Other Craptions

The National Guard 'Take your son to work day' had its glitches.

They didn't guard the Queen. They didn't guard the Pope. They guarded Timothy Phelps. And they sucked at it, 'cause he was about to kill them all.

And thus, young Billy started a lifetime of playing with his pink sword whenever he saw a man in uniform

Waiting for the perfect time to strike, little William kept his cool. No military bastard was marrying his mum and sending him off to no damned Boarding school.

Jim Henson's "Metal Gear Babies."

3,2,1 right in the nuts

"Metal Gear Solid 5: Solid Snake Jr." for PS11 confirmed.

Not many know about the low-budget modernised version of JRR Tolkien's legendary tale: 'The Lord of the Rings'

I is in your country killing you's royal guards

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!

The Legend of Zelda is different in Latvia.

Though the architect of "small guard hut" got the cat flap dimensions right, he failed to realise the physical limitations of the average cat.

"Abortions cost to much money, So I just left my son in Europe."

"I don't much feel like growing up like Dad anymore."

Cute? Yeah. 6 years old? Of course. Guarding a palace? Without question. Ready to cut your throat? You better believe it.

It was on this fateful day that little Johnny had his first experience of penis envy.

"look, I have more martial than the Guard, is it?"

"see the world, he said. Handle million dollar equipment, he said.Learn to be a man, he said."

...now, if you stand at THIS angle, the mirror will show you the horrible reality that is your future job as a rent-a-cop! BEHOLD!

The powder blue uniform will be no match for my yellow hoodie cloak and dagger.

the next splinter cell game is going to suck

Act more grown up should I? You mean like stand near a hole to get pushed in, hold my weapon like a girl and worry about losing a shirt button?

After years of failed assasination attempts the Resistance decided that a midget with a wooden sword was their best bet.

Sam Fisher as a kid

Rare picture of me and my two imaginary friends as I make use of this here urinal.

Now all that was left to do was hand the Keaton mask to the guard.

Little did the French know that their army was soon to be enialated

Gee, wonder if one of these up his arse is what keeps him standing so straight?

Hundreds left, a handful stayed, only one looked back. No fear would grip him, only a heightened sense of things

It was then he knew he'd rather kill than be written up for being caught out of uniform.

It was widely agreed on that the Republican Guard's "duel of honour" system was too one-sided.