Other Craptions

With the help of Donald Sutherland, the beached synchronized swimming team was returned to the wild.

Evolution: From beardy weirdo to dolphin in 4 easy steps...

It had taken a while but Tom had finally managed to combine his two favourite hobbies. Swimming and bondage

The withered master looked on at his pupils in dismay. "I don't know if I have enough time left to pass on the art of the 'Stand-at-a-thirty-degree-angle', taught to me by my original sensei, the Smooth Criminal."

Unfortunately, the zombie could swim, too.

In the land of speedos, the man with some damn shorts is king.

Like every other book they touch, Hollywood butchers the ending to Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea.

As jacques cousteau aged, there were unfortunate consequences when he began misinterpreting the statement "Tape the dive".

Even in his late 70's, chuck norris was still able to take down and bind 3 fully grown humans simply by looking at them

If the Sopranos took place in San Francisco....

Unable to find a boat, Grandpa decides to just ducktape the grandkids together in to a raft.

Human Devolution Figure 1.A

Here we see Guiseppie's trust excercises with his diving class suffer a setback. The water is only about 3 inches deep.

Having been mocked by the other dolphin trainers his entire life, Paolo often took it out on his family...

Alright kids, 20 bucks goes to the first one to find my false teethe.

As the animorphs grew older, Marco discovered the secret to youth. Too bad it only lasts two hours.

As Eric fussed with the binds and dove head first in, one resounding thought kept ringing in his head. "Goddammit, I hate you Grandpa"

a lovely day at the beach, catching some sunshine swim in the sea and drowning your grandchildren. And you thought it woudn't be fun!

Look...David Blaine....it's not that we don't believe you can survive underwater for a week while being tied up with someone's family. It's that we don't care

Having lost his monthly people-in-bondage catch, Old Man McGee would go home empty-handed again.

Either grandad is walking on water, or the divers are about to bust up their face.

I got 20 bucks that says somebody posts: "This is blasphemy, this is madness!" "THIS. IS. SEAWORLD!!"

Scientests watched in amazement as man unevolved back into fish

Ninja schools require students do demonstrate proficiency in hovering and walking on water. This is often useful for finding lost items at the beach.

Life Aquatic 2: The Search for Zissou's Hat.

Like I told you, levitation is the ONLY way off Neverland Island!

Old man Jesus was the clearly the most suitable judge of the Olympic jr. swim like a salmon competition

When Sea World ran out of funding for the dolphin show they started cutting corners

Cuban torpedo test evidence.

As Michale Jackson got older it become increasingly difficult to escape from him.

Boatpeople! Assemble and move out!

Awakenings II: They borrow the will of the bathing caps.

RAISED BY DOLPHINS

"Yep. Sniper got them all with on shot. Damn hes good."

See kids, I told you ya didn't need your arms for swimmin'

Shaquille O'Neal decides to make the switch to football.

Some members of the Vatican, taking Jesus Day far too seriously, paid the price at Pismo Beach

Speedo=$20 Swimming lessons from crazy old man= $100 Drowning while tied up and trying to escape via the ocean= priceless

Splicing humans with salmon seemed such a good idea at the time...

Starved for food and stalked by relentless, horny land predators, the ancient ancestors of the Twinkseal took to the waves in search of fish.

Surprisingly, the new Starbucks on the 40th floor had a line...out the window.

PSYCHE! haha...bitches

Practice is the key to keeping the island of Lesbos number 1 in the muff diving Olympics.

Poor Mr. Delaney truly is going insane. Not only did he forget his pants and his shirt, he also forgot to kill the prostitutes before disposing of them.

OH MY GOD! They're just like dominos!

"Yes, sunny, Enter the Fountain of Youth!

Old man Jones had finally discovered the age reversal process to make him a strapping young man. The only problem was, it didn't make his bad back any better. If anything, it got worse...

Pappy never was right in the head...

Patiently, the man-grizzly waits for the human salmon to come to him.