Other Craptions

Dave liked to hide behind the machine and moan as people reached for their sodas.

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: penis.

After inserting the money and buying the item, Bob couldn't decide whether or not he should reach in and get it.

You should see the back of the machine...

"Damn you, Superman!" shouted Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry. "I will break free from this prison!"

One day our grandchildren will look back and be amazed at how primitive sex robots used to be.

After years of imprisonment with no hope of release, General Zod decides to learn a musical instrument.

Cock-a-Cola

Hasslehofmania in Germany peaked with the "Grab my crotch for a quarter" machines.

It has long been suspected that Red Bull is just canned piss.

Margaret didn't know why the sperm bank would need an ATM in the first place, but this was ridiculous

Dude... In Japan, you can get anything out of a machine!!!

"Ya see? It's Guitar Hero, but in a CAN!"

Brett Michaels new line of mobile glory holes, cumming to a reststop near you.

No I don't want your cream soda.

Now anyone can be pissed on by a rockstar! No R. Kelly tickets required!! (Young misguided girls everywhere swoon)

The Boy Band Dispenser. Popular during the late 90's and early 2000's.

For 50 cents, this guy will orgasm a coke for you.

Guitar Hero IV: Slutty Groupies

John found the vending machine inappropriate until he realized it was a semen vending machine.

It was a common prank in the office for a desperate man to remove his shirts, strap on a guitar, and position himself in front of the vending machine in perfect silence, waiting for some unsuspecting thirsty passerby.

Strum THIS cord!

What the fuck does this machine even sell?

Mr.Chair was not amused

For a long time I felt that there was something wrong with the machine, then it hit me: The coin slot was way hard to reach.

Take out breadbasket for two hundred dollars!

Cigarettes can turn you into a ROCK GOD (and cause cancer, impotence and birth defects) YEAHHHHHH!!!

The Creed's lead singer brand Canned-Crotch-Juice? No thanks. Gene Simmons' brand Canned-Crotch-Juice? Have change for a five?

Either way, you are getting a fag!

I've got something in my front pocket for you.

The catholic church attempts to modernise with this depiction of "Rock Jesus"

Caution: Choking hazard. Must be 18 or older. May contain nuts.

A surprise in every box...

*Naturally Flavored

"Ugh, these rock star tampon dispensers are always out of super absorbency."

and thus came the origin of chip N dales

Turn me up to eleven!!!

"Rock band 2: Groupie" peripherals sold separately

"Hmmmmm. Ok, guitar strapped on, check. Head inserted in giant vigina, check. Now if I can only reach the lever, I'd get my FUCKING SODA!!!!!"

Might as will get those teenage girls practicing.

Whoa whoa, hold on a second...what the jubes is Gova?

why is there a massive black hole wer my dick should be?

Pfizer,in a new ploy to advertise Viagra, began sponsering vending machines today.

RedOctane prepares to release it's new video game "Gay Guitar Hero Groupie"

Once the phrase "rock out with your cock out" reached this level of popularity it just wasn't cool to use it any more.

Just touch it.

You get something tasty to drink if you pull the lever....NOT that lever!

For a nickel you can touch my pickel

New rock star Cigarettes. Every packet comes with a free hooker and a dab of speed!