Other Craptions

"Seriously, the next time I see Calvin, I am going to shoot him in the f***ing head."

Officials conducting a controlled test described the implications of nuclear winter as "extremely hilarious".

Illegal immigration had been bad enough before it started coming from Canada.

"At least they're not trying to rape us, like last time."

There was no use in challenging the desegregation laws; the snowmen stared silently at the first two humans to ever enter their school.

TV producers Rankin-Bass debut their new holiday/zombie special "28 days after christmas"

"I KNOW it's a different culture! And I STILL think it's awful the way they stigmatize the retarded ones with those buckets!...Oh, LET them hear me!!"

Sadly, the silent plight of this nations homeless snowman epidemic is being ignored.

So. This is the future. Take that Al Gore! This is freakin' awesome!

When you build a snowman its soul becomes your slave in the afterlife.

The Christmas magic ended the day Bloomingdales handed out free heaters.

Okay, now The Planet of the Apes sequels are just getting ridiculous.

The snowmen clammored...which one would be the lucky yellow one this year?

Alfred Hitchcock's less successful "The Snowmen"

This might sound a little racist, but I'm starting to think all Canadians look the same.

At the Million Snowman March.

Y'know Claire, if we hadn't just taken $500 worth of acid and shrooms, I'd swear that guy had a bucket on his head.

Summertime in Christina Aguilera's vagina.

KILL THE FLESHLINGS IN THE NAME OF SON-TAH KLAHS, OLD ONE OF THE NORTH! IA! IA! IA!

The snowmen looked at eachother in disbelief and horror. Man had entered the village.

No, listen, it's not that kind of snowblower.

As the snowmen stood in battle formation, Eileen and Sarah cursed the one day they had forgotten their pocket flamethrower.

"Abominable Snowman" is a misnomer. Actually they are very courteous. They even wear masks so they don't spread germs when they have a cold.

"It's like this every year. Home Depot is having a sale on snowblowers"

heh, nice humans you made there.

Bjork is making some of the weirdest music videos...

I've got it! It's a cross between Planet of the apes and Jack frost! Umm..Mr Bay..sorry, but we don't think people will want to see this movie. What if i say Bruce willis plays a snowman??! DEAL!

THIS IS SPAA....wait, where the fuck are we?

When America's global warming and illegal immigration problems finally come together...

Black snowmen apparently aren't welcome in the rich part of town.

Where's waldo? No seriously where is our son?

Parker Brothers lesser known "Cocaine Land" boardgame is only recommended for Ages Scared to Dead.

Hitlers madness continued long after his death when his idea of a "snow based army" was taken to literally.

No one knew what to expect when Michael Bay directed the Calvin and Hobbs movie

"Just wait 'til the snow plow comes by."

The civil rights movement worked. Now humans and their former snowman masters could walk down the street together in peace.

Will Robin escape? Can Batman find him in time? Is this the ghastly end for our Dynamic Duo? Answers tomorrow night. Same Bat time, Same Bat channel.

The cold blooded gang Agua Frios moved in for the kill!

"Let's hurry up, these white folks make me nervous."

This is the strangest White Power rally we've ever attended...

After seeing it's target audience, Diane and Kate immediately regretted buying tickets to the premiere of "The Day After Tomorrow."

just like zombies, snowmen can move at 1mph but not as scary

We don't know who struck first, us or them. But we do know that they scorched the sky.

"does anyone else smell carrots?"

Unfortunately, I am Legend 2 didn't do quite as well in theaters.

Thus launching the new action movie: I,Snowman

"Gee, downtown's getting whiter all the time."

Sweet Jesus! I think we've stumbled upon Frosty's family reunion

This time calvin went too far.