIDS from that slut Lois, Superman began losing a lot of weight. Nobody talked about it, they just smiled and waved as he spent his last days strolling the streets of Smallville. www.NeilsNotes.com
Atomic-Envy
Ever since Superman started eating out for lunch, his muscles haven't been quite the same.
nirot
"Is he wearing heels?" "I know what you're thinking, 'Am I wearing heels?'" "Yes, yes I am."
Ranger
I'M WEIRD?!?! I'm NOT the ONE spelling 'Kabobs' with a fucking 'e' lesbian!!!! www.NeilsNotes.com (When you really want to tell a Superman-hating lesbian off!).
...I can so see through that ladies cloths. Now THAT'S what I call a KARBARB!
smurph
their eyes meet shes cinderella hes the charming prince .... we now know their having sex tonight
Ranger
That's right lesbian...the Last Son of Krytpon...so FUCK OFF!!! www.NeilsNotes.com
brianbake
"Hey! No talking to the townies, pledge! And I better here you say Sigma Chi, motherfucker!"
Treb
His X-Ray vision told Superman that the buxom blonde had eaten Aquaman. It was now his sad duty to return the hook in his fanny pack to the widow.
worlock93
That's right bitch I'm Superman. Now go get me a fish kebab before I get lex luthor on your ass!
ralguitarhero5
After being beaten by Lex Luthor once again, superman goes downtown to buy a cup. Sip on that, Lex!
Dith
"I see you are staring at my goochie fanny pack, you can have it if you pretend to be my louis lane..."
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