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Funny Craptions

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  • 76 Crack Ups
    Avatar pdgaert8928

    This is what happens if erections last for more than three hours and you DON'T consult a physician

  • 67 Crack Ups
    Avatar whyimhot

    Yeah, giant dick. Whatever. But seriously- Check out the titties on that dude!!

  • 30 Crack Ups
    Avatar frrrrrrunkis

    I said bring the SOCK puppet not the....never mind!

  • 26 Crack Ups
    Avatar bubsfoster

    A Boston Red Sox hat? I'm so embarrassed to be seen with you.

  • 26 Crack Ups
    Avatar abend954

    Petey the Penis was thrilled when he was chosen to lead the parade. But he had to keep reminding himself not to get too excited or things couldg et messy.

  • 19 Crack Ups
    Avatar LordJiro

    The Viagra Theme Park had some great rides, but the mascots are a little off-putting.

  • 17 Crack Ups
    Avatar dncr

    AP NEWS WIRE: Protesters outside surgeon's office claim malpractice: Large cock: "I wanted a 7 -INCH- penis!" Man with breasts: "I just wanted a haircut..."

  • 12 Crack Ups
    Avatar senorpablo

    Smilin bob finally realized the truth, you actually ARE what you eat...

  • 11 Crack Ups
    Avatar cheesemonster

    This is what happens when a goomba gets a mushroom instead of Mario.

  • 6 Crack Ups
    Avatar acrossthesea

    oh i wish i were an oscar mayeer wiener, that is what i truly want to be. cause if i were an oscar mayer wiener, every body would pleasure me.

  • 5 Crack Ups
    Avatar FaultyNinja

    Man, ever since Walt Disney died Disney World has become a fucked up place.

  • 5 Crack Ups
    Avatar FaultyNinja

    During the Gay Pride Parade Stan thought it would be appropriate to wear the clothes he wore on his wedding day .

  • 5 Crack Ups
    Avatar kelby

    Squirty, the latest addition to the Disney Christmas Parade, loves those backrubs.

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar brodie

    "I've been trying for days to get the top craption, staying up past midnight to get the first one. I thought tonight would be my time to- Oh come on a dick costume?"

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar 123456

    Jim Henson's least beloved muppet: Afro-cock.

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar urban

    Where's Linda Lovelace? I have a real challenge for her.

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar gatorboymike

    It didn't take long for everyone to agree that Bob needed an intervention for his Enzyte addiction.

  • 4 Crack Ups
    Avatar IrishTerror

    Leroy's children's show was cancelled quickly. Every time the children gave him a hug, he'd throw up.

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar whyimhot

    Pete makes good on his promise to "Rock out with my cock out."

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar hbk619

    Good for the kids to learn early: Inside every black penis, is a white man begging to come out

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar mmpl

    Mrs. Clinton strongly denies having knowledge of Hasbro following up Darth Tater with a new face-changing toy by the name of Obama White Potato. The Aide who sent you this photo has been fired.

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar TheFool

    To the alarm of the Secret Service, George W. goes walkabout

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar MergedLoki

    which brings me to my next point... don't smoke... nevermind

  • 3 Crack Ups
    Avatar King

    One of the happiest penises with eyebrows you'll ever see.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar kneightx

    I swear, Michael Jackson wears the same damn Halloween costume every year.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar kneightx

    And so Jeffrey went out to greet the world. He would soon discover that his bank account had been emptied and his identity trotted around Nigeria like a cheap whore, but for this one glorious moment he basked in the fact that the unsolicited email me

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar planB

    "Look, Billy! It's a goomba from your Mario games. Go give him a hug and Mommy will take your picture."

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Goldfish

    "Daddy, what's tha-" "Ask your mother."

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar frrrrrrunkis

    Well, he certainly wasn't that color when he got here.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Gakus

    Richard felt nervous. the other members of his family had told him t would be fine, but he couldn't help feeling uneasy. Why were they all staring at him.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar PhilMcCracken

    Dick Peters, party of four...calling Dick Peters, party of four. Your table is now ready.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar big

    Oh God, they're still behind me. Okay, okay, just keep smiling and moving forward and, for the love of God, DON'T TRIP!

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar mrbongonwc

    Branson learned one important lesson that day: Never lowball a costumer on a Scooby Doo.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Yabels

    "Oh SHIT!" Thought Rich McDicken, momentarily stunned as he realized that he forgot the words to the song he was supposed to sing. He quickly forced a smile as he thought fiercely.

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Mr.Harrisonsan

    Look kids! It's a genuine Peter the Penis costume! Complete with real ejaculation-like effects!

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar akiyoshi

    Ok Jimmy is here! Now bring the angry pussy and the surprised mouth! Am I forgetting something? Oh the wistling a...

