Next_Level
It took drastic measures to stop Tim Allen from making The Santa Clause 5, but in the end everyone agreed it was necessary.
Poom
He was a scab, and if there is one thing that the National Santa's Union doesn't like, its a fucking SCAB!
pdgaert8928
Santa proposed that Christians abandon their materialistic holiday, and have Christmas honor the birth of Jesus again. It didn't go over well
FaultyNinja
"I've heard of stockings hung with glee but this is ridiculous! Get it?! Ha!" "Shut up and chant, Steve."
bubsfoster
Teacher says that every time Santa is hung from a stoplight, an angel gets its wings.
gatorboymike
With the rise of the $600 video game console, the devaluation of world currency, and the environment hurtling toward disaster, it was only a matter of time before the stocking market collapsed.
porsche
Getting a first kiss under the dangling santa makes for a way better story than mistletoe.
pigscanfly
the kkk decided to get into the holiday spirit by dressing up for the season.
FaultyNinja
Martin's life flashed before his eyes and he noticed the moment he made the decision resulting in this; He wanted to be the first Jewish Santa.
MyersGuy
"...But other than that, yeah, Christmas in Saudi Arabia is pretty much exactly the same."
penumbrage
Actually, one holiday is pretty much like any other holiday when you live in Effigy, Alabama.
tesch
Nobody thought he'd go through with it, but he did. All everyone wants is a goddamn wii.
jic
The International Brotherhood of Department Store Santas started to realise that Tehran wasn't the right place to hold their convention.
Uttermadness
After an indictment which in which Mr. Clause was found guilty of calling a woman a "Ho Ho Ho" the previously jolly man found his last resort as a stream of protesters harried him.
Dude
The North's version of the KKK, the Kris Kringle's Klan, finally caught the real Santa and strung him up like Christmas lights on a nice and snowy Christmas night.
Poopenmyer
"I'm not sure thats a pinata!" "Who cares, lets hit it with sticks and see what comes out."
Yabels
The Santa was hung from the stoplight with care, in hopes that St. Nichol....oh wait.
Gakus
little did they know. the signpost was not designed to take the extra weight of, red velvet and fur trimming.
qukluc
Mel Gibson's version of "Miracle on 34th Street." ...Guess what religion the bad Santas are? (hint: it rhymes with jew)
MenDAKE
After centuries of stuffing himself down chimneys and dealing with pampered brats, Santa finally gave himself what HE wanted for Christmas.
MenDAKE
Despite Santa's best intentions, the video game generation reacted negatively to the re-introduction of wooden toys.
PhilMcCracken
The elves hated to do it, but this was the only way that the revolution would succeed.
halcyon
When Johnny's mother found out that young Johnny felt something poking him while sitting on Santa's lap, she knew something had to be done.
mw27
He wasn't fat enoguh. The defective Santa was sought out and terminated. You have to do whatever it takes, to keep the Christmas magic alive.
HyruleanHyroe
Dammit, Santa, you should know better than to meddle in cloning! Now you pay the price!
prodigalpanda
As he hung limply over times square, Waldo thought to himself that maybe he had taken his game a little too far this time.
abend954
Santa Claus learned the hard way what happens when the naughty children don't get their presents.
CorbinA
First it was cookies. Then it was milk...now Santa's demands were getting out of hand.
jic
While few truly believed that Dave deserved what happened to him, it was generally considered that he *did* encourage the children to sit on his lap for an inappropriately long time.
Kahn
We told that fat man to get that reindeer shit off our roofs "or else". Guess we should have interpreted the "or else" as "a public lynching followed by cake".
mgm
Hey, i just noticed that its a real person, check out the hands, they are connected to arms. lol, poor santa
Ranger
When reindeer fight back! www.NeilsNotes.com http://neilsnotes.com/?page=15&catid=46&sku=E-CD00408
fuzzymuffins
clearly he didn't read the fine print when signing the macy's santa contract.
Charlie
Everyone stared in horror as they realized the Macy's Santa was wearing red shoes, not black ones.
Mr_K_Twig
"...so, in conclusion, when you make a cd out of corn and hold it up like this, it sortof looks like a boob".
Ranger
After Luke levitated Santa... the Christmas Ewoks knew he wasn't fucking around... www.NeilsNotes.com
Ranger
Santa is black? http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=13&catid=13&sku=ENGL-CD00279
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