Other Craptions

With only a trampoline and a whisper of "Your shoe is untied" Staff Sergeant Max Fightmaster makes it to the front of the line for body armor in 4 seconds.

Peter pan never really fit in with B company.

The Army is testing a new method of floating by using farts. As you can see it's quite effective!

The things you miss as you tie your bootlaces.

Shortly after this photo was taken, The Army stopped training Special Forces near San Francisco...

The scene Tom Cruise really had in mind in Mission Impossible.

The squad slowly but surely pulled the earth right-side up. Their quick thinking saved the life of Lt. Anderson, who was stuck in a time warp.

Surprisingly, most modern military tactics were stolen from the film Braveheart.

After creating a helium filled inflatable soldier, DARPA started work on its next project. A soldier with five asses.

As the Anti-Christ fell to Earth, the Genreal assembled his team of wind ninjas to repel the invasion.

"...bend over and I'll show you."

The Polish Army's tribute to Evel Knievel.

Peter had little faith that the plan would work, but when all 5 of the enemy soldiers bent down to pick up the quarter, he sprung into attack mode.

DARPA's testing of its new gay repellent saturated BDUs was a resounding success.

Don't ask.

"So", the reporter asked, "Has the taxpayers money been spent responsibly in the war on terror? "Ummmmmmmm", replied the president.

"Iraq will fall when we finally unleash our leapfrog on the earth!"

woah! you caught some major air that time!

Invisible Buttsecks!

Behold: The Birth of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy.

The Russian Marines know how to take orders. This marine was told to take a flying fuck.

By introducing beans into the Army's diet, Methane became cheaper for military usage for Lighter-Than-Air travel.

The other privates laughed to themselves, as Johnson found out the hard way that the drill sergeant wasn't kidding when he said "Assume the position!!!"

Running low on ammunition, Iraqi forces were forced to deploy their secret "Human Canonball" weapon. Fortunately, Allied soldiers were quick to develop an effective defense.

The levitation trick's not all that great when you know the secret to it.........

The first butt-powered anti-gravity field!

Five all-Mexican food MRI's + five enlisted men with intestinal issues + one private with no sense of smell = one government regulation air hockey table.

Renowned cryptozoologist Joe-Dan O'Leary is photographed capturing the legendary giant Guatemalan ass-caterpillar.

You think it's bad when all your shoelaces come undone simultaneously? Spontaenous levitation, that's what is really bad!

"It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!"

Who cares if your country has no budget for proper paratrooper training. Improvise!: The Ukraine experiments with fart powered free fall exercises.

Tragedy at the Army Cheerleading Tryouts as the pyramid collapsed.

With the recent budget cut to the armed forces, the military has to come up with a more cost-effective way for deploying airborne troops.

Look at the concentration!

When bullets and teamwork fail this squad, they compensate by leap-frogging over enemy defenses

So this is how you kill 5 birds with 1 stone.

Sure he was grossly outnumbered, but oddly, Sgt. Kale was fearless at the thought of taking on the German squadron.

Pushups were pretty hard, Invisble pushups were another story altogether..

SURPRISE!

Ooops!! I forgot to take my pants off!! Let's try that again!

Our latest interrogation technique; we call it "grassboarding".

Parachute?!?! Privates don't need no stinkin' parachute!! www.NeilsNotes.com

Sgt. Davis' unorthodox tactics where quite unpopular among the Rear Admirals

Sgt Evil Knievel tried hard to live up to the reputation of his namesake

Semper Fly!

Perfecting the "Duck" portion of the "Duck and Roll" technique was somehow less unnerving with live fire above their heads.

Peter Pan and his "Lost Boys" never really meshed well with the rest of the Army.

Pictured here is 6 soldiers, 17 ninjas, and 19 vampires. This was the last picture this man ever took. Behind the camera stood Chuck Norris.

Private Harry Johnson finally decided to use his power of flight to get away from the military from fucking him up the ass again. Fly high Mr. Johnson, fly high!