AbbyNormal
As crab tractor gazes sadly at the remains of the life he once had, Dr. Crustacea wonders why the hell he keeps giving his inventions a soul.
BoogerBlaster
Although the Discovery Channel show "How It's Made" was successful, the follow-up "Why the Fuck..." didn't fare as well
abend954
Within 1 minute of being parked in Brooklyn, 3 of the crab-tractor's wheels had been stolen.
rollingStone
I want to clarify, but didn't put this in my original post because it would have ruined the flow: I'm ashamed to admit that I know anything about the shitstorm that was the original Wild Wild West. Also, in the context of my joke, the sequel would ha
pdgaert8928
Milton was sick of everyone making fun of his pink Volkswagon...but now he had the upper hand, and they would pay, oh yes, they WOULD PAY
omgtehlindsay
The new Transformers movie received an NC17 rating due to its explicit sex scene between one of the robots and a large tire.
rollingStone
The sequel to Wild Wild West sadly lacked the big budget that the first movie had.
Anos
Mike Mulligan could never get over how fast their fame disappeared. No matter what he tried, he never could capture that original magic and frankly Mary Anne just scared the shit out of children nowdays.
omgtehlindsay
Tractorbot was the most depressed of all the Transformers: as hard as he tried, he could never manage to conveniently tuck away that one last tire when switching forms.
OptimusGrime
Sadly, with the Decepticons a problem of the past, Optimus struggled to find a role on earth, and after many modifications, finally realized, he was no longer in his Prime.
NookEMonster
For some reason, the sequel to Cars failed to hit the mark with the children.
keeks137
2008: The year the cows get sick of being tipped, put their heads together, and come up with something.
JewelsVern
The beer sold so well, Billy decided to make a movie. He chose to remake Star Wars. It might have worked better if his brother was still president.
bloodthorn6
There is a reason why H.P. Lovecraft was banned from designing farm equipment, a reason the sorry bastards of Hoboken, New Jersey were about to discover.
Daercoma
Tractor-crab wanted to skate around like all the others...alas, it was not to be.
Mioljinr
Transformer fans were disappointed when production stills of "Tranformers 2: More than Meets the Queer Eye" were released, showing the Devastator makeover.
porsche
When his backhoe was delivered, Bob was certainly the happiest winning bidder on eBay.
Nickdphish
Though its sole purpose in being created was to finally bring Pyre Tire's reign of terror to an end, after one look into her deep, dark eyes, Death Tractor knew he could never be the one to destroy her.
Marcos
Some transformers were rejected outright when ad executives realized selling them to children of over protective parents would prove...difficult.
Jsor
You paid for the whole seat but you'll only need teh edge. Come to the cinedome tomorrow night to see truckertarantula stomp... that's it, I can't do this anymore. I mean who the fuck wrote this, is he twelve?
TheGreenLantern
War of the Worlds was this years Indiana state fair theme. Next year, Cloverfield.
Pootah
As he took his new pet for a walk that morning, Cyriak Harris just couldn't understand why people were staring.
giftedsinner
John Deere's new "Tarantula" becomes the first farm eqipment in history with a tagline; "It's Fucking Horrifying".
roninhobbit
After nuclear attacks failed, the murderous rampage of the ARACHTOR 3000 was finally stopped...by one well-placed snow tire.
enthrall
In the climactic battle scene, Wheel was taking a beating. If he could just... reach... the button on his hub... it would be a whole new ballgame...
landrush
To nullify all suspicions that Jazz's death was racially motivated, the studio unveiled a new character to be killed-off in the sequel. Meet, Country!
cokieblume
Farmer Giles told those little bastards to stay away from his land...they would pay!
rpiercey
Socially denied by the other Transformers because of his girly pink appearance, CrabBot is left to rust in the streets.
substructure
The "Vote or Die" campaign is pulling no punches for the 2008 election season.
yettigod2
He knew they were better, he knew they were smarter, but he knew that if he could kick this out of the park and win the Robo Kickball Cup, everyone would know his name.
mw27
Remember that evil kid, Sid, from Toy Story. Well this is the kind of crap he's doing now.
klynn1369
At a PTA meeting somewhere in the deep deep south..."The new jungle gym for the playground was donated by someone who wishs to remain annomynous but he would like to say a few words..."
pillowpants
Finally, residents of Nebraska had a way to get in on the whole "Urban Violence" thing.
Anduril
Having been informed that, apparently, sentient quadripedal farm equipment with millions of dollars of AI programming and complex hydraulic systems isn't 'cost-effective,' the Living Spider backhoe looked with sadness at this revolutionary 'wheel' wi
NeoRudeboy
As he emerged from the teleportation pod, Dr Brundle realised something had gone terribly wrong....
Monsster
SPOILER ALERT!: First leaked pics (!!) of the Marsian Tripods (!) from the Indian set of War of the Worlds!
why_me
Says the empowered female tractor "WHO DOUBTS THE POWER OF PINK...HAR HAR HAR!!" "HELP....aaargh....i stepped on a wheel..i'm losing my balance" "DAMN!!there go my plans for taking over the male dominated world..[sigh]"
SpankTV
Tim Allen never super charged his lawnmower, after it said "I just want to Live" Then it ate his family, the lawnmower watched.
