Other Craptions

"Kill me."

Strangely enough the show Pimp My Backhoe never really caught on.

As crab tractor gazes sadly at the remains of the life he once had, Dr. Crustacea wonders why the hell he keeps giving his inventions a soul.

'Spider-truck, spider-truck, does whatever a spider-truck does...'

You know you're a redneck when you...WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!

"No, it's cool. It's just that when you said you drove a ho-mobile..."

Scene from Charlotte's Web II: Charlotte's Revenge

Although the Discovery Channel show "How It's Made" was successful, the follow-up "Why the Fuck..." didn't fare as well

Already on Ebay is a prop from the movie "I Am Redneck"

Sweet dear god...There's no driver!

Within 1 minute of being parked in Brooklyn, 3 of the crab-tractor's wheels had been stolen.

I want to clarify, but didn't put this in my original post because it would have ruined the flow: I'm ashamed to admit that I know anything about the shitstorm that was the original Wild Wild West. Also, in the context of my joke, the sequel would ha

Wild, Wild West 2: Back 2 Tha Hood.

The new Transformers movie received an NC17 rating due to its explicit sex scene between one of the robots and a large tire.

This hybrid thing is going too far

Milton was sick of everyone making fun of his pink Volkswagon...but now he had the upper hand, and they would pay, oh yes, they WOULD PAY

The sequel to Wild Wild West sadly lacked the big budget that the first movie had.

Mike Mulligan could never get over how fast their fame disappeared. No matter what he tried, he never could capture that original magic and frankly Mary Anne just scared the shit out of children nowdays.

Spider-Truck, Spider-Truck, does whatever a...what the fuck?

Tractorbot was the most depressed of all the Transformers: as hard as he tried, he could never manage to conveniently tuck away that one last tire when switching forms.

Sadly, with the Decepticons a problem of the past, Optimus struggled to find a role on earth, and after many modifications, finally realized, he was no longer in his Prime.

One of the sad reminders of Civil War II.

CRAB robots CRAB robots looks like crab rusts like robots

Tractor-crab wanted to skate around like all the others...alas, it was not to be.

Half Life 2: The Movie Summer 2010

For some reason, the sequel to Cars failed to hit the mark with the children.

The beer sold so well, Billy decided to make a movie. He chose to remake Star Wars. It might have worked better if his brother was still president.

Behold! The new Hummer!

2008: The year the cows get sick of being tipped, put their heads together, and come up with something.

"CAR? Playboy, i drive a fuckin spider." -P. Diddy

There is a reason why H.P. Lovecraft was banned from designing farm equipment, a reason the sorry bastards of Hoboken, New Jersey were about to discover.

George Washinton Carver's least known invention, "The Liberator 5000"

Two of my worst fears combines. Spiders... and farming...

Farmer Giles told those little bastards to stay away from his land...they would pay!

Charlie Horse.....DAMN!

John Deere's new "Tarantula" becomes the first farm eqipment in history with a tagline; "It's Fucking Horrifying".

Back Hoe;The little Transformer that couldn't

Remember that evil kid, Sid, from Toy Story. Well this is the kind of crap he's doing now.

Socially denied by the other Transformers because of his girly pink appearance, CrabBot is left to rust in the streets.

At a PTA meeting somewhere in the deep deep south..."The new jungle gym for the playground was donated by someone who wishs to remain annomynous but he would like to say a few words..."

The "Vote or Die" campaign is pulling no punches for the 2008 election season.

Shit... I can't even spell combined...

After nuclear attacks failed, the murderous rampage of the ARACHTOR 3000 was finally stopped...by one well-placed snow tire.

And then the stray dog problem gave way to something much more sinister.

The beast was soon calmed by a game of fetch.

To nullify all suspicions that Jazz's death was racially motivated, the studio unveiled a new character to be killed-off in the sequel. Meet, Country!

He knew they were better, he knew they were smarter, but he knew that if he could kick this out of the park and win the Robo Kickball Cup, everyone would know his name.

In the climactic battle scene, Wheel was taking a beating. If he could just... reach... the button on his hub... it would be a whole new ballgame...

You paid for the whole seat but you'll only need teh edge. Come to the cinedome tomorrow night to see truckertarantula stomp... that's it, I can't do this anymore. I mean who the fuck wrote this, is he twelve?