  • 2 Crack Ups
    Avatar Dire_Ria

    Although very well known for its efforts to eliminate racial stereotypes there was at least one for which the NAACP was willing to go to great lengths in order to keep.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar JewelsVern

    Mankind's answer to the toothed vagina.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar porsche

    Jose's Halloween costume finally personified what his friends had been saying for years: he was, in fact, a dick.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar powerdog

    Ted took his Giant Floating Dick out for a walk. That's when he noticed that it hadn't been circumcised. Embarrassed, he took it back to his garage.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar mmpl

    Tom cruise on his way to making a surprise appearance in celebration of Will Smith having lunch.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar kelby

    Squirty, the most recent addition to the Disney Christmas Parade, loves his back rubs.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Technohawk

    Dickhead!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar acrossthesea

    "Get your hands off me prick!"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar monkey_marshal

    What a cock!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Goose

    Cue Black people making jokes that theirs fell off and joined the parade.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Jackass

    Surrounded by gays and latinos, Bill O'Reily suddenly changed into his true form....that of Dicktar, the leader of an alien race of...oh fuck it Bill O'Reily is just a big dick.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar BigPhillyMan

    The side effects the Viagra commercials don't tell you about.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar nuro

    He's forcing the smile becuase he didnt used to be brown. gross.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar BGrim

    Spluge Fest 2007

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar trimos

    This is where the terms "Dickhead" and "Pissface" come from.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Next_Level

    Holy crap! Look at the teeth on that thing!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar MenDAKE

    Okay, everyone, group hug!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar nuro

    Larry would never forgive his wife for the misunderstanding, and he would never again be able to attend a private eye costume convention.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Dire_Ria

    This is what happens when lawyers take Viagra.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar mrbongonwc

    Branson learned one valuable lesson that day: Never lowball a costumer on a Scooby Doo outfit.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar stevietallcan

    Screw Comic Con. This is the REAL giant dork convention.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar MrPants

    Jim had always been a really big dick to everyone, but he always had the balls to back up the things he said.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar prodigalpanda

    As Dorothy entered the Emerald City for the second time in her short life, she wondered at the odd friends she had met on her way this time: "Man-boob the Rotund", "Guy with Cap", and "Shroomballs; the Giant Penis".

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar prodigalpanda

    After minutes of furious squirt-gun battle with three teenagers, a small boy, and an elderly gentleman, Bob walked through the center of the town fair, head held high.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar ManualAutomaton

    the latest romantic comedy "Dickless in Seattle" didn't go over as well as it's predecessor.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Gamer.Elite

    The Enzyte ad campaign is getting a little graphic.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Jefftbeek

    How you doin'?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar nchammer326

    That guy's a dick.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Srx

    It was only a matter of time before our dicks started seeking independence.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Wembley

    I and I don't be understandin' why the tourists be stayin' away from mah hair braidin' stand, mon!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar kingsteve14

    Hey ladies! He makes a lot of money too!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Meags88

    After years of practice, Don Imus finally became what he really is.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Vegemighty

    I heard that Carvel's Fudgie the Whale was cocky, but I never imagined this.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar crw33te

    Dane Cook makes an apperance as the grand marshal of the Boston St. Patrick Day Parade.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar scarletspider

    Eddie Murphy shows the world he really is a dick!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar mw27

    Sure casual sex poses the threat of STDs and unwanted pregnancy.... but the advice Andrew really needed to know was: You are what you eat.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Antsmarching

    Election?? I thought we were here to support the Erection! Akward...

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar bigCAT

    John smiled with embarrassment when he realized that everyone, in fact, could see his penis.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar neojohn007

    what a fun!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Aurelio

    Ron Jeremy's penis was spotted by the paparazzi, while taking a walk with his family in California.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar SpacePope

    In Soviet Russia, balls kick YOU!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Dick_Richard

    Richard always wondered why the people stared at him when the man with the tits was supposed to be the real attration.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar WLTwitch

    fat guy: STOP STARING AT ME! I have a glandular problem. I'm a human being just like you! giant cock: Stop it Jack,. You're making a fool of yourself.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar englishfreak

    Admit it -- this is what you think of when you see Twinky the Kid! Just me? Nevermind...

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar jgibbsjr

    Chubby quickly thought of anything that would delay the sweet release; nuns, really old nuns, his dad, baseball, Larry King....

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar yettigod2

    "shit" "whats wrong honey" "well, i thought this said, "head on, apply directly to the forehead", but it says "hard on, apply directly to the forskin" "babe, don't worry, whats the worst that could happen?"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar 1282lulu

    He went thata way!!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar 1282lulu

    "Balls"! said the queen, if I had 2 I'd be king!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar mhtsos

    So?It's just a penis stuck in an ass (from the inside out)

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar hello.