TheTrooper5
Welcome back to Jerry Springer, our next guest Has never known they're real parents, but now for the first time, they can. Come on out Optimus Prime and Lindsy Lohan!
Yabels
Years after the extinction of the human species and the dominance of the ho robots, Dr. Hospell examines a human relic.
Justin!
DISMAL SALES - Fans were disgusted with the dungeon bosses from the bitterly disappointing new entry into the popular Legend of Zelda series.
Handman
"Don't mess with the biggest hoe on the block unless you want this wheel shoved up your ....!"
teriyakisause
Imagine making an infomercial for this....it might even make it to cracked's "As Seen on TV: The 10 Most Laughably Misleading Ads".... Spider Hoe, hoe 4 things at once. Regular price is $2000 but if you order now you'll get it for four easy payments
teriyakisause
Imagine making an infomercial for this....it might even make it to cracked's "As Seen on TV: The 10 Most Laughably Misleading Ads".... Part2: Sorry first part got cut off. of $499.99! and wait if you order in the next minute you get a free tire. H
apatterson7
And thus the truck-spider Olympics started with the traditional Kentucky state sport of tire rolling.
CaptFightmaster
Looks funny now, but it'll single handedly (no pun intended) rid our country of day laborers.
anti-pill
This Transformers must have been lost in the deep south for a long time. Call him Big Hoe
TastyCakes
As Dr. von Huckledore gazed upon his creation, he breathed a sigh of relief. He had finally got 'r done.
kshipley
WHAT!? Does Crabster gotta slap a bitch? Getcho ass in there and make me some money.
substructure
The "Vote or Die" campaign is pulling no punches this election season with their new slogan: "Vote or Be Ripped to Friggin' Shreds!"
twenty2
ok, the fugly tractor thing scares the the shit out of me. but that fucking blue eyeball FREAKS ME RIGHT THE FUCK OUT!!!
justin5609
The idea for "Transformers: the Beginning" only got as far as this in the boardroom.
Pootah
As he took his new pet for a walk around the block, Cyriak Harris couldn't understand why the neighbours thought he was such a freak.
TheGreenSaga
There's nothing funny about this at all. That tire is the reminder of the life he once had
TheGreenSaga
The South's second rebellion came as a shock to everyone, not only in its careful deliberation well-planned blitz strike, but also, as shown above, in its advanced mechanical warfare
jgibbsjr
What the F ese? You're in the wrong neighborhood. This is bucket leg territory. Represent.
KCSteele
I got's back-HO's, front-HO's, leff-HO's, 'n right HO's-- WHA'S YOU NEED, BRUVVAH!
KCSteele
"Okay, WAIT, I'VE GOT IT!! We'll get Will Smith & Kevin Kline back! AND WE'LL CALL IT 'WILD, WILD, WEST PHILLY'! IT'LL BE A SMASH!!!" Then a nice man shot Jon Peters in the face.
suburbaknght
Okay, I understand boss battles and I understand racing games, but there's a reason you don't generally see the former /in/ the latter.
Sjohn1255
On this episode of Discovery channels "Transformer Manor", audiences cheer at young little Rose's mishaps.
Andyli1004
Sadly, with the Decepticons a problem of the past, Optimus struggled to find a role on earth. exactly I don't know the fact. But I still like to show my own opinions about any news. That's why I got to make my friends on a site called pubspa. Also I
romeodeltabravo
some people have criticized michael bay's take on transformers, but time will tell
Nktalloth
I'm trying to think of something funny to say... but I can't get passed how goddamn fucking AWESOME it would be to drive that.
ModernCaveman
The illegitimate child of Optimus Prime and a Martian Tripod tore his father's rightful heir to peices and screamed his battle cry to the city.
killarstrings
Another one of Da Vinci's long-lost blueprints were at long-last resurrected. Alas, the direct translation is muddied through the annals of time.
PieEater3142
If Chuck Norris made curries, they would probably be the best curries in the world
Ironknee
Unknown to most, John Deere had other ideas on how to revolutionize agriculture. They were, unfortunately, stolen by Lex Luthor.
nirot
Sadly, the only mechanocrustacean ever born had hydraulic legs that could only act in opposition to each other, rendering him incapable of movement, and therefore the art of the scuttle.
melissa
Sorry Dr. Octavious, your last invention didn't work, please don't try another one.
Matthemus
Earl got bored of normal construction work, so he started his own company called kick ass construction company, his slogan "Were gonna get the job done and we'll look kick ass doing it."
26thofjuly
"Yeah, 'MAKE ONE BIG MONSTER TRACTOR' was one of our first ideas too." ... "Only had one fuckin' wheel left over after the demolition derby anyway."
TechnoDude
Everyone knows Optimus Prime, but few remember the transvestite Autobot: Transsexubot!
HellhoundBill
After dealing with the other construction vehicles, Truckbot 2000 decided to go off and find true love with the lumber-cutting scorpion bot.
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