Other Craptions

It was only after entering rehab that Britney realized that she could no longer run her hand through her hair...

People who buy the new cut of Blade Runner might be disappointed by its 1.3 seconds of new material.

However, once Mike reached the final level, he realized he would have to go back and find that extra arm to trade for the pogo stick.

Only a few miles away from it's more popular counterpart, the Island of Misfit Sex-toys enjoys a quieter (although kinkier) existence

Inspite of the fact the Jigsaw had shaved her bald, cut off her limbs, and trapped her in a filthy basement, Madeline was only filled with mild ennui

When Dan woke up and looked around, he knew it was time to quit drinking.

Girls! Girls! Girls! Dirt cheap girls! (some assembly required, offer void in NM, AK, and CA)

Film audiences and studios had grown tired of torture porn, but that didn't stop Eli Roth from making Hostel Part III on a budget of $3.50 with the cheapest actress he could get.

And as the scooter-riding android removed her arm to reveal the laser cannon, Todd finally realized that her love over the last few months had simply been a facade.

Roger had adjusted to Lurleen's lack of arms and hair, but when she performed her naked pogo stick dance he discovered she had no nipples or vagina either...

Sally looked into the distance, hoping for a sandwich she could no longer conveniently eat.

Young Sara turned her back to the scooter, and sighed "another shitty, and thoughtless gift from grandpa."

"You know what Bob, I think we should take the basement off the Neverland Ranch tour."

The establishment that shaved Britney Spears's head last year refused to accept the fact that their 15 minutes of fame were over.

It turns out the subject the Venus De Milo was based on wasn't what we expected it to be...

After Pinocchio, Jiminy Cricket just kept getting shittier and shittier jobs.

Join us next week for part 2 of our epic adventure: Boys.

As the couple stood in awkard silence, Teela wondered if she should just hop on her scooter and go home. All the sign could think was "Just kiss her damn it!"

dsjfha d

No arms and no nipples. There had better be a vagina down there, or I'm not interested. OK, I'm still interested, but not as much.

The 2007 winner of the photo capture contest. This year's subject: Capture three things more intelligent than Paris Hilton.

In the upcoming Mannequin 3, a double amputee princess has a curse put on her by an evil wizard that turns into a mannequin. The only way she can be freed of the curse is to be screwed by a Special Olympics marathon runner with no legs. GENIUS!!!

"Some blind date, huh?"

All this could be yours for only $99.95 with our patented BUILD YOUR OWN STRIP CLUB boxed set.

A still from David Lynch's remake of Bambi.

He went thata way!!

Britney's lame attempt at diverting the papparazi's attention

Susie wasn't going to let her lack of arms or inability to move stop her from realizing her dream of becoming a pogo stick champion and joining the circus.

Spoiled by the limitless availability of internet pornography, Julio's masturbatory preferences had become increasingly surreal.

A still from the YouTube parody of Murphy's death scene in Robocop, where Peter Weller has been digitally replaced with Paris Hilton.

The one-armed bandit began to tire of giving himself "strangers" and moved on to bigger game.

The Paris Hilton ride is currently down for maintenance. We apologize for any inconvenience. In the interim the complimentary Lohan is available.

The Brittany decided to go "All the way!"

Tina's life dream was still unfulfilled...without arms she would never be able to ride that pogostick.

The year 2041 and after losing their ability to tour, Motley Crue is redoing their famous "Girls Girls Girls" video for the 7th time to show the Dakota Fanning Administration "We still got it"...

You ride the scooter the other way retard! Fuckin bald doll thing.

You and your 8-year-old friend's "No Girls Allowed" club house 20 years later.

Yes, Bob that is a girl now are you able to get one you fat sack of crap?

Yelling..."Inanimate Armless Mannequinn!", just didn't bring the same crowd into the club as the usual "Live Nude Girls!".

The time out corner of the neverland ranch

What the inside of Kid Rock's mind looks like!

We all knew we were in trouble when Uwe Boll signed on for the Pinocchio remake.

...if he hollers let him go, eeny meeny meiny moe.

Somehow Deputy Bob's attempt bust of suspected slave girl traders did not go as planned.

She was one of the rejects of the Pussycat dolls. I guess it's because she was missing umm....a pus-no wait maybe arms...well guess she doesn't need arms to be a pussycat more than she needs a.. u know.

She was a reject of the pussycat dolls...I guess it's because she didn't have umm...a pus-wait maybe cuz she didn't have an arm...hmm probly not, arms aren't as important than a you know when beeing a pussycat doll.

Joe found out the hard way that the "Girls" sign was highly misleading.

Jeffrey Dahmer's Prom Date. MORE Jeffrey at: http://neilsnotes.com/?page=15&catid=36&sku=E-CD00371

Jack couldn't resist the shining metal of the scooter. I am johnsir, a successful and rich man from us. Internet is a quite good place to meet friends and even find whatever your need. i just want to find a right partner who is interested in mass