Other Craptions

As bad an idea as this was, it was better than using a plate as an oar like they had for the last 10 years.

Long-distance food fights was an intergral part of the Chinese army's training. Private Tuong carefully loaded his weapon.

Pvt. Chang and his paddle had been up shit creek before, but never shit and RICE creek...

The miniature Chinese Military struggled with the new giant chopsticks.

"Elbow up, back straight; they can't take my dignity," thought Xin.

Having never heard of the "wait 30 minutes before swimming rule" the marine invasion was doomed to failure before it even began.

Chicken oar fish sir?

Dammit, I wanted a full orifice, not a full oar of rice!

"Eating off your own paddle, you better believe that's a paddlin'"

grumble... grumble..... muble "it's not just a job, it's an adventure my @ss".. grumble..grumble

"ok, i'm good with the calamOREi, but what the fuck kind of pun can I make out of rice?!? Boy, Long John Silver's menu camp sure is intense! I wonder if the other guys are having as much trouble as me. Fuck it, gotta stay focused. Rice...ore...hm

"Did everyone wash their hands?"

"It put the food on its skin or it get the oar up the ass again"

If I ever see that recruiter again I'm gonna jam this thing right up his ass.

"Ugh! There's some dirt in my food!"

"This place isn't getting more than two stars," thought Chen.

Her religion forbids showing Bobby her special place. So Janet showed him the only way she could think of.

Here we are at the secret competetive eating training grounds

Even though he was disappointed, Garret's dream had dreamed of attending a Cambodian clown college since he was eight, and he was gonna make the most of it.

Sarge says I have to eat this OAR else... get it? I'm eating off of an oar... like for a boat... not as in the normal conjunction one would expect. This sucks.

This is your brain on Opium.

You aren't eat off a silent propulsion motor. Take THAT, Navy Seals.

"Damn, I thought the they offered chicken OR rice."

The Korean army's new method of determining how just stupid their recruits were left them with little to show for it

You can't eat off a silent propulsion motor. Take THAT, Navy Seals.

The kids asked "why are we in this cave", Oprah replies "so they can't hear your broke ass scream".

Smearing my food on my face will make the enemy think I am crazy!

You know I don't think this is what they mean by oral distribution...

The latest breakthrough in North Korean military technology did not come with instructions.

Remind me why I still use a plate.

You think eating from that thing sucks, how about holding it up for some dick who stuffs himself with your food!

Plan B to save money on utensils went much better than Plan A...also known as "the propeller plate" massacre.

only one recruit in guitar hero boot camp looked promising...

one of the many hazing rituals that still exist

The medals weigh down our chests so that you cannot see out man boobs.

This will be their last meal as they try to invade America by rowboat.

Worst summer camp EVAR!

This was the last meal the recruits would eat for four days. Later, in a hunger crazed madness, Steve would eat his paddle, and suffered severe constipation. On return to base, he was given copious amounts of laxative. The paddle would later feel iro

This oar smells like my bitches clam! www.NeilsNotes.com

Tomorrow we'll be paddling through their sewer system we should reach our target by noon

This is what the George Lucas version of Apocalypse Now would have looked like.

the ultimate fod fight weapon

What Chen didn't know: Touch rice = swift ore movement upwards.

The thinking was that making these lonely Servicemen eat off of the fishy-stench-soaked oars would make them miss going down on their women so they'd fight harder. Turns out it just turned them gay. www.NeilsNotes.com

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?

Up next, on Fear Factor:China.....

The rice and June Bugs go down a lot easier than the oar does... let me tell you! www.NeilsNotes.com

The new Planet Hollywood - War Movie Theme didnt settle that well with the costumers.

while everyone else complained about eating off an oar, wang decided to make light of it and played air guitar while he ate