    "come on kids. you can ride me for free" little did they know. michael jackson was beneath the costume.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Damn1965

    Whatta ya mean, I don't know dick?!? I can introduce you to him...

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar kungfuguru

    In an instant, Frank was simultaneously surprised and embarrassed. That old saying was true! You are what you eat.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar jesuschriss

    Studies show that giant cartoon-like penises are the best way to introduced children to sex.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar vasrchr

    Call him what you want: dick, peckerhead, wiener. The town had enough of Ennis Morecock and escorted him out of town.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar StealthMerc

    Mommy what is that?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar jazzguitar247

    What a dick

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar bacdac

    Worst Pokemon Ever.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar scoob

    Red Sox Bob just couldn't resist grabbing other cocks in public.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar fifinambo

    How to give people the finger when you don't have hands.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Spirit

    Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, I'm a kinky sex toy! Beat me, bite me, make me bleed. Kinky sex is all I need!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar bobboringbaker

    wow, i guess black penises really are bigger

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar mrdeeds

    They say pets reflect their owners...bob was definately a dick!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar BIGSHOWJR100

    Skeletor's septic tank skeleton

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar evilbunnyslayer

    the parade costume was made to the exact proportions and colors of an actual specimen. however, that guy was black

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar johnnystorm

    Some felt their for the dramatic was a bit over the top, but none could argue the way they moved the crowd.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Zombie_Jesus

    Everyone was shocked to see Vice President Cheney at the Gay Pride parade.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar toastking

    When there was the famine in Ireland, Mr Potato needed a new gig. He went the wrong way.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Ranger

    www.NeilsNotes.com

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Skerrykerry

    "Attention please, Mr.Bobbit, John Wayne Bobbit, please meet your missing party @ the lost and found Booth, John Wayne Bobbit to the lost and found booth please..."

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar ChuggleTheNugs

    Everyone was looking for Penis Head's mustache.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar kysenr

    I've seen bigger...

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar 2metal4hell

    he's hung like a white man from...the arms down?

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar jalex

    To be a mexican's penis in the Cinco De Mayo parade...worst job ever. Esecially with El man boobs marching to you left.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar jerksquad

    After his first go at anal sex you just couldn't get the 'shit eating' grin off his face.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar mgnina

    "... Ok everybody, now lets sing the Penis Song!..."

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar TheDayn

    It took 9 months of meticulous work but Tony ensured that it would be the most memorable Veteran's Day parade ever!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar shoemugger

    When in doubt we know what he whips out

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Mr_K_Twig

    I don't like Jim, he's such a big dick.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar metelx

    man goes for a walk with his best friend

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar bunnalsom

    What a dick.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar DarkKnight6464

    Dickman, to the rescue!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar sethwoodman

    Did anyone see the cat float? Well, all your questions have been answered.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Ranger

    Geez Dad...he looks just like you when you get into the shower behind me (and Mom is out getting groceries and you want to 'earn' my allowance)! www.NeilsNotes.com

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar MonkeyWiz

    I can see my mouth from here....

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Dyldog

    moments later, a fat Italian came from nowhere and crushed him to death

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Dyldog

    Moments later, he was crushed to death by a fat Italian...

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Johnnyboy0358

    I'm about to go extinct because of lack of food. You have got to be fucking kidding me.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar kvgautam

    Only if we had so many of soldiers!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar MrWiseguy

    Hey kids, it's Mr. Penis and he's here to talk to you about sexual abuse.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar flarp95

    Mr. Potato Head's lesser known brother.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar bhost1

    Hey DICKHEAD!! Down in front!!!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar readhead445

    THIS is when you "drop-out-of-college" phase comes back to bite you in the balls. Pun intended.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar myspoonistoobig

    Heh heh.. I'm a giant penis..

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar A-Mac

    Paul stared on intensely, eager to see which horse would win a fight to the death and win his affection (read 'man-love').

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar jonnyt

    Lost Dignity Help Phone

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Vederick

    "Y'know, Bob, you could've mentioned the GIANT PENIS before I brought the kids out." "I figured 'the talk' would go better with a visual aid, so sue me!"

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar TechnoDude

    Why is that man looking at it so closely??

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar DickeMan

    You'd smile too if you knew there was a giant vagina waiting for you at the end of the parade!

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Truthiness

    Congressmen Boehner tells people that he really *IS* happy to see them.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar Woozy

    I wonder how much his balls would hurt if he fell.

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar slade

    the poor fact is that a white penis is standing just behind mega cock

  • 1 Crack Ups
    Avatar F3tusauruS

    look at that guys titties