Other Craptions

The 6,000,000 Peso Woman

First generation blue tooth.

OK, you now have +5 Agility, but try to stay away from fire spells.

Thank you doctor. I no longer feel self conscious because of the mole on my cheek.

Well mostly all the mind-control helmet does is make you enjoy wearing a mind-control helmet.

Cracked's porn has been sub-par as of late.

"Okay, don't be alarmed, but when I poke this into your brain you're going to feel some pressure and then poop your pants."

"I know kung fu."

There I was, O my brothers, forced to viddy hours of real horrowshow lashings of the old ultraviolence, with all sorts of wires attached to my gulliver when I began to feel a malenky bit unwell...

WHAT DO WE WANT?! LESBIAN S&M THREESOME ELECTROPLAY DENTISTRY! WHEN DO WE WANT IT?! 09:47am TUESDAY MORNING!

Playstation's answer to the Nintendo Wii was a critical and commercial failure, partially because it didn't work very well, but largely because it looked fucking stupid.

since eyes are the windows to your soul, Ruth decided to upgrade to xp

Even the Borg have immigration problems.

Program it to act more Asian.

"Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself."

1-18-2025 Thousands of users complain to microsoft about the latest windows upgrade process

As the WGA strike continues on into it's tenth month, CW renews it's hit reality series "¡Stick Shit In My Head, Por Favor!"

The Lou Dobbs Research Center isn't afraid to push the envelope when it comes to opposition research.

We are not saying enrolling in our Power Acupuncture Program cures all, BUT if you look at our patient you'll notice she is not having a stroke, whilst the stubborn bitch on the left is.

"Must.....catch.....them all....."

What? Its ergonomic...

Apple launches iBrain.

Michael Jackson impregnates Dubai woman and looks forward to welcome his latest son iMichael in seven months time.

Useless superpower #32: Abillity to jump car batteries with a sneeze.

Mrs Kubrick was counting down the days until Stanley finished shooting Clockwork Orange.

By the way, it rusts like a mother fucker.

Macgyver didn't call triple a for a dead battery...

She doubted the effectiveness of the super-villain helmet at first. Then, her eyes took on an evil glint as she plotted to steal forty cakes.

The Japanese's newest fetish.

Sighing quietly to herself, Martha begins to regret looking to Scientologists for a hand transplant.

REPORT: AMERICANS GO TO EXHAUSTIVE MEASURES TO FORGET BUSH PRESIDENCY

some people can pick up radio signals in their fillings, but Rhonda can get HBO and Cinamax

Can you hear me now? Good!

So I realize this isn't Dr. Fisk's office, and I get up to leave... but anyway I've always been a sucker for Asian bondage flicks and I thought...

Blowjob motion capture.

Look at me, I'm all sci-fi!

So you don't want to talk, eh? We'll just have to try our new invention on you. We call it "Mr. Thingy."

Luckily, this was covered under her HMO

Janet tried to be stoic during the experiments, but she could still see the hand of death reaching out to her.

It IS Janet Leigh! Shh. Act casual...

Tell me the truth Consuelo, did you use my bathroom? Its OK I won't be angry if you did.

Marilyn Manson was running out of ideas

It wasn't until the early 80's that the technology would evolve enough to make pleasure toys discreet enough to wear in public.

I'm serious - single moms will do *anything*.

The 6,000,000 Peso Woman.

Good Heavens Miss Sakamoto...You're Beautiful!

The hearing aid looks great. No one will ever notice.

As she awaited her execution, Joy couldn't help but regret that she forgot to tell her tivo not to record Grey's Anatomy this season.

"Now, normally such drastic measures aren't needed for facelifts, but in your case, we simply have no choice.